help, im at a dead end?

Question

my friend is afraid that she might go back into the hospital and i dont know what to say to her. ive said the normal "dont worry you'll get better, and no matter your not alone and im always here for you" stuff but i dont know what else to say to her to encourage her and make her feel like everything is ok. please help

she has a disease where there is always internal bleeding in her stomach. that last time she was in the hospital she was there for two weeks

Answer 1

It is hard at times to find just the right thing to say in situations like this. Sometimes its better to listen, really listen to them. Sometimes they just need to have someone listen rather than have an answer for them. I would listen first, then answer honestly and supportive. She may need you to be her crutch rather than her psychic.

Answer 2

You should not be telling her that she will get better. Quite simply you don't know that for sure.
I understand this may be your wish, but effectively all your doing is feeding her need for sympathy and pity. This is what defines your friend.

If you are truly her friend. You need to tell her something along this lines.
Look, you may go back to hospital or you may not. Just like I may get hit by a bus tomorrow or not. The thing is you are not in hospital right now, so why spend your time agonizing over the possibility instead of enjoying the moment?
I am happy to spend time with you enjoying life. However if you would rather commiserate, find someone else to do it with. Been there, done that and it is getting old.

Answer 3

You are doing everything a good friend can do. Just keep reassuring her that you are always going to be there for her. If she is terribly ill, the hospital might be just the right place for her.

Answer 4

Be honest

Tell her what ever is in your heart

If it will not offend either of your believes ask what ever deity you believe in to watch over her in her time of need.

Another suggestion is to plan a trip or outing for later in her recovery so she has a reason to get better.

You could do what I did and give her a jade dragon. My dragon has seen 3 people safely thought operation from with they all recovered !

Answer 5

Thats awfully nice of you..but there is not much you can say now..just be there for her jsut like you said you were going to be..and tell her you love her and visit her while she is in the hospital..hold her hand when she needs it etc..

Answer 6

you can only do so much for your friends. you can only encourage people so much. some people are impossible to cheer up once they get to a certain point in depression. it is really hard, but you aren't responsible for her emotions. you have to back off a little bit because it is going to soon begin to eat at you. you are a giver... and someone who gives too much-- i am one of these people and i have been in similar situations...

Answer 7

I have friend that is about to find out if he needs another very risky surgical procedure that could cost him his life. I told him that that I can't even begin to imagine what he must be going through, that his strength is an inspiration to me, that our friendship is important to me, and that am rooting for him to pull through with flying colors.

Answer 8

What's she going in for? All you can do is be there for support. People generally aren't looking for solutions to their problems, as much as they are for your moral support and/or just a friend or someone to listen. It's just good that you're there for her.... Talk about other things that make her happy...

Answer 9

Just be there, just tell her no matter what happens your going to be there for her.

Answer 10

you just have tio be there when she needs you, none of us can predict the future.