A woman in my college classes was rude to me. So I sent her an e-mail to find out why? Apparently I am loud, overbearing, and I give too much information that apparently nobody wants to hear about. My question is, now that I am aware of this, how do I go about changing myself. I don't like the fact that I drive people away. I am a nice, thoughtful, and a loving person. I am a good mother, I make good grades, in general a decent human being. I raise money for charities, I help elderly people, I like to make people feel good about themselves. But how do I teach myself to keep my big yap shut when I should just be listening?
Keep in mind now, I am in a pretty fragile state of mind right now. And you would be the scum of the earth for kicking me while I'm down...
2006-10-18 13:14:39 · 7 answers · asked by Robin 4 in Social Science ➔ Sociology
eye contact, don't finish someones statement or jump to the solution and reaction before they've finished, maybe their goal is to be heard. Watch others body language and mirror theirs...don't lose yourself (you are unique) but don't be overly hyper if they are low key.
You sending the email was nice, but the other person may have just been letting off steam and made it out to be worse than it was.
2006-10-18 13:26:51 · answer #1 · answered by ladystar 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not always a good thing to see ourselves as others see us inspite of the English poets lament to the contrary. I have had the same problem so I know where you are coming from
Fortunately I have always been a good listener and that sort of compensated for talking too much. So I will say first of all you need to develope good listening skills. Secondly, it would be a good idea to learn why you have a need to flap yo yap. Something inside you yearns for attention I am guessing. And lastly I highly recommend you see you Doctor at once and discuss this with him/her. You sound very depressed and depression is easily cured these days. Your Doctor may also decide you need professional help from a counselor so see your Doc soon.
Smile!! God Loves You!! Love Yourself as Much as God Loves You.
2006-10-18 20:27:45 · answer #2 · answered by barrettins 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep in mind there are different personality types. I'm sure there are people in the group that find your comments entertaining and informative. I suggest a personality test. Do a search based on my link. I worked with this one. First step is to understand what you are like, then what others are like. Then who gets along with who. It gets you assessing what others are like and there a tips on how to get along better with the types.
I am "green" and you are giving hints of being "orange"
2006-10-18 20:43:40 · answer #3 · answered by JuanB 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
From first hand experience, I know that mothers can a lot of times be annoying. If you really have no idea how to control yourself, than I would suggest reminding youself of slowing down and calming your voice often, and usually only speaking when spoken to unless appropriate. I hope that helps.
2006-10-18 20:24:42 · answer #4 · answered by Knight Poop 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know what,What some poeple think is rude,other poeple may think friendly,out going and funny!Maybe she is jealous of you because she lacks those things!Boy she found alot of things wrong with you for not even knowing you,She sounds like she is just a mean -itch!Don,t let her hurt your feelings,Just care about what the poeple that love you think!God bless,hollywood
2006-10-18 20:31:05 · answer #5 · answered by hollywood 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is ONE person's opinion. Do you know if other's feel this way about you? It is who you are. If you are happy with yourself, and you have friends and family who love you then let it go. Those people who don't judge you because you are loud will soon realize that you are nice, thoughtful and loving!
2006-10-18 20:23:57 · answer #6 · answered by sapphire 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Self control... sometimes its better to be quiet and listen to what others have to say... A conversation involves talking and listening... not just you talking... Just be kind and apologize to her... maybe she was having a bad day. Maybe you remind her of someone she dont like. Sometimes people just dont want to be bothered
2006-10-18 20:19:31 · answer #7 · answered by Synkor 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋