My wife and I planned to start trying for our first baby in January. She has been asking me to start sooner since she has been wanting one for 2 years now.
So, we talked yesterday and I told her I would like to start trying now too and I thought she should not take birth control after her current pack and if she gets pregnant earlier than January then it will be great. She got nervous about starting now and said she wanted to wait until January for the following reasons:
1.The interior of our house is being painted next month and she wants it done before conceiving.
2. If she gets pregnant earlier than January then the baby will be born before her 24th birthday and she wants to be 24 when her 1st baby is born. (Maybe it sounds better than being a mom at 23??)
3. And her most important reason: she wants to lose at least 15 lbs before getting pregnant (She is 5'8" 160 lbs right now)
What do you think of her reaction?
2006-10-18 12:18:24 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds to me like she is having second thoughts. That is not a bad thing. The longer you wait the more prepared you will be for your new arrival.
Having a baby takes time, patients, and lots of money. You didn't mention whether or not she works. This could also complicate things.
Maybe she is not ready to give up her freedom. Rightfully so, since she is only 23. You didn't mention your age either. Her ovaries aren't going to dry up in the next year.
Go buy some books about child care and commit yourself you reading them every day, because once you have a child you can't go back. If you are sick of reading the books over and over again, just wait until you have changed that diaper over and over again. Then the baby is always sick or spitting up or hungry or cranky.
Listen carefully to what your wife is saying. Perhaps she is just not ready to share you yet!
Good luck!
2006-10-18 12:29:02 · answer #1 · answered by onemelbgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think getting pregnant is a scary proposition. My husband and I tried for two years before I became pregnant. We even had some tests done after the first year. So, we were thrilled when I finally got pregnant. Then I panicked. Am I ready to be a mom? How do I know how to take care of a helpless infant? She was set on January (which is, after all, right around the corner). None of her reasons are important. (Latex paint fumes won't hurt if she's pregnant, she doesn't need to lose weight she should just eat healthy now and one she becomes pregnant, being a mom at 23 or 24, no matter). Just give her time. Best of luck.
2006-10-18 12:26:42 · answer #2 · answered by butrcupps 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well... I think she may be scared.
Something else to take into consideration though. She may not get pregnant right after stopping the pill and you might want to ask the doctor but it may not even be safe to do so.
I was on a type of birth control and got pregnant within the month after I stopped using it. I guess enough of the medicine was still in my body that I had a miscarriage during the 3 month.
I think she is just scared because I don't see what the painting of the house has to do with her conceiving unless she is concerned about the paint fumes.
The weight is a typical issue for a woman.. especially if she is weight conscious.
But.. what can you do about it... just reassure her that you love her the way she is and you are ready whenever she is.
2006-10-18 12:25:15 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I hate to say it but she was probably on a "baby high" when you guys were agreeing that you wanted to get started on expanding your family....
Then she probably had a reality check. Having a baby, she realizes, is going to change her focus, and completely change her body. She's probably worried about how she will look and feel during and after being pregnant.
I know that idea has popped into my head more than once, too, regarding having a baby. I hope you can see how reasonable it is that she's apprehensive on some levels.
If you talk about it and come to a new conclusion, help her feel "ready" by getting that house stuff out of the way. What pregnant woman is going to want to deal with the smell of fresh paint in addition to all the other sensitivities she'll have?
2006-10-18 20:12:24 · answer #4 · answered by RoseRed 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having a child is a huge step, and now that it is actually going to happen, she is nervous. That's understandable.
Be patient and gentle with her. She waited 2 years for you to agree, so now you can wait a while.
If she wants to lose some weight before conceiving, that's always a good thing to be at the peak of fitness. Start doing exercise together, and by January you will both be healthy and happy; the best place to be to make a baby. Good luck!
2006-10-18 12:23:11 · answer #5 · answered by thecurles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think all those reasons are valid, and january's not very far away! It's so important that she start taking folic acid right now, and even a multivitamin or prenatal vitamin. You should encourage her to do these things right away! The couple extra months could be really good for both of you. If you have some bad habits, or need to learn to eat better, you could do these things together in the months before she conceives. Also, you could figure out a new financial plan for yourselves that works for your growing family. If she needs dental work, she'll need to have it done before the second trimester anyway, so better do it now before she's pregnant! All in all, I think you can find some very important and productive things to keep you busy in preparation for the pregnancy. It sounds like you're eager to get started now, but you can get started on being a great parent before she even conceives!
2016-03-28 00:58:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
From her point of view it must look good. I can see her reason make sense as she will gain a lot of weight while pregnant, and the lighter she is the healthier she will be during pregnancy.
Evidently she wants the baby to be born on her even birthday(when she is 26 the baby is 2.) year. All of my children, me and my wife was born on even years, the kids two yrs a part. Makes sense to me.
I think any woman would want to get remodeling especially painting out of the way before becoming pregrant and smelling those fumes. She'll be sick soon enough with out any help.
2006-10-18 12:32:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think a baby is the most important decision you take and nothing matter when you really wants a baby the birthday the weight the date doesn't care remember that you think probably being pregnant the day you want but probably you have to wait for months i think she doesn´t want to be a mother yet think a bout it its an important decision good luck
2006-10-18 12:34:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like your wife is very nervous about starting a family and the excuses that she gave you says it all!you two should really communicate more about becoming new parents this obviously scares the hell out of her
i'm sure that she loves you and she wants to have your child/children but maybe not just yet.
if you really love her then maybe wait a little while longer before you start a family if you rush her to become a parent before she is ready then think about the type of parent she may become if SHE is not ready....be patient.
good luck!
2006-10-18 12:30:45 · answer #9 · answered by meka9374 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she could just be nervous but i do think u should wait till you are done painting before conciving, but you should just let her take her time, i mean this is a really big desision for her, its really hard to understand because if she gets pregnate there are alot of things that could go wrong, and also being pregnate just plain old hurts
2006-10-18 12:30:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋