Me and the Wife are seperated. She had an affair and is now pregnant and there is a strong possiblilty it is not mine. So there is all the ugly stuff. We have a 7 year old daughter together also. My family seems to have put thereselves right in the middle of this. I know this is a messed up situation, but I would not feel right if I did not atleast give my marrage a chance to be reconciled. I do have alot of anget towards my wife, but we still have a connection and we have had many long open discussions with each other and we are willing to work on things. I am not saying I am taking her back I am saying I am willing to go to counselling try to sort things out and take it from there. We know that this is a difficult situation and my wife knows she created an awful mess, but that has already been done and can not be taken back. The baby will be born in January so there is no abortion or adoption going to happen. Has anyone ever tried to save a marrage in similar situations.
2006-10-18 05:24:09 · 6 answers · asked by cheeks230 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My family actually argues with me when I say I want to work on this marraige and that there still remains a possibility for it to be saved. I am so distressed right now and I just want to be able to analyze the situation and figure out what I want to do without being judged and I want to do what is going to make me happy, not what everyone else thinks is going to make me happy. My wife is saying all the right things now, but I also realize I will not be able to come back and commit to work on this marraige until I see a change in her to the point were I feel comfortable that she will work on this marraige as hard as I will. I need advice at this point I just want to be able to be left alone, stop being pressured, and I wish my family would allow me to come to a decision on my own and support me when I make that decision.
2006-10-18 05:28:36 · update #1
Your a good man.... Tell the family to back off... Your an adult, and it is time for the space your family needs... No matter the outcome they need to stay out, listen when you need and do it lovingly, without being judgmental to you or your wife... The sooner they see this and know you are firm on this the easier it will be...
I have never been in your shoes and I think you have shown greatness in your ability to love and strive for what is best.... Be true to yourself and trust in your decisions....
Best wishes to all of you... ♥
2006-10-18 05:30:23 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Always 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've never been in this situation before but I can tell you that I do know that FAMILY can butt their noses in where they have no business doing so. You will have to be firm with your family and just tell them to please leave all this up to you. That you are an adult and you know what you want and they will have to trust you. You may end up loosing some of your family members in the end if you go back with your wife in the future. Because I'm sure they don't agree with what she has done. Family tends to judge on what they know, but don't listen to what you want them to hear. Yes, you have a lot on your plate right now. I admire you for wanting to try to save the marriage. Not too many spouces would do this. Especially since she "may" be carrying another mans child. You have a good heart and your family should be proud of you, not causing you to question yourself. Be firm with them. Tell them this is your life and you have to do what YOU feel is right for you. I wish you the best, you deserve it. Bless you...
2006-10-18 06:59:33 · answer #2 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instantly out of anger and frustration your family is going to say leave, but if you know you want to make it work so be it. You have to tell them that you appreciate their concern but they have to respect your wishes. Don't tell them everything that is going on. You and your wife have to keep things between the two of you. If you decide to stay you're the one who has to live in that situation and be happy with it. Not them.
2006-10-18 05:30:20 · answer #3 · answered by pooh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your marriage can be saved if you both want it to be saved. it will take hard work. Seek counseling. Your marriage could be made stronger because of this. Good luck.
2006-10-18 05:27:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your family to bog off its not their live and you need to keep a straight head and not be influenced by them right now.
2006-10-18 05:25:53 · answer #5 · answered by Lynne B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should do what is right in your heart.
Screw what anybody else thinks! They don't have to live with the choice YOU do.
2006-10-18 05:29:22 · answer #6 · answered by Littlebit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋