depressed?

Question

I have big problems right now in my life, and I have no one to help me. My financial status is bad, and my emotional status is too... the person I love no longer cares that much for me... My family let me down and I am all the time thinking about death...I can't commit suicide because I fear God... I sometimes think I am about to die, because it is too much for me...I am only 24 and I am seeing the darkest edges of existence already...I feel unreal at many times, and I hope I am in a dream but find that it is my ruined life...I write because I just want someone to listen to me...thank you

Answer 1

I know you are going through some tough times at the moment. I have been there. If you have no one to talk to, talk to a counselor or you can talk to me, lonewolf8870 is my yahoo ID so you can IM if you wish. But you have to stop and think, if the person you were with, no longer loves you, you are better off without them, you deserve to have someone treat you right and respect you. I am so sorry your family let you down, but families do this so often, but this is where you step up to the plate and find new friends, and talk to people who understand what you are going though at the moment. Do you have your health? Do you have a roof over your head? Do you have food on the table? You have to turn to God also. He may not hear you, but I know there are alot more people ahead of you that also needs help. I am 44, I have Spinal Stenosis, and I take care of my 84 year old Mother who has had now 6 strokes. So I know what hard times are like. I also just got out of a relationship, when I found out that it was just full of lies and deceit. But remember these fives words" HOLD ON AND BE STRONG". This is my motto that I live by everyday. Go get help, there are services out there that will help you, especially if you need to talk. Call the suicide Hotline and talk to someone there. Believe me you could be worse off. I know if seems as if you are not going anywhere at this time, but hang in there. Go for a walk, exercise, read a book, keep your mind occuppied. Plus if you need to talk I am here also. But never give up, no mater how dark things may get, because I know for a fact, that in time, things will become brighter again for you.I am hear to listen and give you advise, but I will tell you like it is. I do not candy coat things, or tell you things that you want to hear. I tell you the truth and the reality of things. I am very upfront and honest. I tell like I see it. But believe you could be so much more worse off. You could be homeless, no food, and your health could be bad. But you are 24 and have a whole life ahead of you. Five years ago I lost my step-dad to cancer, who dies here at home in my arms. I have been taking care of my parents since 1999 lost him in 2001 and now I have my Mom who I take care of. I have no social life, but I don't let it get me down. Yes, I have my bad days, but I an grateful that I am alive and that I am here for my Mom. You also might try to get involved in some groups. I don't know what you like to do, but try a new hobby. Or, make a goal for yourself and allow yourself enough time to achieve this goal. But if you don't achieve don't give up, keep on pursuing it until you to achieve your goal.Make new goals for yourself every time you achieve one goal, make up another one.But please, don't even let suicide enter your thoughts. There are people who will listen, you just need to find them.Believe me they are out there. You take care and I am here if you need to talk.

Answer 2

Dark Rose-I am sorry about what has happened and that you are feeling so badly. It is good that you have written - and I know you will find many supportive answers here. You also need to get some professional help and talk - money is a problem for you, so maybe a local church can help you financially and emotionally.
It is good that you fear God, and He will guide you from here every step of the way if you seek Him. He has a purpose for your life. Walk with Him taking baby steps, and you may also need to see your doctor for meds to help you with your depression as well. Email me anytime - I have been depressed in my life as well - and you will get better day by day.- esp. because it sounds like you want to! You are young and have your life ahead - don't loose hope!

Answer 3

Do me a favor okay.. Please seek some help i know the feelings you are having i to have them, but i go to a doctor who prescribes antidepressants and im now talking to a phscoligist a few times a month and i'm getting threw each day now, Its not easy but life is worth living and your only 24 sweetie, go for it GET HELP! call any place let them know how much you are hurting okay? and you said you just need to write, well I'm here if you ever need to vent it all out and i'm sure many other CL people feel the same... remember someone is always with you... A CL friend, Now go make a few calls and see someone......

Answer 4

I'm sorry. I really am. :(
I have been the same way, but I've never gotten to such a bad state as you are in. Please, don't think about suicide, ever. You're right to fear God. If you fear Him, though, why don't you trust in Him too? Pray, find yourself a place where you can fellowship with other people who fear God... I think that you could make yourself some great friends!
I think that you'll find some great people to listen to you... You just have to look in the right places. Don't give up! Keep searching!
God bless!

Answer 5

Well if this helps you.. here I go...

In my 20's I was a financial mess, divorced with one child. And far from home. I considered bankruptcy, but was afraid it would follow me for years. So like you I had financial wows hanging over my head for YEARS. And couldn't get a loan from anybody to fix my mess. I didn't have much of an education for getting a good job so I struggled through life with jobs that didn't pay much or offer much. While my credit problems snow balled.

I met a new fella that I thought was my soulmate.. we were extremely compatible and dated for several years.. when he married someone else. He told me I was too easy to get along with.

Nothing was working in my favor. Nothing.

I had to pick up my life and some how put it back together. And slowly I did. I was not happy with my situation but what else could I do? No one could pick me up but me.

I finally got a job as an shelter tech at an animal control agency. I shoveled poop for a living...but it was a county job with benefits. That lead to an animal control officer position that I held for 6 years and paid me enough to rent a house and start to repair my credit. That led to a better job with the same county that a total of 10 years later paid me enough to completely fix my credit and buy a house.

And then unexpectedly, my kidneys failed and I was actually faced with death a single parent at 35. Just when life was looking up. I was diagnosed with lupus nephritis. My own immune system secretly destroyed my kidneys.

I was about to lose the house I just bought. And then someone broke into my car and took my bag of medications. When I reported it and tried to get them replaced at the pharmacy, they told me I had to pay full price (rather then the insured price of $3.00 a bottle). It came to $2500.00 for three bottles of pills..that I did not have. I told the pharmacist I couldn't not pay that and I would just have to die...literally.

Then because I could no longer hold my job, my insurance dropped me, and I had just started dialysis. The sugery for the shunt they put in my arm for the dialysis was $40,000.00 and dialysis run at about $1500 dollars a treatment (three days a week). I had no insurance any more...

But by the grace of God (and he is out there) my moms insurance picked me up. When my co-workers found out about my situation, they collect enough money for me to make my house payment for three months and buy my medications.

Then I qualified for disability. Enough money a month to make my house payments, keep my bills current, pay for my medication and save a little.

I qualified for and took a medical retirement from my job. We started looking for a donor. My niece was a perfect match. That was 3 years ago. But I can't have the transplant because my illness (the lupus) wont go into remission. So it's now a waiting game. Will I live long enough? Don't know. I hope so. But for now, things are going really good. I made it through the tough part.

What do I do to keep positive? Art. I paint, and I just recently purchased a larger house with a downstairs that I am going to turn into a gallery.

Now here's the twist. If not for the kidney failure.... I'd still be working the 9 to 5 drag... instead, I am working at home doing something I am passionate about. Art. And I feel blessed. There are so many people out there far worse off then me and if I die tomorrow.. I will have died too young, but I will have had a wonderful life. I faced my demon and made it through..(he's still hovering, but he doesn't scare me any more).

You will get through this...and when you do you will be a stronger person for what you have gone through and faced. And you will be able to help someone else who will be where you were. It's dark where you are right now... but there is light if you reach for it.

Get help talk to a professional...you don't have to feel this way. And if you want to check out my art at WWW.Followyourartgallery.com please do and drop me an email to let me know how you are doing.

Take care and God bless

Answer 6

I'm sorry you're in this state of mind! You have to see a psychiatrist soon because this is the best time of your life. You're young and you don't want to waste it because life's too short. You should pick up a hobby as well. In the process, you will improve your mental state and maybe meet a nice boy.

Answer 7

You are just going through a rough patch and we all get them. Some are worse than others. You can write me if you want and we can talk more.

I have been where you are and you just need to keep going because you never know what the new day will bring. Just get through the day and don't worry about the future until it happens.

I don't know you but I still care about you.

Answer 8

hi i kow what your going through and i know how it wanting to doe right now but the point is that thats not the way to get out of things. i got depressed when my fiance' left to go train for the national guard and i was pregnate at the time and i didnt wasnt to have a baby but i goe through it eventually and now my husband went ti iraq and i am having a harder time dealing with these emotional things andi just want to die to. more than ever, i dont want to deal with this kind of pain anymore, so i know how you feel, wanting to die. i feel like that to.

Answer 9

Your life kinda sounds like mine,i have no one to help me,i struggle to make ends meet everyday and i have a daughter i'm 21 my baby's daddy is a prick wh ***** with my emotions and im depressed right now and don't know what to do.Maybe we can lift each other up a little,go to my profile and email me and we'll talk,maybe we even live close to each other.

Answer 10

I know exactly where you are coming from. I'm in the same situation...If you need someone to talk to, feel free to talk to me. Sometime's its a little easier to talk to someone who doesn't know you, they can't make you feel worse with the "i told you so"s and such. I don't know much about your situation but I feel for you. I hope it gets better.