The other day my dad actually had the nerve to ask me why, if I love and respect him so much, I don't want to be just like him?? Yes, he was serious! I told him I don't want to be his clone and he said don't state the obvious. He has a Master's degree and is very bright and is a devout Christian. I don't want to be the type to tell people their going to Hell or that they're not really a Christian...lol. There's other things too that I don't want to be like him. What's wrong with him that he would be so arrogant to seriously think that love and respect equals copying him 100%?
2006-10-18 16:50:36 · 10 answers · asked by icu812 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Parents can do that you know, like if they wanted to be a singer and didn't have the balls to do it they would make you do singing lessons when you are young hoping that YOU WOULD LIVE OUT THERE DREAMS cause they didn't. Maybe he also thinks his a great role model and doesnt understand why your not as good as him?!?!?
2006-10-18 20:42:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like the underlying issue is that he is insecure about how you feel about him and that if you reject some of his characteristics, then you don't like him. It is normal for everyone to have insecurities and to have these sorts of feelings, and being a parent doesn't make things any different.
After all, when most kids are younger, they see their parents as the best (hang out near a child care centre and you will often hear kids saying 'my mum/dad is the best mum/dad in the world'. Your dad may still be relating to you in this way. Meanwhile, you are probably becoming increasingly independent. Up until now, your parents may have identified themselves based on this role since it has been so much of their lives. Habits are hard to change and maybe a song such as 'Butterfly kisses' might give you some insight into just how traumatic this experience can be for a dad. If you are a teenager or young adult, you both need to work on your relationship so that you can relate as adults.
Meanwhile, why not make the effort to find ways to reassure your dad that you're glad that your his daughter and that even though you will become more and more independent as you get older and the way that you both relate will change, this doesn't mean that you love each other.
2006-10-18 17:20:47 · answer #2 · answered by eco101 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds very arrogant. Thinks he's perfect, so everyone should naturally do what he does, but here's the problem. If he was around someone like him, he wouldn't like them very much, I guarantee. He would have the nerve to call them arrogant.
Plus, you could pose the same question to him. If he loved and respected his father so much, why did he not copy him 100%? Now, I don't know your father but, I'm willing to bet that he didn't copy HIS dad 100%. See what he says, then look at him and say, "Daddy, you taught me everything you could, now let me decide who I am." Smile, hug him, and hopefully this will end that nonsense.
2006-10-18 16:59:01 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your father has a actual and organic issue for you obviously as evidenced through his asking "what's incorrect?" He can experience there is a few thing that's inflicting you to act otherwise or out of the traditional. some adult men basically do not have the brilliant verbal substitute skills even as a newborn comes into their lives, so that they do the ultimate that they can. The silence between fathers and babies turns into too regularly occurring to the point that there is an uncomfortable convenience between both. One would not understand a thanks to seek for suggestion from from the different, notwithstanding the presence of both is coming near near so that they basically have a unstated awareness. Now that your father senses that some thing is faulty, he needs to work out that you get regardless of is necessary to convey you back to your self, or the fellow that he knows. His issue sounds very actual and heartfelt. You DO elect some help because slicing your self isn't widespread. If he knew that you've been doing this (and that i'm particular he would not or he might want to have forcibly intervened to get help for you) it would want to spoil his heart understanding that there is help accessible yet you gained't enable him to get it for you. you do not ought to attempt to bypass into deep communicate about what's incorrect - keep that for the therapist - yet bypass to him and tell him there is a few thing incorrect yet you do not understand what that's and that you elect help. He can communicate wih your generic practitioner for a suggestion for a therapist. he's reaching out to you despite the undeniable fact that both of you haven't had the brilliant father/newborn courting. He loves you and is in touch. maximum of all, he needs to assist yet he won't be able to in case you gained't enable him. bypass to him... strong success!
2016-10-16 05:33:55 · answer #4 · answered by hinch 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is not v.clear what the context to your Dad's question was.
Parents make a huge emotional investment in their children. Parents, for example, often feel guilty for their children's actions - so they constantly worry if they are not doing enough for their kids!
Children (almost always) view this in reverse - as parents dominating their lives!! Perhaps your father was exasperated when he asked this question. It doesnt seem like a hugely egoistical person who has repeatedly asked you to model yourself after him.
Be reasonable, have a chat and assure him you have your head screwed on right! Years from now you will have a chance to remind him of this exchange and laugh at his embarrassment!!
2006-10-18 18:17:07 · answer #5 · answered by itponnana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you have to say is that you love him and respect him but, you are you and can only be you. You are a different person. He will get over it eventually.
2006-10-18 17:04:01 · answer #6 · answered by Dusty R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a bit egotistical. Maybe what he really wants is some reassurance that you really do care for him.
2006-10-18 16:58:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice to see you think for yourself. Your dad-- Perhaps to much christian in him.
2006-10-18 17:05:27 · answer #8 · answered by reefer 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He's full of himself??? I dunno and i dont think anyone on here can help with this question, this is probably something you should ask your father...
~CHEERS!!~
2006-10-18 16:55:48 · answer #9 · answered by Romy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is a man!!
2006-10-19 01:32:20 · answer #10 · answered by lily 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋