How do you reassure her?

Question

My wife, I love her to death, but she will cry for no apparent reason. I think it's more because she is afraid of what the future might bring. However, that doesn't bother me. But more or less the fact that, she keeps asking me if i'm mad at her and i never am. Or she will ask me if i still love her. Or, she will ask me if i'm going to leave her. And I tell her that i love her, I'm never mad at her, and that i won't leave her. But she keeps asking..What should i do? (Please be polite)

Answer 1

Just be really kind to her and confirm the fact that you love her always . I know that i was abused in my first 2 ,marriages and my husband now knows that and he reassures me all the time that he loves me for ever and he is never mad at me. Just keep reaffirming that you love her that is all you can do. good luck and god bless you.

Answer 2

Sounds like you really care and are very patient. Could she be pregnant? As a woman, sometimes certain times of the month are very emotional.
Was her dad an active part in her life? What were her role models as far as men are concerned? Was there some past abuse (emotionally or physically)? Something is going on that has her fearful of abandonment or not being good enough to be loved. You can show and tell her that you love her and hopefully she will see that her fears are unfounded. But if she continues, maybe having her talk to a counselor, pastor, or someone that can help her with her emotional understanding. She may not even know exactly why she has these doubts. What does she do with her time? She may need an outlet to feel that she is needed. Where you live, find out if there is an organization that needs volunteers. Homeless shelters, battered women shelters, afterschool programs, the library reading programs, and senior citizen homes, etc. She just may need something to make her see that she has something to offer. Let her know that she is loved & needed!!!

Answer 3

I know what you mean, my guy does this also but not the crying part he too ask me all the time if I love him and will I leave him. I tell him over and over the same answers. It can kidda get frustrating but we both decide to see a counselor because I know he can get insecure at time because of the past relationship he has been in. It's just they have been hurt to many times in the past so now they have someone who is great and don't want to ever end they get the mentality of "to good to be true", and you have to show that yes there still are good people out there. Be patient with her and bring up counseling for the two of you. Good luck!

Answer 4

your wife seems to have some low self esteem. You can "reassure" her all you want, it's not going to work. She needs to feel confident from within. Go to counseling through your church. Get involved in things as a couple. Something she is good at. If she finds something she enjoys and is good it at, that's a step in the right direction. Does she work? Do you have kids? If you don't have children, maybe she might want to volunteer somewhere? I do think that some sort of counseling is best though. Do the counseling together or have her go alone AND find an activity together. Good luck.

Answer 5

Hi!
You are very sincere! well, just the fact that you say your Wife is insecure about something, OK, I take it you have tried to ask her why she feels the way she does, am I right?
Now, if she cries for no reason, you will need to take her to Counseling and go with her, as these people who specialize in this area, can "draw" the problems out in time.
There IS a reason she is feeling unsure of herself. But, with you being there and talking to her, AND keep reassuring her as you are, eventaully everything will become clear!

Just note, I was like this before with my family and loved ones, and for me, I was low on self-esteem, and I had some depression, as things came out, but, I took steps to better myself and now, with time, I have turned out a different person.

Counseling REALLY does help and is nothing to be scared of.
Your lady is reaching out to you, so help her all you can, and Bless you both!!!!!!

Answer 6

Just keep reassuring her, but WITHOUT her asking. Do special things for her, make sure it's something SHE would consider special. Reminesce about an earlier time in your relationship (trust me ALL women love this.....loll.....I know I do anyway). Laugh about things from earlier on in your relationship. Once she realizes that you are totally in love, that you will be around for as long as she wants you to be, then all will be well. But if you've been doing this for years and years and years, then maybe next step is to go with her to a counsellor and find out what is going on with her. I know low self-esteem, I have one, but I don't pressure my guy quite like yours is doing. Sometimes, counsellors are about the only thing that can help someone. Wish you luck with your wife.

Answer 7

I agree witg previous answers that doing small things and providing reassurance wihtout being asked can be helpful. However, I also agree that counseling may be necessary. To help you both, you (and she) need to understand *why* she feels so insecure. What is it that makes her so afraid that you will leave, etc? Is it bad relationships in the past? Something else? Try--very gently--to ask questions and try to get to these reasons for her insecurity. The benefit of a counselor is that they devote their lifetimes to those sorts of conversations, and they will have tools to help her to feel happy and secure, and to help you both as a couple to communicate.

Answer 8

This might be a good time for you to start asking some question. There might be some under lying things she is doing and you are not aware of. Then she feels the guilt once she sees you. Do your own investigation work so you can be better prepared to answer the question the next time she ask.

Answer 9

You need to hold her and tell her you'll do everything you can to protect her. Take little steps to insure her safety. Check her tires on her car, make sure her wiper blades are always working...little things like that. Make sure the home is secure and just tell her sometimes during a hug "I'm so lucky". Make sure you make good financial moves, to insure your lives together.

Answer 10

Sounds like a case of the insecurities and lack of confidence. Unfortunately, you can't change that for her. She has to do it all by herself. Just be the wonderful person you seem to be. Instead of just telling her, maybe you need to show her.