Ok so if you didnt read my last question so I just reasently told myhusband that I cheated on him when we were seperated. I know it was wrong and i didnt deserve another chance but lucky for me he is giving me one. My concern is that he wants me to call this other guys wife and tell her what is going on or what happened now of course I dont want to do this but my husband says it will help him heal. What do you think should I tell her or should I just leave it alone? My vote is to just leave it alone. This guy has kids he would be losing alot more than a marrage.
2006-10-18 06:34:27 · 15 answers · asked by JOJO 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'd leave it alone. The issue is between that guy and his wife....hopefully he'll do the right thing, but it's not really up to you and your hubby to decide what's best for this guy, his wife, and his marraige.
Sounds like maybe your husband is trying to hurt them back? A kind of revenge thing? Not that I blame him for feeling hurt, but revenge never solves anything.
2006-10-18 06:38:48 · answer #1 · answered by Sheik Yerbouti 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutly not. You were seperated so what you did was not wrong it was just wrong that you did it with a married man.
Telling this mans wife could ruin there relationship and all that is going to do is hurt the children. Does your husband really want you to wreck the marriage and make it in end divorce and of course what happens to the children. Let it be and don't make the call.
2006-10-18 13:39:17 · answer #2 · answered by Mike 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ahhhhhh, the old misery loves company game. The person that should tell her should be her own husband, if he is not willing to do this, I don't feel it is your responsibility. You took care of your duty to your relationship that is all you need to do. This woman will be devasted, besides, if her husband is this type of person, she will find out sooner or later. It is just a matter of time. Your husband needs to be thankful that you came forward and were honest. The healing should take place eventually without hurting someone else. He has to understand that you were seperated at the time, it's not the same situation for this poor woman .
2006-10-18 13:43:21 · answer #3 · answered by june clever 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess your husband wants his wife to feel what he is feeling hurt, shame and embarrassment. I don't blame him, but it's not your place to tell her, it's her husbands. Nine times out of ten she is not going to believe you anyway. She is going to need to hear it from her husband. I say leave it be and if he can't understand that then you all have a lot to talk about and work through.
It's too bad that the other guy has kids, but he should have thought about that when he was cheating with you. If he loses them it's his own fault and he'll have to deal with that.
2006-10-18 13:41:58 · answer #4 · answered by Gigi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sometimes we can't control the reaction of others, so these emotions and feelings can vary from bad to extremely critical. (hope u know wat i mean) It's more than just hurt feelings or healing you are dealing with. It could well go out of hand. I'd seriously whole-heartedly hope u would not tell the wife. As a woman, we know it's more difficult hearing such things from someone else rather than a loved one.
2006-10-18 13:53:07 · answer #5 · answered by salut 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your hubby is a sicko that is the worst thing i ever heard hubby wants revenge ,,,he wants this guy you were with to pay by having you tell his wife your hubby knows wants going to happen thats what he want its called pay back by ruining someone elses marriage,,,do not do this your hubby is full of **** when he says it will help him heal yea sure it by ruining some one elses marriage sureilll
2006-10-18 13:49:22 · answer #6 · answered by COOKIE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stirring up a live bee's nest would cause everyone to get stung. Some people would get over it and others could have a serious allergic reaction. So, I would say to leave well enough alone!
2006-10-18 13:51:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if i was you id leave it alone because telling this girl would make things worse for u and u never know what will happen. If u leave it alone i think it would just go away after a while
2006-10-18 13:37:45 · answer #8 · answered by cutest_chick_of_2004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yikes!!
You're husband is using YOU to be passive aggressive against someone else...watch out that's VERY dangerous.
Tell your hubby even though he think it's going to help heal, it won't. It's going to cause more damage than good. If he wants to heal, seek a counsellor, both of you.
2006-10-18 13:45:12 · answer #9 · answered by adrian_biccum 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now your husband is being the stupid one. leave it. Tell him he has to be happy with the healing as is. If he can't then he's being a typical as*.
You admitted your mistake and have assured him you'd make amends. Now he attaches another caveat to it? Nothing doing. He's a vengeful, spiteful stiff.
2006-10-18 13:41:34 · answer #10 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋