I found out almost a month ago that my husband stayed at his ex wife's house 2 days after our 3rd anniversary. Then after further prying he finally admitted to sleeping with her. I am good to him and the kids that he has, she treated him bad by going out on him and taking money from him all the time not leaving him any to go on the rest of the week I mean really bad to him. I have always been there for him and his family. Will I ever completely trust him again? and how long will it take? We have started going back to church, we had not been for a few months. He is treating me better I don't know if it is just guilt or what. Has anyone out there been in this situation before if so please HELP ME..
2006-10-18 16:37:57 · 16 answers · asked by short but sentimental 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It will take as long as it takes him to prove to you that he's trustworthy... it's good that you're in church... give that guilt plenty of time to work on his conscience... & give the Lord time to work on his heart/mind about it.
He can learn from mistakes/wrongs... not to repeat the wrong again.
2006-10-18 16:52:31 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am currently in a similar situation. It will take some time and a lot of work on both parts. He has to understand that he messed up and that you will question him and want to know what he's doing because he's made you insecure. And you have to try to get over what happened if you want to keep your marriage. And you have to understand that cheating has nothing to do with how good you are to a man or what the other person has done to him. Women always try to make themselves feel better by talking about how much better they are than the other woman. It's really not about who's prettier, who's the most successful or who has the best body, etc. But hopefully you will be ok. Consider getting some counseling.
2006-10-18 16:46:00 · answer #2 · answered by MsT 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey girl,ur always going to wonder if hes cheating or being real to u.but if ur that much in love with him then u will in time learn to put it behind u.well u may for give but u will not forget.u both r going to have to sit down and talk about it until u feel somewhat better.just sit down and tell how ur feeling.he did it and if he loves u and just messed up then hell listen.but how will u ever know that shes the only girl hes cheated on u with?my husband done that and now we r having alot of trouble because hes always thinking i might be cheating on him and its guilt.so girl if u want to give it ur best shot all the power to u,but if u have kiids it will make it a little harder to leave but u do what u think is best.follow ur heart
2006-10-18 18:53:44 · answer #3 · answered by angel girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i im gonna answer straight from my heart im sorry you were hurt the heart kind of hurt is worse then if you had been slapped he should thank god he has you all i can tell you is my boyfriend cheated on me were still together but after 3 years i still dont trust him although i love him so much it hurts it hurts more because i can not give him 100 percent of my trust dont think there is a time limit on trusting some one he will have to prove too you gain your respect and trust back slowly it only takes a minute to shatter a heart but years to rebuild i hope things work out for you
2006-10-18 16:59:58 · answer #4 · answered by little_outlaw_angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's always going to be in the back of your mind, every time theres the least little argument you will wonder when he will do this to you again.this is something one never gets over, he has broken your trust, and betrayed you. my ex cheated and i could have never gotten past it, i filed for divorce, it was difficult at first, took me awhile but i made it through ok. it's sometimes easier to just let them go and divorce them. he is only treating you better for a while, he wasn't ready to leave you yet. i feel for you i have been there twice, and both times i divorced the husband. only you know if you will be able to get past this.cheaters seem to keep cheating whenever things don't go their way, they don't seem to have the relationship skills to work things out so they just go out and cheat. good luck
2006-10-18 23:37:41 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you find the answer let me know. I have been trying to trust my boyfriend for a long time now. I guess I have this saying in my head, Your eyes tell you the truth and your ears hear what you want to hear.
2006-10-18 16:45:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is something that is earned and that takes time --- you took him back into your life/home but the deep internal issues weren't resolved.... both of you should get into family/marriage counselling and get to the root of the problems that lead to his lying and cheating on you.
2006-10-18 16:51:03 · answer #7 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is a bucket of sh*t.
Treating you better? You two need professional counseling NOW. Go alone if he refuses --- you need more than you can gety from a bunch of bozo's on the internet with this problem.
2006-10-18 16:41:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You will never have 100% trust in him again but more power to you if you are willing to try and work things out.
2006-10-18 16:39:32 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you can't trust someone once they cheat. he lost your trust, and it is over. you can stay with him, but youre never going to trust him again. he has probably done it before without your knowledge and will do it again. that is the nature of a cheater.
2006-10-18 17:12:53 · answer #10 · answered by christy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋