How would you respond?

Question

You are married for the 2nd time to someone who was also married before. During a random conversation about what went wrong in your previous relationships, your spouse tells you "Well, I always knew she was just too pretty for me." (Guys...let's say it's your wife and she says "Well, I knew he was just too hot for me."

How do you respond?

Answer 1

Honestly, it would kind of piss me off. I mean, he's implying that you're a)not as pretty as she was, and b)unattractive enough so he feels comfortable. (First of all, let me say that I'm sure that's not true at all.) Now, whether he meant for it to come out like that or not, it's out there now, and you're feeling pretty bummed that you are apparently just pretty enough for him, no more, no less. Here's what you do:
First, ask him what he means when he says she's "too pretty." Does he mean that she has a very high idea of her looks and uses them to flirt with other guys all the time? Does it mean that being pretty made her act stuck-up? Or does he really truly mean that she's "too pretty" and he gets uncomfortable just being around her? (By the way, I've never heard a guy cite being too pretty as a cause for a break-up, unless the girls looks were the cause of something more severe like infidelity or being a total bee-yotch.)
After he explains exactly what he means, you'll have a better idea of whether to be mad about this or not. You can always diffuse the situation with a joke, like, "Oh, well it's a good thing I'm only marginally attractive, or this marriage would NEVER work!" If he's a good guy, he'll get the hint that he hurt your feelings and apologize like a madman. But don't be surprised if the sting lasts for a while anyway.

Finally- dress in the outfit that makes you feel your absolute sexiest, with full makeup and high heels- whatever you want to do. Don't do it for him, though, do it for you! When he compliments you (and he will), just be like, "Well, I just hope I'm not 'too pretty' for you." Bonus: every time you joke about it, he'll feel like an idiot. Cheers!

Answer 2

I guess I would ask more questions about why that issue went wrong for him. Maybe she got all the attention in the relationship, or from other men and he was jealous about it. FInd out more...

Look at Jennifer Anniston and Brad Pitt - she seems more comfortable with a guy like Vince Vaughan who isn't such a "pretty boy".. Really - I don't think it's a bad thing.

My husband was married before...his exwife was a bit overweight and had low self esteem issues. During their marriage - she lost a ton of weight and made herself over and decided she didn't need him anymore when she suddenly got lots of attention.

I am not sure if this is helping at all, but it seems like you seem a little insulted by what he said...and I don't think he meant it as a slight against you ----but you need to keep the issue going until you fell it's settled. Or just decide to drop it - he's with you now!
:)

Answer 3

I dun know if my reply suits u or not...... I'm in reality a mad person.. At first may be i would react harshly but as u know n every1 know that a married couple has a long long life to go... I would ask him or her humbly that if your statement is this true then y u really bothered to b with me.... N tell me if he/she comes back then what would u do??? I can understand sis what u really felt but may i tell u???... Its not that easy to let your life partner go that easily. I hope its vivid to u but trust me... Dun spoil ur relation ship.... Give it some time.

Be patient... If u take any kind of decision in hurry then surely it would be harmful. I hop u know what i mean.... Overall I would never respond in a negative way. But if it gets too much then i would leave it to GOD.

Keep deep faith in God. HE will surely help u. Take care. Good Luck!!!

Answer 4

OUCH! That hurts! I had a similar thing happen to me in my first marriage. My husband of only 1 yr. told me he had always imagined himself ending up with a petite blonde. I'm a tall brunette. I wish I could tell you how I got over it but the truth is that I never did. It was one of several things that eventually led to the demise of that marriage. Words like that just can't be taken back. I'm not saying it's not in one's power to forgive of the hurt but it's near impossible to forget it. I would be curious to know how you DID respond. I certainly don't think I handled it well.

God bless you!

Answer 5

Pause....take a slow sip of your drink. Then take a drag from your cigarette and as the smoke is curling out from your nostrils you look up slowly and say "Would you care to expand upon that comment? Because I'd sure like to hear more".

Done correctly and even the ice in your drink will start to shiver.

Answer 6

not saying too much of what you think about your partner now. he or she must not be too hot for the other. does it feel comfortable around each other now? how would i respond to this , i guess first i would be a lil' hurt , with him thinking his ex wife was better looking that me. i would go more along the lines now of changing the subject!

Answer 7

It sounds a little immature to say in front of you - but on the other hand, it's kind of nice that he's not ripping her up and down - if that's the worst thing he can say about her, that's kinda cool.

Answer 8

If my husband said that I would laugh. We are both on our second marriage, he actually tells me that he is not good enough for me. It sounds like the guy has low self esteem. Just nod and go on.

Answer 9

I think id say something like "Im so sorry Ive disappointed you with my looks, dont feel obligated to sleep in the bed with this ugly old thing anytime in the near future"......one of THE most inconsiderate comments I think Ive ever heard.

Answer 10

Break out the pen and say, "Sign these papers, mister, cause I'm too pretty for you, too!"

Joking aside, maybe he has self esteem issues. Maybe he's crazy. Ask him what he meant.