Brainwashing as a form of domestic abuse? Do you suspect this is happening to you, too?

Question

I guess I'm looking for support as I feel isolated from everything that was once "me". Are there ways that the victim can foil the brainwashing until s/he is strong enough to be able to leave?

I can't reach out to many people physically, because everything I do is scrutinized. I think he looks through my things (he doesn't know about this sign-in name & I'm using a computer he has no access to).

He has never been physically violent, but he used to be so sweet and now he "jokes" about "knocking me upside the head," etc (funny, ain't it?!). He's increasingly aggressive. I tell him it's not funny and that I don't appreciate it, etc., so I do stand up for myself.

But I've been reading some literature on brainwashing techniques and he has used 99% of them! I love him, but I need to get out. I'm not strong enough to leave now though. I'm worried he might "accidentally" let my cats out or something evil like that. If I move them somewhere else he will know something's up. Please advise.

Some good websites on brainwashing are:

changingminds.org

and

http://people.howstuffworks.com/brainwashing.htm/printable

The crazy thing is I do love him. Why on earth would I stay with him if I didn't, Neptune? I wonder if you're an abuser, too, as you are foisting the blame right back onto the victim. Thanks, but no thanks.

Answer 1

Thats how domestic abuse starts. Get help from groups that support women who want free of domestic abbuse. Good luck and do it soon. It will only get worse. Don't let him know you are leaving or else that could force him to get violent or he might just be able to talk you out of it if he has got to you this bad already. Never go back to him. He will always say he will change but in a year you will be back in this same situation.

Answer 2

Just because you are married doesn't mean you have to stay home 24/7.

If you want to leave go ahead, there are many places you can go, your mother's for one, since you have admitted that he is threatening you with physical abuse you can go to a shelter for women. And no you are not being brainwashed, no one can do that to you unless you let them that is hogwash.

You don't sound like you are in love at all just sound like you are tired of the relationship, and you are convincing yourself that it is all his fault and so on, grow up and leave that's really what you want to do you just don't want to give up the comforts he is providing right? You can work for your own comforts and there is nothing more comforting than to know you did it all yourself.

Answer 3

Sweets: Ok... First so that you stop worrying about your pets, Ask some friends or family to take them JUST for a while, but if anyone asks, you gave them to them to KEEP. This way he doesnt have that over you, and NOW... you need to plan what to do. You need to get out, and if you are scared, call the police. NOT 911... and ask them to help you. Tell them you are in a verbally abusive relationship and are scared its going to turn violent. They will help you. They will watch over him while you get your things and go... then just stay strong for yourself. At least you can see what he is doing to you, and dont have to take it. Good luck

Answer 4

i imagine that rolling your eyes and giving your significant different the chilly shoulder are exceptionally favourite behaviors for a pair in the technique an project. Even healthful couples do this variety of element at the same time as they are scuffling with, because they try to achieve the better hand. Yeah, this is infantile and stupid, yet having disputes is the reality of marriage. you're nevertheless taking the pro's words out of context, notwithstanding. i imagine they are touching on those who try this variety of element even at the same time as there is no argument happening. you comprehend, they are going to make tasteless comments at their significant different's rate in the front of persons, they are going to call them 'fool' each and every time they get something incorrect (however if this is no longer important), and yeah, deliberately withholding sex is a exceptionally dick flow, too. it is why they say that abuse is not in basic terms actual, this is psychological, too. How lengthy might want to you be satisfied consisting of your marriage if this replaced into the way your significant different acted each and every of the time? EDIT - seem, dude. My moms and dads had a wedding ceremony like the single she's describing. it ultimately escalated to actual violence, which i wager makes it ok that they were given a divorce. yet all of those different pink flags that befell before the fists went flying? Yeah, those were obviously ok. in the journey that that they had acted on those, they could were "overreacting", accurate? What yet another answerer suggested below me is really authentic about there wanting to be a trend for this to be seen abuse. i'm declaring that in case your significant different acts like this to you each and every of the time, even in moments the position you're literally not arguing about something, you've were given your self a mentally abusive significant different. also, I appreciate your attempt at a comparitive argument, yet I have a tendency to hate "projection predictions", a l. a. "if we enable the gays marry, human beings will opt to marry ANIMALS next!" Is it so demanding to settle for that there is any such element as psychological abuse in marriages? Your little rape difficulty falls flat, and is no longer even suitable to what we are speaking about right here.

Answer 5

I'm sure there is a center for spousal abused victims you can get in touch with who wil help you get yourself and things, including cats, out safely and letting you live in a safe house.

Answer 6

it is really amazing when you learn about how easy it is to manufacture memories, and convince people that they did stuff they never did, God knows Ill never look at the world the same way again.