He started being angry towards her when she lost her job and gained 10 pounds (up to 112lbs). He has pushed her, berated her, made things so nasty at home that her 12yr daughter moved out, and in with her father to escape the arguing that was often directed at the kids....He was fiscally irresponsible - didn't pay ANY bills one by one the utilities were shut off. He finally moved out, just walked away from all responsibiity - and the kids. She had to borrow $$$$ so the bank wouldn't foreclose. She finally had to sell the house. He took his half, she used hers to repay loans from friends .... now he comes around, has a few beers, they have some fun, she loves it - and him, then she doesn't hear from him for weeks, and neither do the kids. All the while - he thinks he has done nothing wrong! He blames her for his friends not respecting him. She had no hot H20, nofridge, no dryer, no Gas, no phone, no TV - with kids. He is shameless - his friends saw itand were disgusted with him.
2006-10-18 10:24:38 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Help her find a really good counselor. Try to keep her busy. She needs a strong support group to get the heck away from that loser. At least she has you as a friend to care, just do what you would want her to do for you if you were in her situation. We all can be so blind when the truth is right in front of us.
2006-10-18 10:31:57 · answer #1 · answered by Carey L 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
for the reason that your not probable optimistic how this chum feels approximately you it quite is now up interior the air. What you describe he must be in simple terms asking you because of the fact he needs help in those factors. Him calling you spouse, ought to easily be a slip of the tounge. you're close and he's by utilising himself. He won't of gotten over being single. His spouse probable took care of those issues and now he's lost. wait and see if he starts off hitting on then you definately you definately'll no for optimistic. it quite is worth a while to work out, as he's a physically powerful chum.
2016-11-23 18:12:01 · answer #2 · answered by guiteres 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well all i think you can do is be there for her and if she's gonna let him do this to her only she can stop it. She'll wake up in time but i think she's afraid of being alone without a man she needs to realise theres others out there but at the moment she won't as she needs a cut of point from him as she knows he'll come round when he needs her but all he does is use her as he knows she's there and adores him and uses that against her, i'd of thought that having her child walkaway would do the trick and with the way she's had to cope alone. plus with him being horrible to the children would make her realise what he's like but she's hooked has anyone tried talking to her and getting her to see without the rose tinted specs? but i think end of the day she's a lost cause til she sorts it out.
2006-10-18 10:39:36 · answer #3 · answered by sez75 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Then he obviously didn't understand the for better or worse vow. But, she did. But, seriously a husband is suppose to take care of his family, not abandoned them. Do an intervention with her surrounding the people that cares about her. Ask her kids, how they think of the situation if they are old enough to understand. But, more importantly, be there for her. Her eyes will open us soon enough to the entire picture. I'm sincerely sorry for what she is going through.
2006-10-18 10:39:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been on both sides of this. This answer will probably frustrate you, but my advice is - there is nothing you can do. She has to realize what a LOSER he is on her own. The best thing you can do is reserve judgement and continue being her friend. That way, when she (finally) does realize and want to get out, she will know she can come to you.
2006-10-18 14:39:36 · answer #5 · answered by abranch98 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may just have to burst the bubble-she is obviously not looking at reality. Take her around where other people are acquainted with who he is and she will probably get a different picture of him painted for her. It is usually people who are not involved who can have the most impact on a person in a situation such as this.
2006-10-18 10:43:14 · answer #6 · answered by Madeamove 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to take her and stand her in front of a mirror. Tell her to look herself... does she see who she is becoming? Say something like this to her; Do you see yourself? This beautiful woman that is losing repsect for herself and allowing a man to bring her down to hit rock bottom. You don't love yourself. You've allowed him to destroy your confidence, ruin everything you owned, allowed him to put you in a financial slump, and to abuse you in all the ways a person can be abused.
She has to evaluate the lifestyle she's living... only she can see the damage he's done and is continuing to do.
Ask her why is she allowing a man to ruin her life and still accepting him back. If he wasn't a bad man his friends would still like them, she needs to see why they don't like him anymore... because of his actions, his behavior.
Inform her that you'll always be there for her but that you think she needs to get some financial aid and some help. If she gets counseling, she'll most likely come to her senses. Explain to her that you don't mean any of it in a negative way towards her but that you have her best interest at heart and only want to help her.
2006-10-18 11:20:24 · answer #7 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow!! He really needs to have his A.S.S beat...She really needs to wake up and leave him. Get herself together and move on. Waiting for him to come around isn't going to happen. Especially when he has already done all that crap to her. She needs to think about her kids and move on with there lives and get rid of him all together! Her kids are the ones getting hurt in all this together right now. Not her. It's all the kids. If she doesn't realize that then she is just plain stupid!
2006-10-18 10:30:21 · answer #8 · answered by Bella Trinity 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just be her friend she has to come to terms on her on. Maybe now is not the time for her to let go, she has to be strong enough to leave and maybe right now she is not. Just be there for her and don't push she may hate you in the end.
2006-10-18 10:30:03 · answer #9 · answered by Blondie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why didn't she go get another job an help out with things before they got so out of hand? in this day an age , it takes two to make ends meet. he is so mean to her anyway , she just needs to book! while all the domino's have fallen! make a fresh start of it all.
2006-10-18 10:29:44 · answer #10 · answered by kierstead 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋