I got married at a young age. At the age of 18. Please don't tell me that I got married 2 young. I'm now 19 years old and after I got married my husband started to act different. He wants me to 2 spend time with just him. He don't want me to spend time with my friends. He manipulates me. he always accuses me of cheating and always say "please don't leave me." I'm sick of the things that he does. I cry over the things he does at least once a week and he totally stresses me out. When he's around, he distracts me from my school work. Today, I told him that I need some time apart. Do you think that was a good idea or what would you do in this situation.
2006-10-18 15:54:29 · 11 answers · asked by mercedes t 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
it's hard for me to leave him because he's adopted and he says people has left him his whole life, also he is apart of the military and the war of iraq has really messed with his head.
2006-10-19 03:13:47 · update #1
Emotional Abuse...Get out as soon as you can.
2006-10-18 15:56:18 · answer #1 · answered by Erin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In order for someone to change, *(which is very.. very difficult, for grown ups to do) they must know what they have done wrong. If you have told him what upsets you, and he has ignored it, and or not changed it. It means that your feelings do not matter. Well.. in my opinion, you can meet a stranger that can treat you like you and or your feelings don't matter. I think your husband, has some serious insecurities, and you are not going to be able to change how he feels. You can't make someone feel something about themselves, that they don't. Counseling is expensive, if you don't have insurance, and even with insurance, it can still be costly. If you can afford it, I would at least entertain the idea. Or seek out a good church, that gives free counseling. I am a little afraid, now that you have told him that you want time apart, that it will make him more crazy. . I would be advised that this could become a dangerous situation. If at any time, he becomes more aggressive, and or threating, take his threats seriously!! However, I'm not sure how this will work out. It's hard to work on problems when you are not together, but I don't think he is mentally and emotionally able to handle this relationship. Does he have a reason to wonder if you cheated? Or, has he?? Something has changed in your relationship since you got married. He feels threatened for some reason. But, that is usually how abusive relationships go. Abusers wait until they are comfortable in a relationship, before they show their true colors. They are not trying to run the other person off, but they feel like the woman will stay now... that's when it comes out. When, they think you will not leave them. And the more you tolerate it, the more you confirm his belief. Good luck.. keep us posted.
2006-10-18 16:25:14 · answer #2 · answered by junebug 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is trying to control everything that you do. I would have done exactly what you did and told him that I need some time apart and then follow that up by leaving. I fully understand the situation you are in regarding crying over the things that he does and the stress he is causing you as I am in a similar situation.
You need to be able to concentrate on your education as that is what will give you a better life in the long run.
Leave now and move forward - you deserve better.
2006-10-18 16:03:21 · answer #3 · answered by Born a Fox 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All of this is a form of mental abuse. Pity me, pity me. You need to think about you and get out now. He will just get worse and eventually take you away from everything and everyone you love. He does not want you to succeed or have any outside contact, because then you might be able to survive without him. I am telling you from growing up in a household where this was done to my mother. I am 30 now and she left him finally when I was 21. The best thing I can tell you, it get out. Good luck.
2006-10-19 06:49:49 · answer #4 · answered by la_southern_femme 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dnagerous situation. You need to be open with him.Tell him how he's making you feel and give some resonable suggestions as to how he can make you feel better. This would also be a good time to ask him if you are doing anything to upset him. Be completely honest.
2006-10-18 15:59:06 · answer #5 · answered by Devon M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With no kids involved you should get out while you can. Then don't even THINK about remarrying until you are at least in your mid 20's at min!
2006-10-18 15:59:51 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good thing that you stood up for yourself and said that you need some space. Long term....I think you should let him go. He isn't a good influence in your life.
2006-10-18 15:58:57 · answer #7 · answered by chnchita 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why not let him know what is bugging you....talking about things is the best thing and if you cannot work thru it....maybe then think about parting ways
2006-10-18 16:00:29 · answer #8 · answered by thats me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out NOW. It will only get worse.
2006-10-18 17:03:20 · answer #9 · answered by chr1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce him.
2006-10-19 00:24:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋