Do I leave or do I stay? PLEASE HELP? Please ONLY SERIOUS answers!?

Question

I dont know what to do? I have been with the same guy for just about 4 yrs. We were together before for a year and then seperated for a year adn got back together & got married (we have been married for over 2 yrs now). He is a raelly GREAT guy and treats our children very well! However, for some reason I feel unhappy. I have felt like this now for about 6 months. I cant kiss him or be intatmate w/out feeling sick to my stomach. He is EVERYTHING I could ask for in a relationship but for some reason I am not attracted to him anymore! He does have some bad habits but so does everyone else. I recently meet w/ my high school sweetheart (who I was w/ for 3 yrs), and ever since that day I feel like I want to be with him. I know for sure that I still LOVE him and he still loves me. We have talked about wanting to really get back together. He is married and so am I! But ever since that one day with him, I have been totally depressed and cry a lot! And wnat to be with him so bad!!

I have felt distnace from my husband for atleast 6 months now, but no it is worse. Do you think things will get better with my husband or is it really time to end things! I dont know what to do! My hubby does everything he can to keep me happy but I still am not happy. I feel selfish for feeling that way!

Answer 1

do what is right for you,good luck

Answer 2

There is no way someone can answer this for you. However, I think it would be a rash decision to end things with your husband and immediately try and get together with your old flame. First things first - you need to talk to your husband openly about the way you have been feeling for the past few months. Also keep in mind that it may be something else stressful in your life that is happening that is causing you to take your feelings out on your husband. It would not be fair for you to end it with him without first letting him know what's going on and trying to work it out......if after all this, you still feel this way, then maybe you should consider other options. However, keep in mind that there are other people involved in this situation besides you. Do what is best for yourself, but also do it in a way where there will be less pain on everyone involved.

Answer 3

You always want what you can't have. Maybe counseling would help you feel better about your life. To leave you husband and children would be an awful thing to do. I know of a woman who did just that a short time ago to be with her high school sweetheart. Left her children, too. That and leaving your caring, loving husband is so selfish. And selfishness and motherhood do not go together.
ADD: About the people saying "follow your heart". You made a PROMISE to this man who treats you so well as you said. It's no wonder the divorce rate is so high. It is mind blowing the amount of people that are telling you to "just go with your heart. Your marriage is getting hard, so screw the promises you made and move on and make yourself happy." Everyone's looking out for only themselves anymore and what THEY want. That sucks.....

Answer 4

My husband and I have been together for eight years. I have learned that, through all we have been through, that being honest with each other is key. Those feelings your having may not even be about him but rather something going on inside of you. Maybe you are just not happy with where you are right now in your life.
Either way, I would let the old flame go....getting back together does not mean you are going to go back in time and have the wonder and love of high school love again....and concentrate on your kids and other activities outside of the home that make you feel more whole.
Once you are happy with yourself and a busy person, then reevaluate.
By then, it may be easier to decide.
Through the past eight years my husband and I have had a lot to deal with and a lot thrown our way. We don't always feel like we know the answers but I always feel I can turn to him and share and he helps me find them.

Answer 5

Stay with the Man whom you married and in whom you committed your undying love.

The feelings you are experiencing is only an emotion, and a desire to have something which you currently do not have, possibly only the fact that your high school sweetheart is different, and you are in need of some kind of change.

If you give into your selfish desires to have another person to appease your emotions, you will only invoke the negative emotions in your family through there pain and suffering of the loss of your family unit.

Often it is better to think you want someone, than to actually have them, and sometimes those whom have someone, loose appreciation in those whom they have so easily gained there trust, and confidence, and love.

Possibly if you try looking at yourself not in a mirror, but through the eyes of your children, then you could realize the devastating consequences your actions will bring upon them, and through your love then for your children you may possibly be capable of exploring all of the avenues to strengthening your relationship with your current husband, and not letting an outsider come between you.

Answer 6

You say he is a great guy...and he is great to the kids...but....You need to figure out what is turning you off...it may not even be him...it may be you. Marriage is hard...and it can get boring...maybe you are looking for something that is already there...Work on your marriage...don't just drop it for some guy...who is married....that makes no sense...to many people involved - and kids...now you need to think of everyone involved....you got married for a reason...love I hope...if he is a good man...your lucky. If you need excitement with him...make some...you may just be in a rut....
You know the answer. You don't know why your depressed...it may really be you...maybe your hormones are off...or something...go see a doctor and check...our minds can play tricks on us...maybe your Depression is causing this...and your looking for a reason....to feel a way that you can't even help...maybe it isn't your husband. Think about it.

Answer 7

6 months is not a long time to feel unfulfilled in the scope of family life. There could be multiple reasons or issues for your dissatisfaction with life, including depression. There is also the possibility that you are feeling trapped in your current situation, wondering what might have been. By all means, DO NOT GIVE INTO THESE FEELINGS HASTILY!

I have been married for 4 years now, and one or two years into the relationship, I felt very unhappy--and it lasted a long time. Not specifically unhappy with my husband, he has always been steady and wonderful with me. I confessed to him how I felt, I took trips back to my hometown and to see friends and relatives on the weekends, and being apart from my spouse helped me realize all the things he adds to my life. He and I worked together to make life better for the both of us. I acknowleged the fact that I might be suffering from depression and stress, and we made changes to help fight those feelings off.

If I had left when my marriage began to get difficult, I would not have the wonderful, secure, and strong relationship I enjoy today. There were days when all that stopped me was my belief in the vows I took--and I'm so glad I was able to discipline myself and talk things out with my husband.

All in all, I believe it would be a mistake for you to leave your relationship and family over a feeling of regret and dissatisfaction. You should seek counselling and perhaps see your general practioner for some help. Take your husband with you, and be honest. You have a life, children, and marriage with this man, and whether you feel 100% invested in your marriage, you need to give him a chance to fix what has gone wrong, and you need to respect him enough to stay with him while you figure things out. If he truly loves you, and it sounds like he does, he'll be willing to do just about anything to make things right for you.

And, after a long time of hard work and open, honest communication, you still feel that this marriage isn't working? Then you can leave. But please, don't run right into another relationship, out of respect to yourself, your husband, your children and the next man in your life. (And in this case, his wife.) You need to be happy with yourself before you can give yourself over to another relationship--a new man won't fix what's wrong with YOU.

Here's hoping you find peace in your life, for you, your husband, and your children.

Answer 8

I believe you're looking at your high school sweetheart with rose colored glasses. Have you tried to spend time with your husband without the normal every day ocurrances? I'm not married but from what I've seen with my friends and family everybody at some point doubts whether they should still be with the person they married. You're thinking of the now, but look into the future and what could happen not only in your life, but your children's.

Answer 9

You probably feel that way about your husband because you were with your highschool sweetheart, I don't think it would be fair to do that to your husband if he treats you good and loves you.. Have you ever lived with this other guy? how do you know for sure it will work out with him are you sure it's not lust with your highschool sweetheart? What happens if you leave your husband get with this other guy and he turnd out to be a total jerk.. then you lost a good man (your husband).. You need to be asking yourself all these questions...Ask yourself would it be worth it in the long run..Is this what you really want?
GOOD LUCK..

Answer 10

I think you should stay with your husband and try to make things work. He sounds like a great guy and he loves you. Mrriage is for better or for worse. I think everyone who's married feels like they wanna "get out" sometimes but strong couples stick through it and try to work things out. Pray and ask God to help you. He has the answer to EVERYTHING you wanna know. Good Luck to a happy marriage. You may THINK you want to be with the other guy, but it may not be all that it's cracked up to be. He may have changed a whole lot. If you got a good man , then I suggest that you keep it. The other guy may not be as good. WHo knows, his wife may be going through pure hell with him. Would you want to go through that or be with a man who gives you the world?

Answer 11

I think you need to grow up. You are married and so is he. If you two are serious about each other.. get divorces and move on. You are being totally unfair right now as you are not being honest with the husband you have. Are you sure its not just the excitement that you miss? Try putting some back into the relationship you have first and if that doesn't work. Move on.