This gets a bit tricky so bare with me…
In the summer of 2002, I told my best friend that I had a crush on her, but I knew she was in love with another girl and did not want to come between them. She thought it was sweet, and we carried on our friendship as though nothing happened.
In the summer of 2004, it was my best friend’s turn to confess she had feelings for me. I had just started dating my boyfriend, who is now my fiancée. So like me she didn’t want to become between us. So I thought we could carry on our friendship as though nothing happened much like she had done with me.
I was wrong. Slowly and steadily she started to push more and more to the point that it made me highly uncomfortable. I even told her such. When my (at the time) boyfriend found out, he tried to be friends with her and help through things (he went through a similar problem a few years earlier).
She continued to manipulate and try to make something more out of our friendship.
A little more
2006-10-18 06:00:25 · 15 answers · asked by Adiens 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
If it makes you uncomfortable and you have told her that but she keeps pressing you, then no. She does not have respect for your boundaries.
2006-10-18 06:06:21 · answer #1 · answered by Tiger by the Tail 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You both claimed you didn't want to come between each other's current relationship, and yet both of you chose to tell the other about your feelings, while they were in a relationship. That sounds like something that would "come between" the couple. I know it's usually a good idea to tell someone your feelings, but in this case I think both of you were hoping or trying to break up the other's relationship. Evidently you were better at getting over the rebuff than she was.
If you have told her you are uncomfortable with her advances and she is not respecting that, I think you should distance yourself from her. But do it in a gentle way, because she can't help what she feels and will be very hurt by it. Just tell her you need to be away from her until her feelings for you subside.
2006-10-18 06:06:32 · answer #2 · answered by LisaT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I must say you are in a position that you must make a hard decision only you can make in the end!!! I personally would lay it on the line to your friend (Unless you still have those old feelings for her) that if the friendship is to continue she must stop pushing you!!! Tell her the kind of relationship you are willing to have with her and set boundaries!!! Then if she does not respect those boundaries (as you seem to have), then tell her honestly and directly that you can no longer deal with her pushing and break off the friendship totally!!! NOTE: DO NOT BE NASTY< HURT FULL, and/or HATE FULL towards her during nor after the break off!!! Tell her in the same way you would want to be told!!!
2006-10-18 06:14:54 · answer #3 · answered by xxx69forall 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't have to ask such a question. A good friendship comes between people comfortable with each other and ready to help each other.
2006-10-18 06:05:01 · answer #4 · answered by Mel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is tricky. Friends are good to have. But it sounds like you were '' special friends ''. Is you fiance aware of this aspect of your life ? That would be a big bomb to drop. I imagine that she is confused with her sexuality. It has to be hard, especially if you go both ways. If you have made your choice in your boyfriend and she can't accept it then , no, a friend she isn't. It doesn't seem like she wants to be '' friends '' anyway .
2006-10-18 06:10:04 · answer #5 · answered by rock d 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be your freind! As for you other friend, she should be able to let you be happy and you need to find out what you will be happy with. If you want to stay with your fiance she needs to respect that, if she can't - well thats it, if she cant accept your decision she can't be apart of your personal life.
Eigther way, do what will make you the happiest, not what will make someone else happy.
You deserve to have what, or who, you want.
2006-10-18 06:05:18 · answer #6 · answered by Bubbly Becky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You better decide what you want I think if you continue your relationship with her she will continue to push and sometime when you are not yourself she will get her way. Not yourself as in maybe drunk, huge fight with boyfriend etc. tell her sorry just like any ex.
2006-10-18 06:08:28 · answer #7 · answered by Nani 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, Be her friend but don't allow her to continue to minipulate you. I think if she knows "whole-heartedly" that you are uninterested and uncomfortable, she'll back off and finally get the message. Good lucK!!!, You can do it.
2006-10-18 06:06:09 · answer #8 · answered by Ms. Wizard 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you should because think about it you also put her in an awkward position you never know how she felt when you told her that you liked her you just gotta let her know how you feel and the limits to y'all friendship ant that you don't like her like that anymore.
2006-10-18 06:05:54 · answer #9 · answered by Mz.Tweety 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend needs to learn to respect your relationship. She needs to move on.
If she doesn't get the message that you are not interested in her anymore, perhaps is better to keep your distance.
2006-10-18 06:21:46 · answer #10 · answered by buddy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋