My niece of 23 steals every chance she gets, and then lies about it. She steals money and other valuables from my mother and takes my prescription drugs, no matter where I hide them, she finds them. She is so good she can steal from you right in front of you and you can't see her. She has been doing this for many years. Whenever she is caught or accussed she goes off on a fit, so, my family placates her and pretends they believe her just to shut her up. She takes lots of drugs and does and says mean and stupid things. She has Hep C and recently found out she has stage 3 uterine cancer. I have been wanting to confront her and tell her that she has lost all respect and losing love from the family because her lies are almost worse than her stealing. I just wish when I caught her the other day, she would have confessed. It's pathetic, but, I don't know if now is the right time, because I'm soo mad at her and because she might not be around much longer. What should I say to her?
2006-10-18 06:01:44 · 21 answers · asked by melodyzsong214 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
First of all uterine cancer is not a death sentence. Secondly, I know exactly where you are at. I have a neice that is exactly like her. She is also a pathological liar. She lies when the truth would be much easier to tell. What we eventually ended up doing was forbidding her from coming to our house. My husband just told her bluntly that she was no longer welcome because she is a thief and what's ours is not hers. What you need to do is convince the rest of your family to do the same thing. If she sees that her behavior is alienating her from the rest of the family she might change. And if she doesn't then at least no one has to worry about being robbed blind.
2006-10-18 06:08:48 · answer #1 · answered by tommygirl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Look, I grew up with a mother that stole lied and did much worse for drugs. Thankfully I don't do any drugs and have a semi healthy happy life. But just because she may not be around much longer does not mean that she gets to get away with hurting people. She needs to be an adult and fess up to her crimes. Not to the police but to her family. And then if she is really sorry she should make sure that her time left on this earth is spent making her family proud of her
2006-10-18 06:06:50 · answer #2 · answered by jennas2778 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It'll be hard to confront her , but I think you or someone should remind her of her condition & ask her if she wants to keep doing this & pushing herself farther from her friends & family at this time . About the drugs & prescriptions, lock it up somewhere. Or lock the room that they are in. No offense but at 23 , she shouldn't need to steal , she should have a job or being going to school . If all else fails, start to steal her stuff, as in belongings that she often uses to teach her that it isn't right & what it feels like to have somethign stolen.
2006-10-18 06:10:39 · answer #3 · answered by rencito 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There comes a time when enough is enough, a time where there are no more excuses. If you had an accident which resulted in you getting gangrene, what would you do ? Sadly it's exactly the same, she adds nothing to the family or even herself, no doubt you've tried everything, like a limb or extremity that has gangrene, you cut it off if you wish to live on or keep it to poison your entire body and die as the result of a bad decision.
2006-10-18 06:12:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give her a huge hug, bring her close and whisper in her ear
that the day she needs the support of her family, she's not going to get it 100%... because she needs to stop lying and stealing...
Tell her if she needs attention, she doesn't have to lie & steal.. she already has your attention because of the cancer and hep c
So stop stealing and lying to everyone.
End it with : "I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH"
2006-10-18 06:08:16 · answer #5 · answered by RUNINTLKT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she might have had a chronic compulsive disorder to steal and lie, kind of like being a shopaholic; you know you shouldn't spend any more money but you do it anyway because you can't help yourself.
sometimes you just have to forgive and forget because some people never try to correct themselves until they see the full impact of their actions.
i am assuming that her cancer is incurable, so i would suggest trying to make newer, better and happier memories with her now, so that when she does die, you won't remember a sad and broken down thief and liar, but someone you have loved and felt compassion for. This will help with any guilt (with not being able to help) that you might feel later.
2006-10-18 06:09:14 · answer #6 · answered by isc_alli 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk to her when it's just the two of you. Bring it up casually. Don't accuse her just let her know you know. She may not be around much longer anyways so let her know she should start making up for all the bad stuff she's doing. It sounds like she may be a clepto and may not even be aware she's doing it.
2006-10-18 06:07:41 · answer #7 · answered by bird_e80 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take this opertunity to let her know how you feel. But you still love her. She won't be around much longer and does she really want to spend her last years know as a lair and a theif to her family who is losing respect for her?
2006-10-18 06:05:03 · answer #8 · answered by star23grace 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what her medical condition is ...NOTHING gives her the right to lie and steal from family. If she chooses to spend the rest of her life being an assshole....I would treat her as such. SHE needs to want to have the rest of her time here pleasant. YOU need to keep it real.
2006-10-18 06:05:34 · answer #9 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Show her the door and tell her that she is no longer welcome in your home and not to come back. She is using her illness and your love as weapons against you. Have you spoken to her doctors? If she lies all the time she could be lying about that too. It's sad that these things happen, but they do. and there is nothing you can do but protect yourself.
2006-10-18 06:10:31 · answer #10 · answered by Lynn K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋