advice for my 6 year old grandsons anger?

Question

My 6 year old grandson has anger problems. His mum & dad split & then divorced, My grandson has had anger problems since he was 3 & a half & has become worse as he's got older. His parents split 3 years ago. Now he is having problems at school & I dont think they know how to cope with him. My daughter dosen't want to change his school, cos his 8 year old sister is at the school too. All we want to do is HELP him. He can be such a loving boy, so he aint all bad. Also I dont believe his headmistress likes him, so that dont help!!

Answer 1

Well a good spanking always did me good.

Answer 2

Stand up for yourself. Write her a letter telling her how you feel and stating that she brought her problems on herself. That if she will lose the attitude you would be delighted to guide her on a path to a better life and that you will always be there for your grandson (and you could maybe still see him through his father). Also...the other possibility is she has some depression and post trauma from the divorce and the affair with your now-husband and the remarriage etc. That is a lot of life change inside of less than a year. Not that she is not responsible for her action but the path she is on might have started with that. So if that is the case why has it not effected the sister? Because they are individuals and perhaps being younger the sister was not affected as much.

Answer 3

Children often exhibit excessive anger when they are having trouble either gaining positive attention or expressing their emotions. If your grandson has worked out that by playing up and being angry he gets attention from his parents then he will use this trick. If having lived through an emotionally difficult time for his family he is unclear how to express feelings like fear, anxiety, sadness etc. You could try and come up with ways to encourage your grandson to express himself such as using picture cards, a thumbs up and thumbs down card system. I would suggest you involve the school and your doctor as the earlier you address this the better for your grandson. Good luck.

Answer 4

He needs to know that his good behaviour is being acknowledged through lots of praise and attention. He is obviously craving attention. He just needs to feel loved and secure. Reward good behavoiur with trips to places he chooses to go. Although there is a fine line between spoiling a child and rewarding good behavoiur. Use reward charts & treat him if he has shown progress. He can probably sense that people take a dislike to him & this fuels his anger even more but by reassuring him that he is precious & the reasons that make him special, he will build self esteem and may talk about his feelings. Moving schools would only make matters worse as it would be putting him under pressure.

Answer 5

i have a friend that split with her son's father. i won't go into the whole story. but the son was a loving child. after the split you could see him change. this went on for about 3 years. finally his grandmother talked to her about getting him some counseling.
once he learned that this person wasn't going to tell his mom or anyone else what they talked about , he finally opened up. it took about 6 months. he was able to let go of a lot of his anger. he is now the loving child we remember. he has learned to talk about things that bother him with his mom and grandmother. he is doing great.

Answer 6

i was watching a program called Montel, last week and and parents were on there talking about their troubled children..and a 17 year old girl, was saying the doctor, found her 2 be bipolar and not ADD.. once her medication was given, her anger disappeared.. something 2 think about ..

Answer 7

For a start you can stop blaming the headmistress. His parents are the only ones to blame here. A lot of kids from broken homes have this sort of problem. It stems from being too spoilt by both their parents. They are both trying to be the "good" parent & probably giving in & allowing him to dictate the rules to them instead of the other way round.
Speak to his GP & see if he is eligible for counselling.

Answer 8

he could have ADHD. my little boy was diagnosed at 6 and he was a little rip but could also be an angel. ask at your doctors to get him assessed and take it from there. good luck hope it isnt coz its a roller coaster ride for the people around him. my sons 12 now and doing brilliant but it did take 4 years of listening to doctors and specialists waffling on and talking crap. frustating isnt the word for it.

Answer 9

when he is playing up just don't pay him any attention and soon enough he'll just give up.also try spending more time with him like bring him to the park just you and him cause it sounds like he would just play up if there's alot of people around so if you have a one to one it'll make him feel he has someone to turn to when times get tough

Answer 10

OK the one thing i can think of is to try and sit him down and talk to him and ask him whats wrong ask him to tell u and that you wont tell anyone. It could be the fact that his parents aren't together anymore and it could be difficult for him to aspect that. I found it hard to expected it when my parents split so he could just trying to let his angry out but not trying to hurt anybody from it. yourself and your grandson and his mother and father should try and talk to him altogether it might be better but tell him its alright tell him that your not going to give out to him just talk to him in a nice way. and just try and sort everything out. :-)

Answer 11

Sounds like he needs to see a children's therapist. He could be acting out emotions he feels from his parent's divorce.