Serious answers please. Would really appreciate it.?

Question

I am an Indian who has spent most of my life in the UK and Spain and hold a Spanish passport. I was just 17 when I set foot in Spain and continued living there right through my MBA and more. There is very little that I have not done in my life- world travel, modelling in Milan and Barcelona, drinking,smoking and womanising. I had noone to hold my hand and guide me and that led to going around with more women then I can even remember. The girls too would give me opportunities and I took them with glee. I returned to India on a holiday and landed up getting married. My wife decided we should settle down in India and after a lot of yes/no - it was India. A call from Barcelona took me surprise as the person on the other end claimed to be my offspring and he had a sister too. I had never had a clue of this development and my wife is livid though all this happened before I we met. The kids want to see me and want a share of my property in Spain which is quite a bit. What should I do?

I would like to add, I am a self made man who never depended on anyone for financial assistance of any kind. I have worked my way up to accumalte my assets and I do feel that they should have come forth much earlier and not now.

I think some of youll misunderstood my thing about my assets. When I got the call ( they got the number from a common friend of their mother and I )- it was their birthday ( being twins). They just wanted to speak to me and see me at least once. They have no clue as to what my assets are in Spain or anywhere else. I have two teenaged sons here and i love them very much. I just think if they are mine ( after the DNA ) - I should do something for their future as well. All this happened much before I got married and in those days AIDS, HIV etc. was not so common or wide spread to have taken precautions.

Answer 1

Get a DNA test and go from there.

Answer 2

U cannot blame ur actions on the fact that no1 was there 2 guide u. But, if u were not hurting any1, then ur actions were also not so terrible. Irresponsible, but EVERY1 has done something irresponsible at 1 time.
I'd like 2 know what kind of life ur wife thought u lead before u got married? If u lied 2 her, then sadly, this is the price u pay. But if u told her the truth, don't feel guilty about ur latest shock, just try 2 b there 4 ur wife, &explain that she's still ur number 1 etc.
As far as the children go, I'd question their motives. If u r in ANY doubt, do a paternity test. Plus, if they r non-dependents, seek legal advice about what ur financial responsibilities toward them actually r. If they've only mentioned money, b prepared 2 fight dirty, 2 protect your good wife & the people who r there 4 u now.
Final thought though: if they've expressed a desire 2 want 2 get 2know u/ b a part of ur life... perhaps it'd feel good 2 do what is, after all, the decent thing, & help them out (yes, financially 2) as u did get off scot-free 4 a number of years. Now that would show just how far removed from ur old, irresponsible self u've become.
Good luck, x

Answer 3

The woman that had your children probably couldn't find you or thought it would probably be better if you didn't know, knowing your rep with all these women. The children got older and wanted to know who their father was. Get a paternity test done and if these are your children, you need to step up and be a man. You shouldn't have done all of this and now you have to pay for it. What do you mean a share of your property? How do they know you have property in Spain? This could be a scheme to get money. So make sure you have the paternity test done. If they are your children, you do owe them something and should want to see them and spend some time with them.

Answer 4

I think it is wonderful how well you have succeeded and you have became the man you are this day.As far as your wife,she is probably feeling just alittle left out of something that has brought forth alot of joy your way in finding your relatives.Give her time,just reassure her that you love her and you might want to include her in some decision making.Once you became as one threw marriage,this includes her in major things and issues as well.Try to see from her point of view if possible.I know all this took place before you met,but you also didn't find this information until after marriage.She shouldn't be jealous of offspring,and she might not be,i really think it is over the reaction you are taking at this point,like sharing your wealth,which shows such a wonderful hearted man that you are,but like i mentioned you made her as one with you,and this wealth is hers now as well.Sit and talk to her and invite your offspring to come to you both.Remember you got where you are on your own with no help,and sometimes no help is the best help when it comes to family,they can sometimes tend to take great advantage of a situation,however nothing is worth you and your wife's happiness.I wish you all the best and i am sure things have a way of working themselves out!Good Luck.

Answer 5

Wow!! That must have been quite a shock! Make sure you are understanding of your wife's emotions in this or things could get worse. She's not going to want to think of you having been with another woman before her, that's probably why she's so upset.
When the two of you work this out you should both go together to see your children, your wife needs to be involved so she sees you have nothing to hide.
Maybe let the kids use your property for holiday until you can confirm you are indeed the father? Don't give away anything until you are positive they are your children or it will be very bad for you if they are, in fact, not!
Good luck and take care!
Ps. Please be understanding of your wife, this is nothing she could have been prepared for, just like you!

Answer 6

I think you know what you should do already....but being afraid to find out, because you think your wife will be upset, she should accept that you had a past, part of that was "womanising, every choice a person makes, we must face consequence, now the past has caught up with you...you cannot run from it, you must be a man and face it...the first thing which goes without saying is to get the DNA test, and then you can take things from there on....if they are you children be there for them...children are a gift from God you cannot turn your back on them if they are yours...you will live to regret it, so do the right thing. Good Luck.

Answer 7

paternity test.
it is appropriate for you to provide care and assistance if the children are yours, and I would allow some provision for their mother.
please disregard the timing .. it's not something they did on purpose, and is irrelevant to the issue.
your wife is reacting emotionally. do not allow her to take control of the process.
Now, assuming the children are yours, you should engage a solicitor and direct him to offer them an out-of-court settlement.
In my opinion that should include either an outright gift of a house or lifetime right-of-residence, and an annual allowance. Again, including the mother.
My guess is that's what they really want .. and perhaps more education.
They should sign a waiver of any further claim.
Otherwise, the case will end in court.
Ultimately, it depends how much they know about your assets.

Answer 8

First of all, you need to have a paternity test done on both children so you can be sure that these children are yours. Now your wife should not be mad, because this happened before she was in the picture, right now you need her support, in all of this. that is enough for you to deal with. Once the test results are in and you know that they are your children, you do not have to give them any thing yet, get to know them, find out how they are doing and so forth, you keep your property, until you see fit to give them any thing, until you are ready. You can will it to them, after your death if you want.

Answer 9

Seriously man...... How can he hav a sister??? If so then y didnt u knew??? Anyhow; the first thing that strikes in my mind is that... Let ur wife know about this if she still dun know this!!! She will support u. Then get a paternity test...That will surely help u. If ur is worth trapping u then no one can save u if the tests reveal that ur the daddy....N if the result is negative...Then i pray to God... That u live happily ever after. Talke Care. Good Luck!!!

Answer 10

You should absolutely make sure they are your kids before you give them anything. Further more, do they want to have a relationship with you because you are their father or because of what you have to offer? You should contact a lawyer number 1. Second , make them build a relationship with you before you give them any property. Maybe it's something they should earn in time.
As far as your wife is concerned, do not keep her in the dark on any of it. This was a huge shock to her as well as you. Some of her trust issues have been tested. Make sure you keep her aware of everything and ask for her opinion/advice.

Answer 11

first of all u gotta make sure they are ur kids by dna test then when they come visit u need to show them that u worked hard for what u got and the only way they will be a strong person inside and independent is to work for themselves to get it that's kind of selfish of them to say they are ur kids and just demand some of the property u worked for they need to learn how much a dollar really is