2006-10-18 08:22:53 · 15 answers · asked by David M 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Start by reframing your thoughts. Begin with "I have lost everything in divorce." Think of all you haven't lost (your sense of humor, your friends, your love of baseball). Then see the divorce as a bridge to a new you, a newer self that is wiser and more mature. Divorce or any truama can be used to make way for a new life, a new beginning. You don't have to be motivated right away. Take your time. Go do something you like to do. Find some way to have fun. Play. Even if you don't feel like it. Soon enough, desire for new things will come to you. The new you, who rises from the divorce like a phoenix from the ashes.
2006-10-18 08:30:56 · answer #1 · answered by redplanet 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is so hard, but I think a good dose of reality...
You were someone before you met and married your ex ... you should still be that person in some forms.
Every person changes, whether or not we recognize it, we change bit by bit. So, you have changed. Your life will continue to change.
I think that you should get back into the activities that made you feel like "you" in the first place. No that your life will change, but it will change in a good direction if you want it too.
I am not saying jump back into the dating scene, I am just saying that you should get back into getting to know yourself and with time, you will see what you want your new life to be.
There may be someone else out there for you and there may not be, only time will tell but in the end, you came into this world alone and you will leave this world alone and you have to make the most of it while you can.
Enjoy getting to know yourself again.
2006-10-18 08:27:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Having been there, I can tell you how I dealt with it.
Remember the old saying "I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet"?
Go do some volunteer work. Find your local Lions, Rotary, Kiwanis, Salvation Army, or groups like that, and just tell them you want to help out.
What you'll learn is that you still have a lot to give, and if you have something to give, you're already better off than a lot of people. It worked for me and has worked for a few people I've seen pull through that kind of lifewreck.
2006-10-18 08:44:14 · answer #3 · answered by open4one 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you are saying. When I was younger I worked 2 jobs and I made a nice savings account for when I got married. Then my husband was in debt big time. I thought I would pay off his debt so we could have a fresh start at life. I lost all that I worked for. But in all that I still have my circle of friends and my family. What I did was I look forward to tomorrow and I try not to look back. You can't change the past, but you can have a happy future if you have a positive attitude. Take care and I wish you all the happiness you deserve.
2006-10-18 08:31:25 · answer #4 · answered by hard rock girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're depressed. No doubt considering what you've been through. If this persists see the doctor to get treatment for depression. There is no easy answer. I too thought I had it made.. and now I'm unemployed, depressed and although I know I have so many skills I have no motivation to do anything. (Cept sit on this stupid computer) It's depression and it sucks. You can only try to get your life back together step by step. Good Luck and it DOES get easier. Do you have kids? If you do your lucky. They are a great motivation for trying to get your life together quickly.
2006-10-18 08:34:31 · answer #5 · answered by Johnny 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The good thing about losing everything is you get to start anew. You also cherish the little things that you would over look in the past. There are alot of people going through the same thing. The American dream is out there you have to create it yourself and believe that it is possible and worth waiting and working on. Nobody said it would be easy. Pray about it and take it day by day
2006-10-18 08:37:20 · answer #6 · answered by Keke 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, all I can say is that it takes time. After my divorce I was alone raising my twins and my ex husband was out with his girlfriend taking fancy vacations........I used to get so jealous when I saw other couples together and wondered what was wrong with me and how come I was alone. You have to learn to be okay with yourself first......once that heppens then you won't settle for less than a great match. Join a bowling league, a town chorus, a book club.anything to get you out there and make friends. Once you start getting out there again your confidence will go up........ I did eventually marry a second time and things are great. We are expecting our first baby in feb and we are happily married........ just don't give up.
2006-10-18 08:32:30 · answer #7 · answered by jachooz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find someone to talk to. It can be anyone, your brother, sister, best friend, minister, counselor, just anyone you can confide in. You will get through this, although it will be tough going at first. (Been there and done that) There may even be a group with people in your exact situation......you can join this group and get help. Check in your local news paper, in the phone book or on the Internet, I'm sure you'll find someone to help you. Try to stay positive and best of luck.
2006-10-18 08:33:34 · answer #8 · answered by deardra 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How to move on? What? You going to plan on living in a cardboard box under the overpass? Snap out of it man. Get ahold of yourself and act like a man instead of snivelling about the American dream and all that tommyrot.
No one will take care of you except yourself. Get with it and move on. If you can't...then get lost.
2006-10-18 08:49:58 · answer #9 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
After you beat up yourself for what happened in your relationship lick your wounds, learn from your mistakes and get on with life one step at a time.
2006-10-18 08:26:48 · answer #10 · answered by Fresh choice 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋