I asked who she was and how she knew my husband. She told me that she cuts his hair and that he told her to call him. I asked him about this and he laughed and said he didn't know what I was talking about. He also said, why would he give out our home number (he works nights and that's when she called) when I'm home at night.
We've been married for 11 years, together for 16. He wasn't alwasy faithful before we were married. This is his 3rd marriage.
Is he cheating?
2006-10-18 09:18:09 · 69 answers · asked by breezygirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ouch. That is a toughy! You need to see if there are other signs. If he hasn't been faithful before then you should be able to pick up on those signs quick. (You have to give him the benefit of the doubt until caught red handed). She could have a thing for him and he denied her. She could now be trying to start something between the two of you. (you never know). Or he could actually be cheating.
All I can say is give him the benefit of the doubt until you have concrete proof. Don't try to put things in perspective until you have all the evidence. Some people do learn from their mistakes. Don't base things on the past. Base it on what is happening now. This could put a strain on your marriage and complicate things when in fact they may have no reason to be.
2006-10-18 09:24:57 · answer #1 · answered by Keith Perry 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think so. Maybe its someone who doesn't like you or your husband trying to break your marriage. Could be anyone. Some woman trying to get him or even his ex or a woman who hates you or your husband.
If he was having an affair, then he would have it secret and not give her your home number and let her call and just when you are there. You say he laughed and if it was a casual laugh then he is innocent.
You say he has not been faithful before marriage but that was before marriage. After marriage maybe he has changed. He has been with you for 11 years so. Its either somebody's work or someone doing it for a joke.
Suspicion always destroys relationships.
Good luck and I hope and wish he was not cheating and hope you continue your happy marriage, happily.
2006-10-18 09:33:02 · answer #2 · answered by Mr Business 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's up to something, especially with a track record like that. Unfortunately, you have obviously invested a lot of time with this person. Do you have children? Assuming he's cheating and ending the marriage due to a female caller is a tad impetuous. Perhaps you should sit down with him and discuss what's happening in your marriage, suggest a counsellor if need be. People cheat because there is usually something else wrong with the marriage. It would be a shame to throw it all away on a possible indiscretion. Good luck.
2006-10-18 09:27:36 · answer #3 · answered by euchremother 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheating.
The woman already gave you the answer. She said he told her to call him at home.
He gave her your guys' home phone number. How else would she have gotten it? By closing her eyes and pointing in the phone book?
She told you he gave her the phone number and had told her to call him.
Especially if he wasn't always faithful before you were married. Ouch. Sorry, but once a cheater, (almost) always a cheater.
Him trying to laugh it off and deny it is a whole 'nother ballgame. She obviously got the phone number from somewhere and he is lying to you about it. If he didn't have any wrong intentions with that woman he would have just told you, 'yeah, I told her to call so I can set up an appointment with her' or whatever. By him trying to laugh it off and ask why he would do that, he is trying to throw you for a loop and distract you from asking what the hell is really going on.
2006-10-18 09:21:47 · answer #4 · answered by jennnnn 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can not answer if he is cheating. I have never seen your husband on the fact. Now back to your original question-- what was it anyway? yes, the phone call and what you would do -- number one i would not panick. it is only a phone call. number two -- politely i will tell her -- he is not home and ask her name and her number. now at least you have some facts to go by. and please don't jump to conclusion. next -- I will make sure the information -- is true. that the phone number and name are correct. easy to verify. once you have those facts -- i will find out where "she lives" -- that is also easy if you have the correct number -- find out if you can her profession etc. May be there is nothing -- behind all that info. now ready to confront the hubby -- tell him who called. if he wants to volunteer info -- that is fine. if he does not want -- that is when you begin to ask yourself questions. when you get to that step. come back for the next question. hope it helps. and you need some good luck but really not much. you had plenty of experience already with your number 3 hub.
2006-10-18 09:27:21 · answer #5 · answered by s t 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so basically he just said he wouldnt give out your home number BECAUSE you'd be home at night...but he'd give out ANOTHER number???
He's either just stupid or he's cheating. Sorry, I would need more info. Maybe you need to go see if he's REALLY at work when he's "working nights". And dont just call there. Go there. AND THEN from the parking lot next to his car, CALL the place and have them bring him to the phone. Dont call his cell, he could be anywhere, and just having his car parked at work.
AND then I'll finish up with "once a cheat, always a cheat" and...did he cheat on a prior wife with you? Hmmm...I say clean out the bank accounts, put the bills in his name and call a lawyer!
Good luck, sweetie!
2006-10-18 09:22:00 · answer #6 · answered by Munya Says: DUH! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he has a long history of being unfaithful. I think if you have to ask that question then deep in your heart you know the answer.
He knows how to talk smooth and say just what he thinks you want to hear.... And because you love him he's depending on you to believe him.
It sounds to me like she was trying to let you know about herself and your husband.
If you don't trust your husband there is really nothing anyone here can say that is going to change that...
Marriage is based on love, trust and commitment. You deserve the very best in life along with happiness and security.
Suggest some marriage counseling and see what he has to say. A therapist can help you get to the bottom of this and give you tools to either mend things of get out....
best wishes and I'm sorry you are going through this, I know you must be hurt and scared.
2006-10-18 09:38:27 · answer #7 · answered by easinclair 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, are you sure she had the right nbr? I mean did she ask specifically for his name or did she just say may I speak to your husband? IF she did call and ask specifically for his name and then your husband says he has no idea what you are talking about hes probably lying! Once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater and how can you be absolutely postive that he's been faithful this whole time. I recommend this website as I have seen the show and they are very good at what they do: http://www.cheaters.com/
2006-10-18 09:23:17 · answer #8 · answered by herbie36f 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not sure if he is cheating, if not he's probably thinking about it..He laughed when you asked him this question that is a big red flag...So did she give out anymore info,,,i always call to make my hair appointments they never call me unless there is a change in appointments for some reason,,,did she discuss changing any previous appointment or was that the end of the conversation?? what smells like a rat is probably a rat...good luck...
2006-10-18 09:35:03 · answer #9 · answered by - 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to seriously TALK to him about your concerns.
While I'm sure there is more to this story, you both need to have a coming together. You've been married for 11 years--congrats! However, it may be time to just have a check up on your relationship.
The call may be nothing, but it may be something.
For now give your husband the benefit of the doubt and assume that it's nothing.
2006-10-18 09:21:10 · answer #10 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋