My boyfriend used to be on drugs and we went through hell.I was on the verge of leaving him when he went to jail.I stayed hoping jail would do him some good.He swears he is going to stay drug free and that he will not return to that lifestyle,He has finally admitted to me a lot of what he had done and wants to move past it but I cannot let it go yet.I am terrified that it is all just talk and when he gets home he will eventually go back to drugs.He gets mad cause I bring up the things he did to me and himself,he says he wants to move on.I am scared to death.I love him and he has a great heart and he is a great person,so should i trust him and see what happens????
2006-10-18 16:14:11 · 13 answers · asked by Red 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Hard question, you have to make the decision, we haven't been thru what you have,, but you have to start somewhere,, trust is a good place to begin,,, good luck.
2006-10-18 16:16:59 · answer #1 · answered by avery 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't get easier later. You listed several reasons to leave him. Fear of not finding another guy who loves you should never trump those reasons. You start treating yourself like someone who deserves better and you'll get better. Frankly you are better off alone that with that. Let him know that you want more from life than a junkie. Let him know that it's hard to trust him because of the lies. If he doesn't respect you more for respecting yourself, then he shouldn't have you. If he loves you and can prove himself to you later, then you can consider getting back together.
A person should have a great heart. But they should also have great self control. And great discipline. And great decision making skills. Besides that great heart of his, what else does he have? What do you have.
Finally you mentioned scared to death. That's your answer right there. If you're scared of the one you love, go find someone else.
2006-10-21 17:16:26 · answer #2 · answered by diesel_pusher2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because this is the part about you he does not love or feel connected to because he feels you betrayed him even though you were not together. The child you had that does not belong to him is a reminder everyday what you did. He also has trust and self esteem issues concerning what happened. He probably feels you jumped into a relationship too soon after your breakup and is and has found it very hard to deal with. With a baby on the way, you both should go to counseling so that you hopefully will stay together and rear your child together. The way things are going now, you will not stay together and will rearing two babies by yourself.
2016-05-22 01:11:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through the same thing and it is very hard to forget and move on. If you really love him it may be possible but I know that I was always questioning and waiting for the day that he would fall and it wasn't worth the pain so I left. The only thing I can say is that maybe your love will be enough to keep him clean but it will always be on your mind. Good Luck
2006-10-18 16:47:40 · answer #4 · answered by confused7873 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We can sometimes forgive some of the things a person has done , but we never forget.
Keep the past out of conversation with him.
The need for drugs is physiological, they affected both his mind and body.
He would like to the think the slate is clean, but the memories are engraved in stone.
If he begins to turn to his old ways, you need to get out of there.
2006-10-18 16:38:19 · answer #5 · answered by Mark 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can help provide an environment for him that totally removes him from all his former associates, access to drugs, and hangouts, then you may want to give him a chance, your support could be helpful. If you can't, then according to the statistics, the odds are heavily stacked against him, and you very well could be getting a front row seat to his return to prison.
2006-10-18 16:19:41 · answer #6 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand why you cant let it go. It is a very serious matter. Give him a chance. If he goes back to drugs then leave but he could be telling the truth when he says that he is done.
2006-10-18 16:18:20 · answer #7 · answered by Melinda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its hard to tell wether he;ll use again. No one can predict that...not even him. If you love him and want a future with him the only thing you can do is give him a chance. But the first sign he's back on again hit the road and don't look back.
Hope everything works out.
2006-10-18 16:17:43 · answer #8 · answered by \m/~metalgoddess~\m/ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it's completely rational that you're afraid. Drugs are addictive, remember? Most folks who do them do them again, and again, and again.
So, trust but verify. Give him the benefit of the doubt that he's being honest, but be cautious. And if it seems like he's back on drugs, hit the road.
If he's back on drugs, it means he loves them more than he loves you - or himself. He needs to get help.
2006-10-18 16:18:02 · answer #9 · answered by Z Z 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask your self this>>> Can you see him being the father of your children? Can you see him being the grandfather fo your grand children? Can you see him being with you for the rest of your life?? Does he make you happy? Do you feel safe and supported when your with him? ............If you answered No to any of the above questions , then you know what you should do. There is a reason you keep bring up the past and you know what it is.
2006-10-18 16:24:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋