Am I wrong about insisting that my 13 year old son keep his hair short and neat?

Question

I just have this thought that teen boys with long hair give off the impression that they are punks,or involved in gangs and drugs. I know this is not always the case but in my opinion it does give people the wrong impression. Think about it, how many honor roll,smart, well disciplined kids do you see with long hair?

Answer 1

You're not wrong, but you're not correct either. As long as its neat and clean a 13 year old should be allowed to at least control that part of himself. Hair is such a trival concern. And at that age they are trying to figure out who they are.

As my mama told me, pick your battles. Would you rather waste engery fighting him over hair or drugs? Smoking? Unsafe sex? Being friends with gang members? If every little thing about him is picked at and criticisized, he will be less likely to respond to the matters that are important.

I've known people with close cropped hair who don't even wash it!

I've included a link I recalled from Dear Abby which pertains to your question. I hope this helps.

Answer 2

Yes. you are wrong for stifiling your child. At 13 children are beginning to learn who they are and what they like. He will go through a thousand phases when it comes to his image. He probably wont even keep his hair long for very long.

And secondly, you are wrong for holding on to such a stereotype. I was in Advance Placement Honors classes throughout junior high and High school, and many of the males in my class had long hair. It is not the hair the matters, but the mind that is under it. Let your son be his own person on this matter...

Answer 3

Do you know this? You can't really force anyone to do anything they don't want to do.

I imagine some will say this is free will.

Besides that, I shared the responsibility of raising a son. He had long hair when he was young. So did I. I don't now and neither does he.

The most important thing I can tell you is that you have the responsibility to teach your child. Teach your child how to respect his or her self and to respect others as well. You have the responsibility to teach your child to both live with dignity and to treat others with dignity.

If you succeed in doing this you will add great value to our world.

Your child will add great value to our world.

Hair length has nothing to do with any of this.

Answer 4

The real danger of this is when he does get out on his own he might try and make up for lost time. Maybe what you need to do is try and come to a compromise with him and allow him to be his own person without looking like a gang member or a stoner.

Answer 5

If all you have to worry about is the length of the hair, consider yourself lucky. Dr. Phil mentioned on one of his shows that we have to pick out battles, and the length of the hair is not one of the important ones.
As for what kind of kids (and adults) have long hair, engineers, computer nerds, musicians, artists; many of whom are on the honor roll, or have above intelligence.

Answer 6

It's not the hair, hair isn't important. It is completely about the attitude and the mannerisms of these kids. My son, the honor student, asked about growing his hair out, and this was my answer ...

I don't care if you grow out your hair, but you have to keep it neat and clean at all times. When you come to my table for a meal, your hair will be pulled back out of your face. If you can't accept those terms, then you need to get a haircut.

So far, he's kept his hair cut. :)

Answer 7

i % to start by using announcing that bullying isn't suitable by using any ability. regrettably there is not any longer lots you're able to do approximately those undesirable youngsters. My concern could be Why is your newborn being bullied? what's it that's making those youngsters bully him/ i think of that beside attempting to stop those youngsters, you apart from could could desire to artwork on your newborn's social skills. If he's becoming to be a objective, there's a possiblity that he's lacking from social skills. youngsters the two settle for or reject different youngsters into their social communities. in the event that they are reject it may be for many reasons. If he's being observed as a strange or a freak, you could desire to make certain why...i'm sorry to demonstrate the subject in this way, yet I basically % you to comprehend the oter fringe of the coin so which you will locate ideas... with reference to the college, and the college district, they could in basic terms supply you recommendations straight away particular on your newborn. If there has been any effects related to the different youngsters, you may desire to no longer be in contact with that... now and returned existence is bigoted, and the only subject you're able to do is guard your love ones...you could desire to artwork straight away with him...

Answer 8

G'day Tah,

Thank you for your question.

I understand what you are saying in that you want your son to look the part. You need to speak with him and make sure that he understands your concerns and you understand him.

You don't want him rebelling against you as many teenagers do. You might be able to come up with a solution that you may both be happy with.

Regards

Answer 9

Not really....okay, sort of. Let him do what he wants with his hair, it's not necessarily indicative of involvement in a gang or drugs.

Answer 10

yes you should let him wear his hair any way as long as he keeps it presentable combed , clean that way.. cuz if you are hard on him about that he can rebel and do worse.. its ok to let him find himself who knows he may grow long hair and hate it and want it short its shouldnt be a big issue..just be involved and make sure he stays a good kid thats what counts...