I fell completely in love with one of my co workers last year and i cant stop thinking about her. Ive been with my wife for 8 years and we have two children but i don't feel the same about her as i do the other girl. I've never cheated on my wife however, i feel like over the past year we really haven't been as close as we were the first several years together. When i worked with this girl we got along so well and i felt like i could talk to her on more of a personal and even spiritual level than i ever have with my wife and when i look in her eyes its like i could talk forever with her. I would i think about telling my wife that i may have found some one else i seem to have a nervous but calm feeling in my stomach like its the thing to do.
2006-10-18 09:18:08 · 22 answers · asked by daubignee 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you do nothing---YOU ARE MARRIED!!
2006-10-18 09:21:59 · answer #1 · answered by Penguin Gal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This co-worker infatuation thing is a fantasy. It's easy to be relaxed and open around someone who is always telling you what you want to hear. It's always easy to tell someone what they want to hear when you are not sharing reality. Of course you are both wonderful to each other when you have nothing to truly rely on from each other than conversation and lunch. You are comparing your co-workers positives (more correctly stated as "false positives") to what you see and judge as your spouses negatives. You know you are.
Share the bills, the responsibilty of children and house and life; share a slice of reality with this co-worker you'll be in the same situation you are in with your current spouse. You are who you are, you have contributed to the problems in your marriage as much as your spouse has.
This co-worker is not the answer to all your looking for. Your spouse is not the cause of all your unhappiness.
The reality is, you are cheating. There does not need to be sex or physical contact to consider it cheating. It's the secrecy. Emotional bonds can be as damaging and many times even more so then just sex. You are in a situation that you have allowed to take control of you.
Take it from the thousands and thousands that have walked that road before you. You are in a bad way.
Get some help, get some counseling. Don't buy into to false impression that leaving your current wife for a co-worker would be the thing to do.
2006-10-19 02:51:00 · answer #2 · answered by whostolemyprofile 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grow the F up. You have two children at home but fell in "love(?)" with someone from work? What makes you think she wants anything from you except friendship? You were supposed to be safe. Lets see how this plays out, you tell your wife this who throws your *** out. Then you call the other woman who cannot understand how you could dump on your wife like that and she tells you to kiss off. Now you are living alone with no money a family broken and children in turmoil because you are longing for someone else.
This scenario describes an immature scumbag. Is that what you thought when you had your children, I think I will break up their family for fantasy? Get Real.
What you do is look at your wife and figure out where YOU went off track. Then you go about the steps to fix you problems with your wife.
This is what a man does. Wondering and wavering is what a boy does. I repeat Grow UP.
2006-10-18 16:29:07 · answer #3 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you really loved your wife, you would end the relationship. It's now based on a lie. It would be harder for your wife if you cheated on her, or just resented her for the rest of your life because she is the reason you missed out on true happiness.
I think it's a crappy thing, but you can't help who you fall in love with. I feel worse for your children than anything, but why should they have to see you in a loveless marriage? It's not a good example.
If you are still in love with your wife, then I would stay with her and cut all communication with your friend. While you feel a connection now, it could just be lust or a love of the unknown or even a love of the forbidden. But don't let her be a part of your life if you have feelings for her. It will only cause problems in your marriage. Follow your heart.
Good luck!
2006-10-18 16:23:11 · answer #4 · answered by Heck if I know! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it's definitely not the thing to do.
Love is a choice and you chose to love and marry your wife. What are you doing, man, playing around with fire. This other woman can only mean a world of trouble and heartache for you.
What kind of a father are you that you would do this thing to their mother? Don't you realize they need both of you together to provide a safe loving home for them?
Are you so selfish that you are only thinking of trying to satisfy
your needs that should only be satisfied with your wife?
Grow up, man! Love your wife. Take care of your home and children. Go back and do the things you did with and for your wife, back in your good times. You just need to rekindle your love, and stop looking for greener pastures somewhere else.
2006-10-21 21:05:48 · answer #5 · answered by delmaanna67 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
See if the wife is into doing a 3 way.
2006-10-18 16:26:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your MARRIED!!!! If you don't love your wife you need to let her know. If you two cannot communicate what so ever then you two need to go your seperate ways!! If you really are in love with this other lady.. then you do need to get a divorce and move on with your lives. Trust and Communication is the key to a healthy marriage!
2006-10-18 17:07:25 · answer #7 · answered by Bella Trinity 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a moron---how can you think of messing up your marriage over a lust--that's what it is. Be honest. Do you think of anyone else besides yourself? You have two children. what are you going to teach them---that human beings are disposable.
if you are feeling disconnected from your wife, talk with her, seek counseling and find out how you can dontribute to the relationship. sounds like you are trying to justify infidelity. Grow up!
2006-10-18 16:28:27 · answer #8 · answered by hopscothchbunnies 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, is this the same way you felt when you first were falling in love with your wife? all relationships go through stages. If you do tell your wife and leave her and the same thing happens with this other woman, and in the meantime lose all you have then you deserve what you get. Why dont you get Christ in your life and repair you marriage.
2006-10-18 20:49:22 · answer #9 · answered by rufi 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think first you should speak to your co-worker and see how she feels about you and if she also feels the same way about you and if you are willing to sacrifice your marriage and kids for her, it is a shame but then you have to tell your wife
2006-10-18 16:40:25 · answer #10 · answered by chints 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi my mane is Valentina Stevens i do psychic tarot card readings i own my psychic shop for over 10 years, all i can say to you is you want your marriage to drift apart so it can be easier to tell your wife something is wrong between the two of you, you want something different in you life, so this woman seams so right, your probably looking for a stepping stone to let go of your marriage, if its all talk you enjoy with this other woman try talking to your wife about interesting stuff not just what is our duty's today, every day life stuff is not always interesting or good conversation i Hope you allowed me to do a reading for you all i need is your d-o-b, you may contact me by e-mail at no charge at valentinastevens@yahoo.com Hope to hear soon.
2006-10-18 16:57:06 · answer #11 · answered by valentinastevens 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋