My dad has a Master's degree and is very bright. He is a devout Christian. He actually had the nerve to ask me the other day why, if I love him as much as I claim to, and have so much respect for him, why I don't want to be JUST LIKE HIM?! I told him I am not his clone and he told me not to state the obvious. I told him that I pick and choose the good parts and ignore the other parts and he seems to have a problem with that...lol! I am my own person and have no desire to be just like him. He has many faults in my personal opinion. (He tells people they're going to Hell for example and that they're not really Christians for another example, he fought for and got custody of my nephew in a nasty custody dispute and I don't think he fought fair for another example) My point is I think he is being unreasonable and arrogant to think I should want to be JUST LIKE HIM if I claim to love and respect him so much. BTW: I'm 33 years old...LOL!!
2006-10-18 16:04:28 · 10 answers · asked by icu812 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You haven't figured it out yet and you are asking a bunch of Internet strangers? Not the best judgement. Sorry for giving you such a blunt opinion, but really.
2006-10-18 16:12:11 · answer #1 · answered by curiositycat 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I'm sure he loves you but maybe his approach to talking to you is coming about the wrong way.
People are different. My pastor says over and over again that he would much rather have his children honor him than love him. It's important that you honor your father but you don't have to be like him. Not all Christians are the same. You can be a Christian and still be different than someone else, like your dad for example.
Another example: I am a Christian myself and I hardly ever cuss while my dad, also a Christian, uses "colorful" little phrases when he comes home after a bad day.
Just curious: are you a Christian? Maybe if you are, your dad might not think you're "Christian" enough. If that's the case, then your dad needs to realize that people operate on different levels.
2006-10-18 23:16:34 · answer #2 · answered by chrstnwrtr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it seems to me your dad is not a good person in the fact that he is a manipulator. For one he is manipulating you to think you are doing something wrong for not being like him (which i think as a good thing) Second he is telling people they are going to Hell? That is obsurd the only person who can make that a true statement is God, Third if he is nasty enough to lie to get what he wants then he is the one who needs to analyze his outlook on life and what a good and true Christian is!
2006-10-18 23:14:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your father that the relationship between father and son is meant to reflect the beautiful relationship between God the Father and Christ the Son. (Just as the relationship between man and wife is meant to reflect the relationship between Christ and the Church)
It would be wrong and presumptuous for the God the Son to try to be just like the God the Father, (even though God the Father is perfect) and in the same way you feel that it is not right for you to try to be just like your earthly father. You may strive to be good, as he is good, but you must show that goodness in different ways.
For example, you may tell him, God the Father (in the old Testament) was a God of judgement who sent prophets to talk about Hell. God the Son (in the New Testament) drank with whores and secularists (tax collectors) and spoke of mercy and of self-sacrifice. In the same way, even though you respect his outspoken-ness and his ability to judge, you feel that it is not your place to judge people, but to love them.
In this way, you can both be "in the image of God" as you were created, but you can each do what you feel is best within your path.
Be wary of being too much like your father. You obviously feel uncomfortable with his judgemental nature. Be careful then, that you do not allow that discomfort to make you judgemental towards him. He has many faults, to be sure. You probably do too. (I know I do!) But there is little point in shoving his failures in his face. If you love him, you will do best to explain to him your need to be different from him not by pointing out his faults and your desire to overcome those faults, but by showing him that there are many ways to be good, and that it is normal and right that the son will differ from the father in this way.
Godspeed.
2006-10-19 09:11:50 · answer #4 · answered by threskiorn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say, Dad, I love you. However, I am an adult and as such, I have my own opinions. You raised me well to be an independent person. Thank you for being such a good parent. I hope I can be as good a parent to my (future?) child so that one day I can be disappointed when my child isn't exactly the same as me.
2006-10-18 23:13:48 · answer #5 · answered by Kimberly R 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First Hello: Now remind your dad that everyone has to learn and grow, he is not a carbon copy of his parents. God created us all different just like the snow flakes. There are things in all of us that make us different just like fingerprints, while he may be comfortable with who he has become, does not mean you have become comfortable with it. Remind him(gently) that God is not the author of confusion, but the bringer of peace.love and tolerence for others. The bible teaches us that the only criteria for going to heaven is to believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and we SHALL be saved that's all it takes to go to heaven, and calmly remind him that you are female thereby making you completely different than he is. Christ never judged sinners, he embraced them with love so they could experience him, and then perhaps change their ways, because they wanted to be like him.
2006-10-19 00:11:07 · answer #6 · answered by kaviar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would think what you said to him would make him understand you. You can not be just like him, tell him sorry dad, just no way i can pee standing up LOL Kidding...But there is no way anyone person can be like another, that would make us boring and who we are as individuals make us interesting...
2006-10-18 23:19:08 · answer #7 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
It's true that everyone can't exactly the same even the twin also can't have identically same 100%.
Why you dont like to be like your father, you have to tell to your father. I think if everything is clear, your father also can't force you to be like the same as he is.
Cheers!!
MS
2006-10-18 23:15:12 · answer #8 · answered by Monalisa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Simply tell him you love and respect him and if he loved and respected you, he would let you live your life as you see fit.
2006-10-18 23:13:29 · answer #9 · answered by retrodragonfly 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Let him find out on his own
2006-10-18 23:11:45 · answer #10 · answered by lorenzo p 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋