I have been w/ my bf for 5 years. I have just graduated from a university and he graduated from a 4 yr trade school. I just moved into a house that he and a friend of his ownes. THey are selling the house in May and my bf and I are moving to the coutry. I want to get married before we buy a house together. He keeps telling me that he wants to marry me "some day". I don't want to keep bringing it up but... What do I do??
2006-10-18 12:46:06 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tell him that you're not moving in with him until you're married, if it matters that much to you. Because once you're living together, he has absolutely no reason for "some day" to ever become "today" - he's already got all the benefits of a spouse without any of the legal complications.
2006-10-18 13:59:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like he's stinging you along. why should he marry you when your already "putting out" for him and are there in more ways than one as a wife is. He's having his cake and eating it too and your wondering "why" he is telling you "someday". If you don't make a stand now, that "someday" will come when you look back as a live-in partner and wonder where the last 20 years have gone and your b/f will be still going, "someday". I dont know your belief stance but Im a Christian woman who's made horrendous mistakes in the past (pre-saved days) and I have finally learnt why sex before marriage is a "no no". If I was a guy and I was getting it all without the marriage being made legal, I'd be laughing Larry. Time for your man to make up his mind, it's now or never.........your life is too important to be thrown away on a "someday"......I mean, really, what or more to the point "When si someday?!!!!!?" Good Luck... :)
2006-10-18 20:47:21 · answer #2 · answered by Linda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd wait a year, and then if he hasn't popped the qstn, start looking around. Depends how important marriage is to you. Why do you want to get married before buying a house together? This is an arbitary position in the relationship. people buy houses together even when they have no relationship interests with the other person out of a business venture.
I would withhold sex (if you're already doing it with him) until you are married.
2006-10-18 20:35:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd say if you have been together 5 years and are talking about buying a house together it's time. Part of being in a relationship is wanting the same things in life, you might want to evaluate that!
2006-10-18 19:50:56 · answer #4 · answered by *~BETHY~* 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sit down with him while the two of you are alone and have the marriage discussion one on one.
Explain to him that you don't want to hear someday, that you're not pushing, but you're afraid to bring it up yet you'd love to get married. Ask him what his exact feelings are so that you can get an idea of how he's really feeling. All you need is honesty and then you'll know!
2006-10-18 20:01:27 · answer #5 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you've been together for 5 years, and he refuses to propose you need to break up with him. He's stringing you along using you as a f uckbuddy. Tell him you're replacing him with a cucumber and the opposing football team- at the same time
2006-10-18 19:58:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well just be honest with him. But know that this is a hard move for guys. It took my fiance four years to finally ask me. He was so nervous and he knew for sure that I would say yes. Guys! Anyway, try randomly pointing out rings that you like and where he can get them, worked for me?!
2006-10-18 19:56:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he not in a hurry to get married and would rather livde with you than be married to you.
If you really want to be married give him the shock treatment and say you are looking for a place of your own. If he finally makes up his mind, he can give you a call.
Just don't stop your life for him.
2006-10-18 19:51:19 · answer #8 · answered by LVieau 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Five years is a long time and while I give you kudos for waiting until you graduated I think it is about time don't you? You have to think about it are you investing all this time because it is comfortable? And are you willing to wait another five years or even longer for "someday"
2006-10-18 20:19:42 · answer #9 · answered by Sara R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say make what you want very clear either get what you want or move on....if you were the one for him he would buy a ring to keep you!!
2006-10-18 19:53:39 · answer #10 · answered by liyah's mommy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋