We've been broken up for 4 yrs now. And he's never been there for my kids, But I get angry anyway. What does this mean?
2006-10-18 06:53:18 · 39 answers · asked by sunshine 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't think you are angry over his having another baby with another woman, you are more angry for your kids and the fact that he was not there for them, not yourself and probably not jealousy. I did the same thing, until I seen his daughter (who happened to look like our youngest). Anyway, I called her "little (insert my kids name here)" and after that my angry feelings went away.
2006-10-18 06:57:19 · answer #1 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If He Is Back To Normal Then You Shouldn't Worry To Much Maybe Take Him To The Doctors For a Quick Check Just In Case. Your Husband Should Be Supporting After Something Like This Has Happened Give Him Time He Might Come Round. So What If You Were Supposed To Be Watching The Baby You Are Obviously Tired And Need Rest He Should Help If He Had You Might Not Of Dosed Off And It Wouldn't Have Happened!! Good Luck <3
2016-05-21 23:52:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I c where u're comin from. It's not jealousy; it's possessiveness. Also not a great emotion, however. A part of u is perhaps still grieving 4 ur relationship (I know it's been 4 yrs, but u do have kids by him), & a part of u is probably goin 2 b resentful if he plays the dutiful dad 2 the new baby, as he shirked his responsibilities where urs r concerned.
Try 2 deal wiv the anger by not lettin it well up inside u. Talk 2 some1 if u can, but b wary of people who'll only lecture u. U invested alot in this man, & he will affect ur feelings 4 a long time yet. But only if u let him. Try 2 rebuild ur own life, & not fixate on his (said in the nicest possible way)
Good luck, x
2006-10-18 07:02:52 · answer #3 · answered by viv friend 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It does show some type of jealousy. That is understandable. You feel left out. (If not just you but the children you had with him to). You feel that he should be fathering your children. He should be there for them no matter what happened between the two of you. Now that you got this news it is upsetting that he has another child that he will be spending his time with and taking care of also. You feel like your children are outcasts.
All of this is normal. It is not in your control and this bothers you. It is ok to feel upset.
(My husband and I have a 6 month old together.) Right after I had my son... his ex wife became pregnant. This is her way to express her feelings on our situation. My husband keeps up with his daughter though. His ex wife would play games... and when his daughter was on restriction "she couldn't come to our house that weekend because she was on restriction" ... that kind of stuff. She always said she couldn't have any more children... then later she would tell her daughter she only wanted her.. That she completed her life.. and she wanted all her attention on her. (12 years later she is pregnant.)
I don't mind she is pregnant. If that is something they wanted then that is great... His daughter is happy that she is going to have a sister.
I do feel that she got the "I want a baby" after my husband and I had ours though.
Enough about my story... Just be there for your kids.. even if their dad is not. Let them know they are loved more than enough. They will see their dads ways as they get older. Let them figure it out. You just be there for them.
Try to shake off these hard feelings with him. It will take time but just try. You don't deserve to be unhappy because of what he is doing now.
2006-10-18 07:05:13 · answer #4 · answered by Keith Perry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm going to have to be different from most people here, because I don't think it's jealousy. Jealousy would mean you have positive feelings for your ex, and that you want him for yourself. I don't think so. I think that the reason you are angry is because the situation is so unfair it makes you furious. He's never been there for your kids, but he now has a new baby. If he was never there for yours, why does it seem that he wants another child? I think you're a mother who is angry for the sake of her poor, fatherless children.
2006-10-18 07:03:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be jealousy because you want him to be there for his children, it doesn't necessarily mean that you still have feelings for him though. But you still need to heal, and you secretly wish he would help you out with his share of the responsibility. I'm sure you are mad because how can he have another kid with another women when he isn't even willing to take care of the ones he has now?
Just concentrate on forgiveness and letting go, it will better for your health cause believe me he probably isn't concerned about your feelings. So do it for yourself and you should be good. Also, don't listen to the rude ***** at the top, your feelings are normal.
2006-10-18 06:58:46 · answer #6 · answered by Rae 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am in the exact same situation and I don't think it is jealousy. It is anger. It is hatred (at least on my part). and it could be part pity for the new child.My ex never sees our children and now he is all excited about starting over with a new baby. Men like this are pigs...they can't finish what they start and they always expect everyone else to clean up their mess while they go play with new people. In my experience, he will just screw up again and another innocent child will suffer.
2006-10-18 07:07:05 · answer #7 · answered by babe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It means you are a MOM!!! And Mom's always get bent out of shape when someone is shytting on their kids!! Which is exactly what it sounds like happened here. Unfortunately, if he is a deadbeat dad to YOUR kids, there's nothing you can do, but try to sue him for $ every chance you get. Other than that, I would just try to let it go. You can't change anything now. If your kids are better off w/out him in their life (and it sounds like they are), then move on. Heck, try to find them a new dad! :) There are guys out there that will step up to the plate and do the job! If he's not one of them, then you're wasting your energy being angry at him. Just move on, and leave him and his business in your past.
2006-10-18 07:03:30 · answer #8 · answered by Jenintn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel sorry for this new baby - if he isn’t there for you’re (and his children) chances are he will be the same with his new child… You might still angry and bitter the relationship with his didn’t work out… and its ok to feel that way.
Be grateful, loving and supportive of you children and be happy they have you. its unfortunate that their father and cant be a real father to them… try to encourage him to be involve in some way – school functions, birthdays, holidays, fathers day, at least? And make sure he is helping to financially support his children too.
2006-10-18 07:02:12 · answer #9 · answered by string1dm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its normal if he is not there for your kids hes just and awfull man and you can use your energy to teach those wonderfull bundles that they didn't deserve to be treated that way .. how do they feel about it . it is natural to be upset at first but improving your Own situation in your realm hobbies activities with your children continuing your education and trying things you have always wanted to try will keep your attention in the right direction , have a positive impact on you and will teach your children about self worth dignity and will help you all recover ... feel bad for that woman boy is she might be in your situation some day lets hope not pray for her for you your children and hey him too .!!!!!!!!!!! having a circle of mothers to help out is great networking give each othe support encouragement and baby sitting trading so you can advance your situation hey you will be the better person and parent for it lots of love to you and the little ones
2006-10-18 07:25:01 · answer #10 · answered by dancfan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋