We've been married for 9 years. No children together. I have two grown kids from a previous marriage, and 5 grandchildren ages 16 - 8 years old. During the past, he was verbally abusive, but I told myself it's because he has MS taking several different pills. Lately though it's gotten worse. If I go to the store he calls me at least 10 times, and asks me who I'm with, am I having fun giving someone a B___J. Last week we were at my daughter's house, I got up to use the restroom, when I opened the door to come out, he was standing outside of the door, asking me who I was talking to. (I've never cheated by the way). I went to a Dr.'s appointment today, he was mad because I said that I would go by myself. He called me constantly until I got to the office, and timed me, how long it took me to drive home. Then he told me not to bother coming home, that I should go and give my boyfriend what he wanted. I'm so stressed. I don't want to live with my kids. I start a new job next week.
2006-10-18 07:34:50 · 14 answers · asked by Nor 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Let me be the first to inform you: your phone as an OFF switch! Use it. When you get home and he starts yelling at you, tell him with a straight face, "But my boyfriend was so long and hard and delicious that I just couldn't stop to answer the phone!" Oh, and, next time he gets physical with you, call the police.
2006-10-18 07:43:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing can ruin a relationship faster than jealously. Jealousy creates anxiety, anger, loneliness, hate, fear. No one thinks clearly when jealous. Jealousy will often change to the non valiant abuse.
Having a relationship with a jealous person is tough. The jealous person acts untrusting or unworthy. Jealousy makes the person unattractive, even repulsive.
Jealousy comes about because of the insecurity of the jealous person and the jealousy may or may not have foundation. This person is afraid of hidden communication lines and will do anything to try to uncover them.
Maybe some counseling will helpt. Couples counseling is very successful if both parties are willing to attend and really work on the relationship. If you have been together that long, I would say it's worth a try.
2006-10-18 07:41:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds as though he's losing his marbles. This is highly unnatural and you can't wait around and just let this continue. You may not want to live with your kids but frankly, they are your kids and if you discuss it with them I'm sure they'll understand. besides you don't strike me as the type that would be there long anyway, preferring your own privacy in your own place.
Im sorry sweetie...but the guy is bad news and being unreasonable. You have to look out for your own sanity. No matter what you say or do...he's mean and angry and just plain wacked. These are the guys that wait for you in bed with a pistol and when you walk in the door, plugs you and then kills himself. He has MS...he's dying slowly. What has he got to loose. especially if this rage and paranoia boils over into homicide/suicide. Don't say "Not to me it will". The cemeteries are full of women who said the same.
Good luck and get out while you can.
2006-10-18 07:43:40 · answer #3 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out of the relationship now while you're still alive! Sorry to scare you, but its so clear!
I was with a man for two years who did the same thing. When it was in full force i was being beat everyday. I would look black to you know if it weren't for the fact that bruises fade. I still have scars on my body from being thrown on the ground, or having something thrown at me, that I have to see everyday, and unfortunately remind me of him. I wasn't allowed to wear any of my nice (not revealing, but femine) clothes. I had to wear baggy t-shirts and sweatpants (even my jeans were questionable to him). I wasn't "allowed" to see my best girl friend, who at the time, lived RIGHT NEXT DOOR to us, even with him knowing. I couldnt even speak to other men, only a few of his guy friends, and only a hi or how are you. If he HAD to be apart, I would receive call after call, text after text, asking me why I didn't answer who i was with. Is this how you want to live??? Living with MS does not mean hurting all those around you, specifically the woman you married. I know someone whose had it for 7 years now and they are actually quite sweet.
It's time to think about yourself - and more importantly your future. I know the kind of stress that you're under and it is exhausting. You don't want this situation escalating into something more than it already is. Pack your bags while hes out and move in with the kids. Trust me, they will understand and love you more than he ever has. He doesn't even know what "love" is. Good luck girl!
2006-10-18 08:07:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sounds like you still really care for him? But i think he has some sort of mental disorder. Will he go see a Dr. ? maybe the MS meds have screwed up his chemical balance. He needs some help. Tell him you are willing to help and you love him, better do something soon or it will be too late for you guys.
2006-10-18 08:17:45 · answer #5 · answered by carpet man 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like u need to get out. You can only blame behavior on an illness for so long and there's help out there but he needs to want it. Frankly it sounds like he got his therapy, bashing you every day, putting you down, threatning you. So who's suffering now. Only you can end this. Get out, get out now before your kids get the call. What would satisfy him the most making YOUR loved ones suffer and by losing you thats what would happen to them. Im sorry for being so blunt but someone needs to remind you that no matter who you care for, you need to protect yourself. Let the professionals deal with him!!
Good luck and god bless
2006-10-18 08:52:13 · answer #6 · answered by Super Shan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh no , couldn't live like that! even though the medication could be making him a lil' moody and the ms getting him down with depression. and even trying to be understanding of all his insecruities , i would have to reach a boiling point sometime. he is just scared of loosing you and in the long run will be driving you away. have you ever done anything to make him dought you so?
2006-10-18 07:40:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That guy is horrible! leave him, what a paronoid man!!!!! he's not worth all those worries, just talk to your kids, it might be tyring to go to your kids, but after all they are your family and you raised them, they'll probably understand and help you.
What if one of these days your husband decides to stop yelling and starts hitting?!!! be careful and leave him!
2006-10-18 07:42:09 · answer #8 · answered by Sandy R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
idk, stop committing adultery. stop flirting with different adult men, as for the sin of masturbation, in basic terms he can p.c. to stop. he needs to study teh bible. those that look upon women human beings and lust after them, or burn with lust, which would be a metaphor for describing masturbation, such human beings won't come forth int he first resurrection. yet another ingredient, i heard it from Dr Laura. if the spouse takes greater extreme and diligent attempt to notice her husband, you could stroke his ego and domesticate have confidence. its a non secular basic actuality, if the husband trusts his spouse and her intentions , he will strengthen in greater love and be greater affectionate.
2016-12-26 22:34:17 · answer #9 · answered by chatterton 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get out of that relationship. Try talking to him if that doesn't work, I would leave. No one needs to be insulted like that.......Good Luck
2006-10-18 07:41:40 · answer #10 · answered by fiestylady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋