what do you think about my lyrics?

Question

Could be. (title)


You see me with your eyes closed
Watch me come undone, and you’re so close
Fingers follow, trace my lines
We’re alone, and you won’t let me hide
But I don’t want to.

(hook)The time is now
So hold on baby, hold on

(chorus)With eyes wide shut, we’ll share our souls
Lost in moments
And I’ve had worse, but never better
Baby someday
Yes Someday this could be forever

We find ourselves trapped in blankets
And you’re just so oblivious
To the way you move me, your touch it kills me
And I find you search me , with eyes wide shut

Oh the time is now
So hold on baby, hold on(x2)

With eyes wide shut, we’ll share our souls
Lost in moments
And I’ve had worse, but never better
Baby someday
Yes Someday this could be forever

Oh this could be forever..
Yeah forever.

Answer 1

wow..omg words cannot express! these words r so powerful and beautiful and wonderful! i love them ...u have a special talent and i wish u the best of luck if u plan on getting a record deal and singing this song..=)

Answer 2

I like the line, 'someday this could be forever'. It's pretty good overall, but seems to lack something. It needs more content. Can't tell what your point is, not completely. Is it a message to one's lover? or someone that they wished was their lover? or is it a memory of a lost love? Perhaps the mystery is what you were going for. Good work, stay with it, you're onto something!!!

Answer 3

I like it. The only thing I think you should change is "eyes wide shut" because it doesn't make sense in one way. If you can find another way to say what you mean by that, like "light from the heart", or something, I think it would be better.

Answer 4

awesome. Good Luck and I'll watch for your first cd.

Answer 5

Hey, this is pretty good. Keep up the good work.