Here is the thing, I met him 5 years ago, He was madly in love with me after 3 years I was the one who broke the relationship because I just did'nt feel he was the one for me. He was really hurt that time. During we were talking as freinds all the time. Now a year ago when i met him i really felt that he really loved me before and i was the one who did the mistake so i really start pushing him to marry me or get back togther. And i was in deeply love with him. First he told me he is not ready now, and we are just freinds. Then recenlty he came to see me in june and since then he decided for me and now he wants to marry me. But what I feel is now is he is doing because of me, every time i talk to him some how he tells me that he is doing this for me. Feelings are just not strong. I need to know what to do i dont want to lose him again because this is going to be froever thing but on the other hand i feel this is just a mistake since he dont love me the way he use to. please help
2006-10-18 09:56:58 · 33 answers · asked by Alisha 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It's a simple answer...
If you're having any doubts at all, don't do it.
2006-10-18 09:58:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It might be that what you are thinking is completely wrong...it might be that this time around, he isnt being as emotional, because he was so deeply hurt last time, that he doesnt want to go through the emotional trauma again...so maybe he's learnt to control his feelings and after marriage he'll show his strong emotions like before, because he will know that you wont leave him like you did before
HOWEVER, it might be that he is now getting the feeling that you were not the one for him...like you said, he keeps saying that he's doing this for you, so it might be that he's trying not to hurt you.....so the best thing you can do is TALK TALK AND TALK
Ask him about his real feelings: after all, marriage is an important and life-changing decision, and you have to know how the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with feels
Good Luck...hope everything turns out the way you want to
2006-10-18 10:02:49 · answer #2 · answered by Angel_like 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His 1st love for you may have been just physical. This time he is maybe combining his "commitment to you" ( I love you) together with his need to settle down with someone that he could live with. I'm not against 2 people living together that really like each other - One thing for sure - he doesn't truely love you - you would feel the difference - love is like a wave of passion over you (from him) - unstoppable - crashing on you - you have to decide to marry someone that only likes you a lot - that's not so bad - saves a lot of serious mood swings - but are you willing to forego the real thing - LOVE.
2006-10-18 10:07:07 · answer #3 · answered by smarty1533 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rather then jumping into a marriage, renew your relationship so you can give him time to love you the way he used to.
The two of you need to go out on dates; movies, dinners, picnics, anything and everything that is romantic. You both need to communicate with one another and be there for eachother. After a few months, then you can make your decision if he shows he does love you like before or if the relationship isn't worth saving.
2006-10-18 10:03:07 · answer #4 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time does change someone especially after a heartache like that. Definitely need to talk to him about this one and you both need to take your time. He could be still holding back affraid that you might leave again. If it's love it'll work with time but if you are both trying to rush things without having everything out in the open it's bound to cause some problems. Best wishes.
2006-10-18 10:02:39 · answer #5 · answered by janet_67_1998 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok this question is irritating. you are making excuses. if you want to marry this guy then marry this guy. if you feel that he's feelings for you are not strong like they use to then they probably are not. i mean you rejected him and now you want him. and if you aren't sure about his feelings for you then just ask. i mean that is not hard. i don't understand why people just don' t open there mouths and ask the person that they need to know about. you are in love with him so you say so marry the man i don't see the problem. yes it is forever. are you willing to stay with him forever. i mean we are strangers we can't make that decision for you. and also once you do marry it's gauranteed that there are going to be problems. that's any marriage. the question is are you two going to be able to work through the problems or are you going to plow through it . that's the key being able to plow through it no matter what.
2006-10-18 10:04:12 · answer #6 · answered by mdbdyot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move on, girl! i had that before. I told my ex to marry me when we still together, 4 years, he said he was scared and not ready. So i broke up with him coz he can't even tell me when he is going to be ready. So after 6 months he called me and wants to get back together again, he said he was ready to marry me. After that agony of crying and arguing before the split up and after the split up, he will come back like now its ok to marry me. Why now? because he realized? if i were you just find a new man. I also think about what if's? but change is good. trust me. goodluck!
2006-10-18 10:09:24 · answer #7 · answered by sure_whatever_29 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are having second thoughts then do not do it no matter what pressures you feel. My first marriage lasted less than a year (she cheated on me) I remember sitting in a chair just before walking into the ceremony and thinking "am I doing the right thing", if not for the church full of friends and family, I would have called it off.
2006-10-18 10:00:17 · answer #8 · answered by Got2seeit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you feel such a need to get married to him? If you don;t feel you are ready but don't want to lose him...why don't you just keep dating until you know? Its not like you only have two choices: break up or get married. Just keep your relationship how it is, or maybe move in together and see how that works before you make any rash decisions either way.
2006-10-18 10:00:50 · answer #9 · answered by EllisFan 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, if you have doubts.........DON'T MARRY HIM!!!! Here is what's going to happen if you marry him. You will marry him and soon after you wil have kids with him. You will end up having a VERY unhappy marriage (because you had doubts of marriage in the first place) and you will end up leaving him because you need to find someone who you REALLY want to spend your life with. Now, your kid(s) will end up with a broken home, and used as more of a asset than a vital part of your family. Bottom line, DON'T MARRY HIM!!!!
2006-10-18 10:04:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marry him and I think he loves you.
He must be hurt because you rejected him the first time and he just wants to like tell you that you are the one who is wanting him now.
Poor fellow. If he isn't loving you then he would have said no.
Good luck and have a happy married life
2006-10-18 10:03:08 · answer #11 · answered by Mr Business 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋