my daughter and grandchildren in abusive relationship..............THE REST OF THE STORY?

Question

i have tried to help get her out of there and have called the police, every time he has been picked up he gets off, his brother is the deputy sherriff. last time her 2 sister were at her house on mothers day he started to shove her around, my 20 year old grabbed the kids and locked them in the car with her and my other daughter tried to protect mandy and he put her threw the window he called his brother right away and he picked him up and left. My daughters made police reports, mandy dropped hers because she knows that the charges will not hold anymore and he will just beat her worse. but her sister proceeded with hers on court day he lied, his brother lied and he was found NOT GUILTY AGAIN

Answer 1

I'm sow sorry to hear this i don't know why but after reading this i had an idea it may sound risky and weird but it May work how about if your daughter get some of those pills that allot of rapist use to get there victims really sleepy? put the in his diner or drink it can buy you, her and your grand children time to get out to another place were no one know them a different state were there are secret shelter for abuse women and children just get the out of there or if its to much put video cameras and record everything and then leave and get a good layer.

Answer 2

At Sam's club, they have surveillance cameras. They're very small and hard to detect. They also record! Take a collection and get her some of these cameras. Put the recording device somewhere clever. Let the events unfold and go to the District Attorney's office with them and let the DA's office decide what to do.

Also, the next time he starts that crap, take her to the ER. She won't have to go back to that house again!!! They'll see that she's been a victim of abuse for a long time and help. She and the kids won't have to go back there ever again.

Or.....you can pack up their things the next time he's away. Just enough to leave for good without his getting the picture right away. Take them away. Take them into a different county, state, whatever. The police aren't helping you there...there's almost no reason whatsoever to call them.

I wish I had better advice to give you. I'm so sorry. My prayers are with your family. Good luck getting them away from this psycho!!

Answer 3

I guess you're asking what you should do? There really isn't much you can do. It is ultimately your daughters choice of how to live her life, and if she wants to live it like that, then what can you do? Beg her to leave, beg her to stand up for herself, beg her to put her childs welfare and emotions first by getting her out of that living situation? You've probably tried all those. And I'll bet none works. I have a friend that lived in fear like that for years...doesn't matter what anyone said to her or how much anyone offered to help her start over....she always had an excuse NOT to leave him. All I can say is when she gets enough--she'll make the choice...Lets just hope it's before she lets him ruin her life and your grandchildrens! Sorry, I know how helpless you must feel.
Let me add this: If you ever feel your grandchildrens well-being is put at risk by this fighting, or abusiveness, you can always call Childrens Services and report it. They have to investigate and do private interviews if you report possible neglect/abuse. Just keep that in mind. Your daughter is old enough to look out for herself, but children are not. Someone has to look out for them!!

Answer 4

Go to the actual Sheriff Department and complain to the "BIG MAN HIMSELF, The Sheriff" A deputy is not the Sheriff. Demand an internal investigation call the news media yell scream for attention. I had a neighbor whose husband was a deputy and she was in an abusive relationship and she had to go to the top and threaten the whole dept . for not doing anything about this evil person and they fired him and she put a restraining order on him also. God Bless get your daughter and grandkids out while he is not looking ! God Bless.

Answer 5

She needs to pack up her kids and move to a womans shelter in a DIFFERENT COUNTY, seek the help from the profesional staff there, she should also be keeping a diary of all events, threats and abuse, complete with photos. If she will not do this for her own sake, she needs to do this for her kids sake. She needs to seek a personal protection order ASAP to force the law to keep him away from her while a court the his local connections have no ties to can give him what he deserves.

Answer 6

sounds like to me that your county officals need a lot of work, but in the mean time call around to the surrounding counties and see what you can find out. your daughter may have to get him to do something out of that area so that he goes through a differ. sherriffs dept. and you can always catch him on video tape. it's sneaky but not as much as he is violent. i grew up with a abusive father, he always beat my mom up and it took her to standing up to him once for him to stop. my mom left him many times just to come back to something worse so i can understand her view that it will be worse if she does not drop the charges, but if she really went through with it . that might make all the difference. please let me know if i was any help. here is my email if you want to let me know or need someone outside the problem to talk to. unfortunatly i know what you all are going through and would be happy to listen [e-mail] and tell her that it doesn't get better with time and he is not sorry ever time he tells her that after he beats her up

Answer 7

Try to secretly tape record him and his brother, so both of them
will get into trouble. Tell her to get a restraining order against
him when she is all bruised up, that is the evidence. Take picture
of the abuse that she is receiving from him. She can even record
the conversations if possible. And mined you everything is possible if you plan it right. Good luck!! I'm A Mother And A Grand-Mother.

Answer 8

It must really hurt you to see this happening to your children... she should get a divorce, but she has to get full custody of the children. Or you could get video footage. Or flee the country. Marriage counselor? Have the children talk to a teacher. Go to court, he'll get arrested if you have proof. Just don't let her divorce unless she's suret o have full custody, or the children will get hurt during the time with their father.

Answer 9

Men who abuse women will usually not stand up to another man. Get some big man to say enough is enough. If can't get that... try... lawyers, news media, whole family, kkk, etc. but the main thing is your daughter must want out and be brave enough to get out. If not, do whatever you have to against her to get the kid's out.

Answer 10

You should see about moving your daughter and grandchildren to a battered wives home. They will house your daughter and her kids and ensure her safety. Also, you should find a good divorce lawyer for her and file a restraining order against him.