My best friend has let her son go to his Grandads funeral, he is 8. I think this is too young, but was she wrong?
2006-10-18 11:22:42 · 17 answers · asked by twixlicker 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
This is a Q. for which there can be no general answer.
Much depends upon the relationship of the child to the individual who has died, their understanding of death, their level of grief, their religious knowledge/upbringing.
Whenever someone/thing (including pets) dies whom the child knows it is an ideal teaching opportunity to explain to a child exactly what has happened in a way in which they can understand. This helps prepare them for the future when they have to face the death of a relative.
The most important thing is to discuss it with the child involved and listen to what they have to say and what their wishes are. They may well like to say their own goodbye in which case to deny them the opportunity could possibly cause more challenges to be addressed.
Hope this helps.
2006-10-18 11:30:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Children are all different, but i think the main thing is the spiritual/religous leanings of the parents. If a family has taught about heaven and things like that, then death isn't nearly as scary for a child, if the child is unsure of what happens at death then maybe it's a good idea to not hit them with it all at once. My son was 5 when he went to my mother's funeral, my mother had been ill with cancer and we'd talked to him about it so he had a point of view on what was going to happen after death. If a child has a healthy understanding of death, whatever the religous beliefs of the family, then there's no reason to not allow them to say goodbye to a loved one like anyone else. Just because they don't go to the funeral it doesn't mean they won't feel grief and it is healthy to get some kind of closure by seeing the funeral and then the grieving process can begin.
2006-10-18 18:33:29 · answer #2 · answered by THE BULB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the child. Some children would freak out at 14, others may be able to take it in their stride at a much earlier age. I would have thought that an eight year old would want to attend his granddad's funeral if they were close. The parents are the only ones who could make this judgement.
2006-10-18 19:21:32 · answer #3 · answered by Sylvia L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No its not too young, death happens in families and as sad as it is the sooner you take a child to a funeral the better, you can't hide from it or cover it up forever, children are a heck of a lot more resilient than they are given credit for, its easier than trying to explain to why they will never see that person again and better than saying they have just gone to heaven, if they see if with their own eyes they will understand it and not be confused either.
2006-10-18 19:12:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
HI personally i don't think it is wrong. my dad died when my son was 9 i told him that his grandad had gone 2 heaven and i asked him if he wanted to go to the funeral to say goodbye to his grandad and he said yes i think that it is good that the child went to the funeral and had a chance to say goodbye to his loved one
2006-10-18 18:29:21 · answer #5 · answered by applesquirt04 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's up to the child and how they handle the situation, some of them would like to say goodbye. Personally I remember getting asked if i wanted to go to my grandmothers funeral when i was about that age. I said no and have regretted it since.
2006-10-18 18:24:45 · answer #6 · answered by Travellin Bry 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that is an entirely personal decision based on the wishes of the child concerned and their relationship with the deceased. There really can't be a right or wrong answer to this question.
2006-10-18 18:28:25 · answer #7 · answered by Daisy Artichoke 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you need to so the child can say goodbyei have been to a few in the family when i was very young 9 when nan died an i so glad i was allowed to go it ment i knew she was not going to be back if that makes sense to you instead of people telling kids they have just gone away for a while or there on a cloud or in the sky that does not help you think they are coming back
2006-10-18 18:24:56 · answer #8 · answered by kitten 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think she was wrong. I went to my first funeral when I was 4 and it helped me to get over it.
2006-10-18 18:29:07 · answer #9 · answered by i luv teh fishes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, she wasn't. It would be wrong to exclude this child - he knows he's lost his grandad, and this is the family's farewell of which he should be a part.
2006-10-18 18:30:10 · answer #10 · answered by Jill 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋