As a senior, would it be better for me to move or stay where I am?

Question

I lost my husband three years ago, and couldn't bear to stay in the town we lived in, so I moved to a town that I had lived in before I met him. I've been here three years now, but find it difficult to make friends here, even though I know most of the people. This has only been a problem since he died. I love my house, and the neighborhood, and I'm told that it is like this everywhere now because people tend to isolate themselves.

Do you think that people are more isolated now, what with TV, the Internet and solitary interests?

Answer 1

Well i feel for you. Do you go to the senior center? church? do you have family near? A busy mind helps ease the pain, but only time will heal the wound. Stay where you are at and give it some more time.

Answer 2

Losing your husband was a massive life change in itself. It is important to find a life for yourself now, which IS difficult because
not having your husband by your side your life will be very different.

You moved very soon after the death of your husband, understandably, but moving is also a life change. All this will be
affecting how you feel even though it is 3 years on.

I don't know if there are any clubs you can join in your area - maybe you should consider this. It's a way of really getting to know people.

Remember also, that you are seeing the world through different eyes now perhaps you thought going back to a town where you used to live would bring a sense of comfort and now that it hasn't THIS is what is making you feel so sad.

People are more isolated these days, I feel, but THAT could be the key to finding new friends - you see there are many people searching for the same as you.

Go to your local library if you live in the UK, they have lists of all the things going on in your area and take that first brave step back into life. I'm not saying it will be easy but the benefits will come.

Best wishes.

Answer 3

Stay where you are. It takes a little time, especially in small towns. You write you like your house and neighborhood.

Yes, people are becoming more isolated from direct human contact, and this is a bad thing. HOWEVER, you are not bound to this fate. Find things that are interest to you, and take part in them. The result of the isolation, has been more social centers and activity centers. The typical answer is church, but there are also so many alternatives. You may also volunteer for some youth activities as an adult worker, because young people's schedules are overloaded with a wide variety of activities. Pick a field where your strengths can contribute to volunteerism. It is quite rewarding, although in terms other than financial.

As you become more active and involved in things you like to do, you will find yourself making friendships. It just takes a little time. Get involved.

Good luck to you, it is still a wonderful world out there.

Answer 4

I'm sorry for your loss. I think you are still grieving and that could be the reason why you're having difficulty making friends. Are you involved in any groups or have any hobbies? That might be a good way for you to meet some friends. Some people isolate themselves but the majority of people enjoy socializing and making friends. I wish you all the best.

Answer 5

I moved away also, but found out the pain goes with you, the state where I'm living now, is so different from my home state, yes people are so busy making a living, trying to make ends meet and raising there families, only began to realize, I'm not there problem to solve, when my husband was alive, we like these people had our life, finding out, we just have to start over again and find ourselves and that which makes us happy.Wish you the best

Answer 6

Stay where you are.

Answer 7

stay where you are
yes