I didn't cry or felt sad when I was told of my dad's death...Should I hide my emotions?

Question

MY DAD DIED YESTERDAY AFTERNOON IN CANADA, WHILE DRIVING HOME FROM WORK. HE WANTED TO COME SEE ME IN THE UK AFTER 5 LONG YEARS, THIS HALF TERM. HE AND MY MUM DIVORCED WHEN I WAS 3. HE DIDN'T WANNA KNOW ABOUT ME UNTIL I WAS 14, THEN HE TURN UP TO SEE ME. I CAN'T CALL HIM "MY DAD" COZ HE WAS NEVER THERE FOR ME...I FEEL ANGRY, BUT NOT SAD...

Answer 1

You have alot of things in your past you may not forgive him for.
It is very hard not to feel angry because so many things may have been said or left unsaid. Never hide the emotions. Everyone deals with things differently, so if anyone says anything, let them mind their own business because they cannot feel what you feel.
Some people write down what they want to say to get out the feelings and emotions, other people talk to someone they can trust, or go on the internet to chat rooms for advice.

My Dad Died when I was 16, we were very close and I still was angry that he left, then sad that he wasn't there any more. 15 years later, I still miss him. I was very lucky to have a kind Dad like him.

Best of luck to you and hope things turn out good for you.

Answer 2

There are many stages of grief in bereavement, and anger is one of the first. You are angry because of what you've missed, both in the past and in the future. You are angry because death has taken away the chance to get to know one half of the people who created you. Grief also numbs us initially, so that we can carry on functioning. It is also difficult for you because although he was your father, you didn't know him very well. You think you ought to be feeling more than you are. You have been bereaved but right now that is indefinable. If there is any sadness for youto come, it is more likely to be in the form of great regrets for what you haven't had in your life that most people do. The sadness over this will catch up with you. It's a part of grief that is unavoidable. The stages of grief seem to run their course, no matter how people try and suppress them. However, as for full on crying, perhaps that won't come. You haven't lost someone in your everyday life whose absence will change your life as it is now. Just feel what you feel. If you're not trying to suppress what you feel, your grief will arrive quite naturally. It might help you to find out more about him.

Answer 3

Is this a sad country song or something? I feel like I read this exact letter a couple of months ago from a girl on Yahoo Answers. Maybe you two can start a support group. I feel sad because it sounds like he wanted to try to have a relaitonship with you now, but it's too late for him. Learn from his mistake. Have a little compassion. Sometimes people can't help the thoughtless things that they do.

Answer 4

I felt angry when my father died a few years ago too. And why should we believe the emotional blackmail that tells us we should forgive, because he realises he's made a mistake?
I'd have given anything to have had a proper relationship with him and just because he died, doesn't mean the past is undone.
By the way, on his deathbed, he said he regretted he hadn't made more effort. And this is the message we should get across - don't take your children for granted. They have feelings too.

Answer 5

it was yesterday so it might not have sunk in yet,dont bottle up your emotions,it will do more harm than good,my dad didnt want 2 no until i was old enough to look after myself n now 12 years later i still only call him father coz it takes some1 special 2 be your dad.You will be angry coz u wont ever know how things would have turned out if he came 2 see ya.I'm sorry 4 ya try keeping your chin up,what will be,will be.take care.

Answer 6

There is no reason to feel sad,he was your father only in the biological sense.A real father would have been there for you through all the uncertainties & fears that children have.My father cared more for alcohol than he did for his family,when he died a few years ago,i felt nothing,i didn't like him when he was alive,so why would i grieve when he died?Please don't feel guilty about your feelings,live your life the best you can,& never look back.Good luck.

Answer 7

Okay ~ u need to talk to someone and no u shouldn't have to feel if u are not feeling it. U were not a part of his life and he was not a part of yours.What is there to feel ?? U had no relationship so therefore u don't really know him. Just show respect and if u feel emotional that's up to u if u decide to show it. Good Luck

Answer 8

If you were closer with your dad you proberly would feel something about his death but as you didnt know him that well you dont feel anything, people deal with grief in all differnet kind of ways. Hope your ok..? x

Answer 9

when my dad died i was pregnant and with the baby i felt as tho i could not grieve as i felt the stress would not be good for my unborn child so i feel as tho i have not grieved at all for him yeah i was really upset but it didn't upset me as it should of done.... everybody grieves in different way dint worry about it.

Answer 10

There was no attachment between you and your dad,thus it is difficult for you to cry or show your emotions.