What do I do?

Question

I have this mate.... we've been best mates since we were really young and have stuck by each other since.
Lately she feels the urge to rebel and go off smoking pot and crap and getting drunk. Only the other week she ran round the whole village completely topless and had the police after her, when they got her she got searched, but luckily she gave her stuff to her druggie pals so she got away. She's been my only best friend for the whole of my life and i have never been that great with socialising, I've always thought i'd be okay only having one best mate since thats all i've ever needed, but now shes moved on i feel like theres nothing left for me to hold on to. You may think i'm over-reacting but if you knew how close our bond was you'd realise what a shame it is that this whole friendship has gone down the plug hole so quickly. i'm just asking for any sorta advice in which ways i can improve my socialising and the hope to have my best mate back? I'm not as young as you think btw.

Answer 1

One thing, its natural to feel like this. You have been let down in a big way and its a bit like grieving but you will, in time, be able to move on. Its up to you but you can "be there" for her when she falls but don't become a crutch for her. I'm sure in time she will see how much you have meant to her.
In the mean time, if she can do it, that is get new friends, then you can. Get yourself out there, do things you enjoy even take the bull by the horns and try something different. I don't mean putting yourself out as a party animal, your shy and shyness can be overcome. Just push yourself a little bit. It will work.
Your a sensitive and loyal friend. People like you are thought of highly by a lot of people, you just have to be found. I know it won't be long before you are.
If your friend comes back to you then fine but if she doesn't then its her loss and put it down as an experience. Good luck sweetheart!

Answer 2

Awwww. Poor thing. I think you ought to talk to her and remind her of the "good old days" if you like. Perhaps you could suggest doing the things you both really liked again. I don't think it would be a good idea to blurt it straight out that it's all down to the drugs that she has changed etc because that sounds accusing and would most certainly hurt her. If she gets all shifty and dodges and changes the subject, I would say she is probably beyond your control. If this is the case, I'm sorry. Drugs really do mess people up inside. I'm not suggesting you completely shut her out of your life however. If it is that the drugs are like, poisoning her love for you, one day (hopefully) she'll realise this and come running back to you, and it will be your love she wants back. I reckon in the most private bit of her gut she knows which side of her bread is buttered but her druggie pals are masking it. I hope this helps.

Answer 3

I think maybe you should leave your friend to do what she wants to do! Don't get involved in what she is doing otherwise you may end up getting into trouble yourself! I'm not saying forget your friendship..just keep your distance for a while, and she may calm down!
As for your socialising, you need to maybe find yourself a hobbie, a course of some kind, an evening one maybe if you work during the day! Places where people have the same interests as you! Join a sports club, craft, gym.....etc
Hope this helps xx

Answer 4

Your mate has moved on to something else (I know it's not ideal, but it's her life after all), and I think you kind of should think about doing that too - no, I don't mean you should carry on the same way as her, I mean you should try and make some new friends. She's been your best mate forever, but people change. You have to accept that.

Answer 5

why not try talk to her when she is drug freeand sober and if she is not willing to change then dump her you are obvisoly a good friend and should not find it hard to get new mates, at the end of the day yuo have to decide if you need the hassle of being with her and not know what she might do, put yourself first you are number one and always remember that if it was a boyfriend you would dump him

Answer 6

There is really nothing you can do. You are being a friend to her but she isn't being one to you. I've been in that situation before, and I had no choice but to turn my back on her. You have to think about you and your feelings. If she doesn't care about you or value your friendship, the she doesn't deserve your friendship at all.

Once she finds her solid footing, she will realize what type of friend that she lost and had in you.

Answer 7

I had this happen to me. I decided that, as hard as it was, I didn't need a bad influence like that in my life. I was also pretty shy. I made friends with other people and involved myself more in things I was interested in. Those activities and new friends really boosted my confidence. Hang in there and keep your chin up.

Answer 8

Try looking at her life and work out why she has turned that way.
Maybe shes hurting or missing something or just bored. Ask her, find something you both want to do and take it from there.

Answer 9

try talking to her and tell her how you feel. if you work why not try arranging a night out with people from there. hope your friend comes to her sense though

Answer 10

try telling her you miss the way she use to be or get other friends