My friend has been in gay relationships for ages and not had any hang-ups about it, or homophobia directed against him. Now, however, he really wants to be with a woman, and thinks he might just have this deep fear of being intimate with one, and if he can get over the fear then he will be able to be with a woman. Is he deluding himself or is it possible to change just like that?
2006-10-18 05:55:15 · 51 answers · asked by easypeasy 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I'm experiencing something similar myself at this moment in time. For the first 30 years of my life, it seemed as though I was gay or bisexual (as I had varying degrees of intermittant attraction towards females). Recently, I'm going off the idea of guys completely, and my sphere of attraction towards females has increased filling the void left behind by guys.
During the past two years, I've been getting help for poor self-esteem, and have been dealing with a personal issue of a medical nature. Both of which have nothing to do with sexual orientation. Whether these had anything to do with it I'm not sure.
I have generally considered myself to be bisexual, and it could just be a phase but only time will tell.
I asked a similar question elsewhere, and was told of two other guys who "transitioned" to heterosexuality after being "homosexual" for years. They were both frowned upon by their gay friends, and were dismissed as freaks. None of these guys had any therapy - it just happened.
Funnily enough, I have a fear of intimacy myself. I'm going to get help for this.
2006-10-18 09:28:31 · answer #1 · answered by nemesis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's bisexual. It's hard to imagine someone just switching teams like that after having had successful experiences, unless someone he was pressured into being gay which given the society we live in with it's rampant homophobia is extremely unlikely! Or maybe he is deluding himself and is responding to some type of pressure to just try to be straight. Is there a particular woman he's interested in? Or does he just want to try a woman? Because that would make a difference. If he just wants to try the generic chick, then I suspect he's more deluding himself that he can be straight.
2006-10-18 06:08:57 · answer #2 · answered by inquiringmind 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is great pressure in todays society to pigeon hole yourself under one label or another. It is possible that your friend has always had some interest in the opposite gender but has never really aknowledged it due to taking on the gay persona. Once doing this it is just as hard to revert to heterosexual habits as it was to admit the homosexual ones, i'v had several friends go through this. Maybe your friend didn't just change his mind maybe he admitted something which has been inside of him for a long time??
I believe sexuality is more of a spectrum with heterosexual at one end and homosexual at the other, people lie somewhere between the two not simply as one or the other which seems to be preferred in todays society
2006-10-18 10:08:46 · answer #3 · answered by Atlanta 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's attracted to women and men, he's bi. Sexuality is very fluid and as a person changes emotionally, he can be open to new things and capable of looking at the world in a way he never did before. We are all bi. It's just that society influences and pressures us to conform to the label of heterosexuality, so we grow up thinking we're comfortable only being physically expressive with the opposite sex. If you're open minded, you can enjoy intimacy with anyone, no matter what the body parts are involved.
Your friend should trust his heart. That will always lead you in the right direction.
2006-10-18 06:00:20 · answer #4 · answered by grrluknow 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think the whole question of sexuality is a hazy issue. Defining ourselves has become the hip thing but i think too many people are declaring themselves gay or straight without understanding a)what those terms mean and
b) who they are as a person and what they really want.
I think your friend maybe going through a lil identity crisis. the best way for them to figure it out is to understand their own issues better see a shrink about the intimacy with woman thing. Then let him date a few women, who knows maybe he has been bi -sexual the whole time and just didn't realize it. Or maybe he is gay and just hasn't dealt with issues he has had with women and now suddenly feels the need to. best of luck
2006-10-18 06:00:14 · answer #5 · answered by TR 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm gay and altho i have always been in relationships with other girls a while back I met a guy I oculdnt stop thinking about ...It drove me bonkers!! he was so much like me and everything I could ever want but deep down if it came to the rude bits I wasn't so keen and my attraction faded a lil!! We're best friends now tho but if your mate likes this girl that much and the thought of having sex doesnt make him have second thoughts he was never totally gay he was just more inclined to be with men and fussier when it came to girls!!
2006-10-18 08:03:15 · answer #6 · answered by sambo_chiv 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some of you lot are so deluded...
If you are gay, then you are gay...you DO NOT suddenly decide to be gay - you either are or are not.
What you might be talking about is bisexuality, some people maintain they are quite happy having sex with either gender.
Once more for the hard of thinking GAY IS NOT A CHOICE
2006-10-18 06:06:11 · answer #7 · answered by Mr Glenn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's just bisexual, who previously leaned to the man side of the equation and now that he's single, he's just developing his attractions to the other side of the fence. What might seem like a sudden change to you might be something he's been thinking about for years, but never mentioned because his relationship with a man made his physical attraction to women immaterial.
2006-10-18 06:00:24 · answer #8 · answered by Muffie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When making a change in one's lifestyle, I feel that anything is possible. Meaning, whereas the individual may (or may not) always possess a deep or even slight sexual attraction to the same sex, it is possible for him/her to make a drastic lifestyle change--in this case, going from a homosexual lifestyle to a heterosexual ("straight") one. Now I must admit, out of sheer confusion (concerning their sexuality, that is) some individuals fool themselves into thinking that they can make the change. In other instances, however, I think that most individuals know what they want and are willing to make a change in their lifestyle in order to achieve their goals (i.e. maintaining a stable hetero. relationship, procreation...).
2006-10-18 06:25:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be deluding himself, or maybe he just likes women too. As far as sexual orientation, I identify myself as a bisexual women, though I didn't start being really attracted to other women sexually until later in adolescence. It happens, and it really doesn't matter. Between consenting adults, people should do what pleases them. Humans are far too wrapped up in sexual orientation and the idea that it defines them. It's stupid.
2006-10-18 05:58:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋