I get so mad at my husband for masterbating to online porn! Its not like I don't offer myself, and he would have sex with me just about anytime of the day. But he loves porn! I caught him tonight and he said "it's not like I am the only man in the world that does this" and "most women have no problem with husbands doing this". Is he right?? It just makes me feel like I am not good enough, or look good enough. Please be honest and don't give smart *** remarks, please! He does this alot, and I am sure more than I even know about.
2006-10-18 16:59:00 · 14 answers · asked by Stephanie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think that's a problem. If you weren't willing to have sex with him often, I could SORT OF understand. I don't think you're wrong at all to be upset about this.
Maybe you could let him walk in on you masturbating to pictures of diamond bracelets or something. It might be funny.
This sounds like an issue that he might want to take up with a doctor -- that's an addiction to porn and it's not healthy. I have NOTHING against porn, but when it interferes with a real life relationship, that's a problem.
2006-10-18 17:03:52 · answer #1 · answered by Miss E. 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really don't think you should be mad. First of all, he obviously loves you and values your relationship, otherwise he would be going elsewhere to fulfill his fantasies rather than being at home with you where it is possible for you to keep an eye on him. This cements several comments with respect to him. First, he respects your relationship, second, he does not want to expose you or your family to the possiblility of disease, third, he isn't leaving you for someone else, he is simply fulfilling a fantasy. Pershaps the next time you catch him, perhaps you could join him. There is nothing wrong with a couple being the "respectful Joneses" in public and be raunchy and naughty behind closed doors. Try changing routine. Throw away that wal-mart t-shirt and climb into a sleek teddy once in a while. You may find that this is the sort of action he is craving. If it bothers you this badly and change in routine is not an option, you need to sit down with him and decide on a solution calmly as two adults. Remember to open minded. There are solutions to this situation if you are willing to look at it openly and respect his feelings as well. Have you asked him what the porn gives him that you don't? Try this and see what your answers could be.
2006-10-18 17:12:45 · answer #2 · answered by Big "D" 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband has the same problem not only with the online porn but also with cybering in chat rooms saying that it isnt cheating because its not physical contact. He would flat out deny it even if it was in his face. I played the reverse physcology game. I found out that if I started looking at porn all the time and cybering with guys on here and leave clues everywhere that he got jealous and flew off the handle. Then I had to explain to him once again how that could be a problem in our marriage and how much it hurt me like it did him. After feeling what I had felt he either simmered down or got smarter and started to hide it better. But either way I feel better showing him how much it hurt and at least now I have some kind a peace in my head and its not so much in my face.
2006-10-18 17:16:37 · answer #3 · answered by Marissa W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband has very little interest in watching porn at home (have 2 youngs kids so it's not easy), but when we stay at a hotel with pay-per-view porn movies, we're all over it! I think most guys like it, but your's might have an obsession. I wouldn't be mad that it's porn...I'd be more concerned that he has a fixation on it, just as someone could have an addiction to cigarettes, or food, or gambling. Talk to him nonconfrontationally and try to let him know that you're concerned, not jealous.
2006-10-18 17:22:30 · answer #4 · answered by chnchita 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men take porn differently than most women. It's just a way to get off & doesn't mean he's judging you or thinks any less of you. He's a hornball. Still there have been studies that excessive porn can kill a relationship. I think he is feeding you a line that most men would like to think is correct. However I think most women would like to think of their man making love to them instead of jacking off with a computer. If it bothers you, that's all that should matter.
2006-10-18 17:07:56 · answer #5 · answered by Arikbo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you are not wrong I am not for porn I am all about pleasure and trying new things but just the two of us together no porn just me as the star of the show it would hurt me to and he is wrong about most women don't care some do some don't I personally think it is wrong!
2006-10-18 17:03:04 · answer #6 · answered by SHENA B 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband does it and I don't have a problem with it. i know he loves me and that he would never cheat.
Most guys are visual, when they masturbate they do it "better" when they ave something to look at. Women tend to have better fantasies in their minds...and they also like to read porn, hence the romance book craze! When you masturbate what do you think about? I don't always think of my hubby...but I would never physically cheat on him...sometimes it's just fun to think of someone else!
2006-10-18 17:04:35 · answer #7 · answered by paganmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is married to you not to the internet people. So he shouldn't be having sex with people on-line. It is cheating. You have the right to divorce him. Of course it is best if he would stop willingly. Go for counselling or take drastic steps.
2006-10-19 00:15:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u know what, there is a lot of guys who do that kind of stuff but u know what, i would be very upset when my baby woyld be masturbating infront of this stuff. he can look at it but i dont want him to masturbate, he has me to have sex with not his hand... i dont blame u for being upset, maybe just watch it with him and after u done start the game with him, he will realised that it would feel better than him doing it himself and maybe he will stop...
2006-10-18 17:05:21 · answer #9 · answered by Ashlee_Hbiba 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would go to a marriage counselor. this is a major problem that many marriages face. i would go see a professional so that you can work on this issue and hopefully take care of it before it ruins your marriage.
2006-10-18 17:08:32 · answer #10 · answered by christy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋