My wife and I planned to start trying for our first baby in January. She has been asking me to start sooner since she has been wanting one for 2 years now.
So, we talked yesterday and I told her I would like to start trying now too and I thought she should not take birth control after her current pack and if she gets pregnant earlier than January then it will be great. She got nervous about starting now and said she wanted to wait until January for the following reasons:
1.The interior of our house is being painted next month and she wants it done before conceiving.
2. If she gets pregnant earlier than January then the baby will be born before her 24th birthday and she wants to be 24 when her 1st baby is born. (Maybe it sounds better than being a mom at 23??)
3. And her most important reason: she wants to lose at least 15 lbs before getting pregnant (She is 5'8" 160 lbs right now)
What do you think of her reaction?
2006-10-18 12:12:10 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
It sounds as she may be having some doubts or fears about being a Mom and is delaying starting a family.
2006-10-18 12:20:17 · answer #1 · answered by aliciarox 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think getting pregnant is a scary proposition. My husband and I tried for two years before I became pregnant. We even had some tests done after the first year. So, we were thrilled when I finally got pregnant. Then I panicked. Am I ready to be a mom? How do I know how to take care of a helpless infant? She was set on January (which is, after all, right around the corner). None of her reasons are important. (Latex paint fumes won't hurt if she's pregnant, she doesn't need to lose weight she should just eat healthy now and one she becomes pregnant, being a mom at 23 or 24, no matter). Just give her time. Best of luck.
2016-03-28 00:57:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think all those reasons are valid, and january's not very far away!
It's so important that she start taking folic acid right now, and even a multivitamin or prenatal vitamin. You should encourage her to do these things right away!
The couple extra months could be really good for both of you. If you have some bad habits, or need to learn to eat better, you could do these things together in the months before she conceives. Also, you could figure out a new financial plan for yourselves that works for your growing family.
If she needs dental work, she'll need to have it done before the second trimester anyway, so better do it now before she's pregnant!
All in all, I think you can find some very important and productive things to keep you busy in preparation for the pregnancy. It sounds like you're eager to get started now, but you can get started on being a great parent before she even conceives!
2006-10-18 12:40:06 · answer #3 · answered by Emily O 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is actually at a healthy weight for her height. If she gets severe morning sickness, she could loose some weight, and she wouldn't want to loose so much her body can't handle the pregnancy.
As long as she isn't painting the house, it should be fine.
As for her age, I'm a 21 year old mom. It's better than a 13yr old mom!!!
Tell her that it might take a while to conceive, especially if she's on BC pills. It will probably take a few months to conceive anyway.
Good luck!
2006-10-18 12:21:12 · answer #4 · answered by Laura R 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Reasons 1 and 3 sound pretty legitimate by themselves. Is it possible that she feels insecure/unsure about whether or not you are both ready to become parents? I don't know why else her age would matter at this point. Back to the losing weight issue, the most important thing is for her to have a healthy diet and regular exercise before and during pregnancy.
2006-10-18 12:23:36 · answer #5 · answered by bitchenbrod 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to be on the same page at times but having a child is a lifelong commitment. I she is not ready don't rush her. I know she probably got your hopes up but if she has it when she's not ready she will most likely be a mess. It's much better for the both of you to feel comfortable about a decision like this. At least you know why she wants to wait..in the long run the wait will be worth the payoff!
Good Luck!
2006-10-18 12:26:39 · answer #6 · answered by Shelly7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not uncommon to find reasons to not want something you have wanted for so long. Especially a pregnancy. it can be a scary thing to realize that you will be responsible for a little baby. Responsible for a life that you will have to raise into a respectable person. Her reasons may seem silly to you right now but be patient with her. This is a big decision for the 2 of you to make. Maybe ask her if that is the only thing bothering her. you might find that she is just feeling a little overwhelmed all of a sudden and needs to come to terms with the seriousness of the situation.
Honestly I wish more people would have thought about their decision to bring a baby into this world. maybe we would have a few less children sad and abandoned by people who fell in love with the idea of a baby. Not realizing that they would have to make a commitment to that child for the rest of their life.
Just be there for her and be understanding. that is what your wife needs right now.
2006-10-18 12:22:21 · answer #7 · answered by lil_love1982 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think she is right having a baby will change both of your lives.It is better to get everything out of the way first.AS no time for anything in the first few months. As to waiting until her next birthday does'nt matter how old she will be as long as she will be a good mum. she should loss the weight as i was a bit big before i a was pregnant and i had high blood pressure and had a bad time having my first child. but good luck as it changes your life for the good....
2006-10-18 12:20:53 · answer #8 · answered by amanda e 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think that these reasons are bull crap why would she want to lose 15lbs before getting prego when she is going to gaun it back?The house being painted will not hurt her if she is prego it should be finished before the baby is born.Her age should not be a concern it does not matter if she is 23 or 24 how whould it look better if she was 24 instead of 23 she is married It sounds like she is haveing second thoughts about it is your marrage okay or are you haveing problems because something is gping on do you think there is someone else
2006-10-18 12:25:56 · answer #9 · answered by mcdanieljoanie 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
it sounds like she is thinking ahead and wants to make sure everything will be perfect before conceiving. Nothing wrong with that.
It's only a few more months so, it'll go by really fast.
2006-10-18 12:26:05 · answer #10 · answered by cee cee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋