My wife has not had sex with me in exactly 11 months. The day our baby was conceived, and that was the only reason she did then. She doesn't think sex is part of a healthy marriage. I don't know how much longer I can stand it. I love my wife very much, but like any mae, from any species, I NEED SEX!!! What should I do?
2006-10-18 09:12:16 · 25 answers · asked by Bad Pookie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Let me add to this. I give my wife love and attention. I do all the house work; dishes, laundry, cleaning. And to Sarahsmam.....I get up with the baby almost every night. I stay up late with her, feed her and put her to bed. I also take care of the yardwork, feed the pets, and keep up with the cars maintenance, along with working 40+ hours a week. Now tell me what you really think?
2006-10-18 10:17:24 · update #1
Oh yeah, and I still hold my wife in bed every night. Even if we have been arguing.
2006-10-18 10:19:04 · update #2
What is wrong with the women in this world. What do they expect? Men DO have needs, does she expect you to wait around forever? WOW.
Belive it or not, your story is VERY typical of life these days, it's why SO many men cheat. SOMEday women will get over themselves, and figure it out, that if you give what you need to, then they will give what you need.
Im sorry you are having to go through this. I feel for you. I really do. There is NOTHING like what you are going through right now.
2006-10-18 09:25:59 · answer #1 · answered by yareyouhiding 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You said it right there. You need SEX. What she needs is love. That is the greates difference between men and women right there and men who are in successful marriages have an understanding of this. That's all you need to make it work. Is she breastfeeding? If she is her hormones are taking over right now and that would be a big part of why she is uninterested. Now I know you men hate the whole cuddling thing but I am telling you, it really works. Only problem is don't make her think the only reason you want to hold her is because you want sex. If she catches on the whole plan will bakcfire. Prove to her that you can be close to her without being turned on. Show her that you value her as a woman, mother, and wife. Let her know you want her as a person, not just as a partner between the sheets. That is the whole key to your relationship. At the end of the day let her know you are there to support her. Let her know you care about her and listen to what she has to say. You don't even have to say anything. Just talking to you about her day can relieve the stress she is feeling right now and it will bring you closer together. Hopefully this will work for you. If it doesn't help you get sex hopefully it will at least bring you closer as human beings.
All of these people who are suggesting you tell you you are thinking of cheating are wrong. It will only make her feel more hurt and suspicious and will probably make her NOT want to have sex with you. Bad idea!
2006-10-18 16:21:50 · answer #2 · answered by yummymummy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to see if there are physical reasons she is not wanting to have sex. Does it hurt her when you all have sex? Is she physically uncomfortable? Or, are there emotional reasons? Does she feel like you don't give her enough "attention" before the actual act (no disrespect intended)?
I know sometimes after a baby, it takes a long time. Personally, sex was extremely painful for me for a year after giving birth. I thought I would never enjoy it again.
However, it sounds like she has some issues. Low libido can also be a sign of serious medical issues. Or, if she has past emotional issues like abuse, that could be the reason.
Either way, I would say you both need to get some counseling to see why she isn't wanting to have sex. I can see why you are frustrated - good luck!
2006-10-18 16:25:05 · answer #3 · answered by Amy J 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask anyone if sex is important in a relationship and they'll probably say "No" that's not what's important. Granted there are some other things like communication in your case but ask the person who's not getting any. It's something you and your wife are going to have to talk about. It could be something bugging her about you that's turning her off. Ask her if she needs more help with the baby so that she isn't too tired. Go to her and talk. Don't waster another minute on the computer asking other people. Don't go find someone else to get your jollies, that's not the solution. Best wishes
2006-10-18 16:19:11 · answer #4 · answered by janet_67_1998 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem with my husband and its tearing me apart. I've asked him about it and he says nothing is wrong and that he still finds me attractive and loves me. I did some online research and found that marriages with people who have completely opposite sex drives tend to not last. I'm actually scared about it. I refuse to see a therapist about it because I know he won't go and it just seems stupid to spend money on something we should be able to fix ourselves. Honestly, i'm starting to think that since he knows it bothers me that he purposly won't give it up because it gives him a sense of control. What it pretty much comes down to is a decision to stay assuming that sex won't happen or leave because its not. Its a decision thats awful to have to make but even if things get better even for a little while, they always could go backwards again. I'm not sure what I'm going to do myself but I hope it makes you feel better that someone of the opposing sex out there is having a similar problem (like its not just men having trouble getting sex from women cause it goes both ways).
2006-10-18 16:26:59 · answer #5 · answered by girliewondering 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are a real piece of work. She conceived a child 11 months ago. That means that baby is about 4-8 weeks old. SHE IS EXHAUSTED YOU IDIOT!!
When is the last time you changed a diaper or got up in the middle of the night with the crying baby or fixed a bottle? You are a selfish jackass. Act like a man instead of a whining, sniffling baby...she already has one of those.
2006-10-18 16:22:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Sex is a part of a healthy marriage. Try to get her to go to counseling. Good Luck
2006-10-18 16:15:36 · answer #7 · answered by hotsavannah21 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get couples counseling. A relationship isn't likely to last if the couple isn't sexually compatible. If y'all can't resolve this issue, then you may need to consider moving on. This life is too short to spend it with someone who is not a good match...why did you not know this about her prior to marrying her?
2006-10-18 16:14:14 · answer #8 · answered by . 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dude, your wife has issues! What does she mean that sex is not part of a healthy marriage?! That is insane. You guys probably need counseling and you need to get to the bottom of why she doesn't want to have sex.
Also, is this something she disclosed to you BEFORE you got married?
2006-10-18 16:15:49 · answer #9 · answered by Ladybug 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
You should tell her that you want to be in a more intimate relationship. [No offence, but I think there's something wrong with her lol.] Maybe she has some skeletons in the closet you don't know about that have made her this way.. Investigate..
2006-10-18 16:15:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋