Have a relationship/sex guest ion????

Question

Help, my husband and I have been married for 4 years and together for 6. We had sex all the time like twice a day at first and now it is about 1 to 2 times a week. My husband asks me every day just about , to have sex with him but I am not in the mood the only time we really do it is when I want. sometimes I will tell him we can do it that night and then when the time comes i will say im not in the mood......................OH MY GOD IM A JERK

Answer 1

No your not a jerk, it's normal, the longer you are with someone the more comfortable you become with each other. At least that's what is supposed to happen.

As much as you will prob. hate to hear this, as you age your sex life does change to a less frequent need. You have other things in a committed relationship that sustain it as you grow together.

However, your husband needs to grow up and learn to respect your needs and wishes. In a strong relationship you need to take your partners feelings and needs into consideration.

If your not feeling up to it, he needs to respect that and leave you alone without trying to make you feel guilty.

However, you also need to take his feelings and needs into consideration. If you are saying no for no good reason you need to figure out why. If you don't have a good reason like your tired or not feeling well then there is something else wrong.

Sex is a shared experience meant to bring partners together its not a duty. If it does become a duty you begin to hate it.

I have been with my husband for 25 yrs now and we have both come to respect each others feelings and wishes. Neither of us push the other, it's something we do together when we both want to.

If you are still having issues after thinking this through and discussing both of your needs together then my suggestion would be to seek marriage councelling. You both have issues from what I see that could use a mediator to fix them.

You can get sex anywhere, when your in a loving relationship its not just sex, its making love, and that phrase says it all.

Good Luck, when two people have respect for each other and good communication you have a very powerful tool to keep a marriage together. Sex is just like the desert to a perfect dinner. You don't need it but it sure binds the relationship together when its enjoyed by both.

Answer 2

There is nothing more disappointing to a man when his wife is not into sex the way she was in the past and even more disappointing when it is promised and then you go back on your word.

It is probably the biggest reason men cheat. I too want to have sex often with my mate and am shut down often. It's very frustrating.

You are not a jerk. But I feel you need to learn to let him gently and then try to make time for him when you can. Hopefully he'll be understanding.

Just keep communicating and make sure that even if your not in the mood you at least try, sometimes moods change. If you do try and your not getting all heated up , please don't make him feel like your doing him a favor or act like you just going through the motions, try to put your game face on and work thru.

additionally try some female labido herbs sold at most drug stores to help you get in the mood.

Good luck

Answer 3

That is kind of a jerky thing to do. Even if you're not in the mood, do thing to GET in the mood. Think of if the tables were turned and you were the one wanting it all the time and he kept turning you down. That would suck to feel rejected EVERYDAY. A person can only take so much rejection, it's not just about sex, but he'll feel you don't want him anymore and will find it somewhere else. It's not fair to him or to your relationship. Tell him that you need help to "get" in the mood sometimes and not to ask you about it, just start. But be responsive if he does this or he will feel even more rejected when he tries to be intimate with you and you turn him down AGAIN. Good luck

Answer 4

OK, I feel you. Do you have kids? That can be a major wrench in a sex life!!! You have to find the "real" reason you're not wanting it before you can address/fix it. Do some soul-searching. Is he an ****** alot? Are you constantly worried about finances? Are you just too tired? Are you on birth control pills?(some of those can kill your libido). That is my problem right now, (pills), but I'm going to ask my gyn. about it and see if I can change to a different one. Tiredness is another of my problems. I'm trying to squeeze in some excercise and/or a short nap daily. One or the other may help. If all else fails....try watching some porn.!! It does wonders for me when I feel like I'd rather go to sleep. Good luck

Answer 5

No, you need some sex education. Read two books "For Yourself" and "For Each Other" both by Lonnie Barbach, THE sex therapist in the country today. Love making (I avoid the word sex) is best between couples who know each other well, and communication of what you want and how much, and when is important. These books give you both exercises to do, and hints on how to keep love alive in your marriage. Buy them both cheap from Amazon.com in paperback. Worth every dime. Could be at your house by Friday. Read them together...... :>D

Answer 6

Suggestion? Is that what you're asking?

Why aren't you in the mood? This I don't get...sex feels good, right? If it does, how could you NOT be in the mood, ever?


So either YOU don't like sex (then there is something wrong with you), or HE is no good at it (something wrong with him).

It's all about blame! Maybe you two need to try swinging, see if that does anything for you...

Answer 7

Maybe you two need to start trying new things in the sack. Or maybe he just needs to step up to the plate and pleasure you before you sticks it in. I am sure that if you felt like you would get more out of it you would want it all the time. Find your g-spot. make him work for that gold. I am really not being sarcastic. Next time he wants you tell him to do whatever it is that you want. you are not a jerk by the way, you're just human. He needs to satisfy you.

Answer 8

We don't have to be in the mood all the time but it seems there's something worrying you! Talk to him , communication is the most important thing in a relationship, explain what's wrong with you, your feelings and then solve the problem together!
Do you still love your man? Think about it!
Good luck

Answer 9

Are sex lives change when we have been marriage because our lives have we have to work pay the bills and when the babys come thats a whole different story men do think like this they come home from work and want just jump in the sack..they have nothing else to do they do not cook dinner they do not clean the house so they just want sex,,he needs to get interested in sports join the gym work overtime...some men like your hubby jump in without any romance foreplay they just do it and thats why you have no desire let him woo you romance you and then MAKE LOVE NOT JUST SEX..sureilll

Answer 10

It is not uncommon for men to want sex more than women. There are other ways to satisfy him. If you promise him, you have to come through for him in someway. As men, sex is how we judge how our relationship is going. We do not understand that your sex drive changes; his will not change for a long time. Your lack of desire only puts insecure questions in his mind...why?...what am I doing wrong?...is there someone else?...etc. You should sit down with him and calm his fears. Also, try to please him even when you are not in the mood. This is what makes us happy.