When insecurities get in the way.....can your man be pushed away?

Question

I know that no one wants to be in a controling relationship, and i dont categorize myself as being controling i just feel like i want to be #1 in his life....i've been in this relationship for 4 years now. I love him to death and i know he feels the same. i never liked his friends,so in the beginning i would make a huge deal of him going out with them, when in reality all they do is play video games and drink beer..ok so i've grown up and let that go. but i have a lot of insecurities with my self,&feel like crap when it comes to him watching porn or going out to a strip club,(which he hasnt yet)..but what bothers me the most is that he cant seem to let ONE female walk by without lookin at them. it bothers me cuz it makes me not feel good enough.like hes still lookin for more..i dont check other guys out.plus you can see a hell of alot more when looking at women then lookin at men now a days,with our dress code! but he does compliment me everyday...y do i feel like this? and am i wrong?

Answer 1

You sound like me and my boyfriend we've been together for 3 yrs. Not all girls but girls like me and you put too much presure on our selfs. When we love someone we want to be it all for them this meaning what turns them on, what makes them happy, excited everything and when something happens that suggest that maybe we aren't all those things we freak out and go into what's wrong with me mode. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be everything for someone you love but what I've learned and this may sound mean and I don't mean it to but trust me I've been through alot and I've learned alot so I'm telling you from experiance that all guy's look yes, some more then others, some more obvious then others but they do look you must know that for everyone out there there's always someone who weather you like it or not will be prettyer or have a bigger butt or bigger chest but what separats us is that we all have different personalities and attitudes. Some of the prettiest girls have the nastiest attitudes and that's why they're alone. It's the whole package not just the outside. Like a christmas presant it can be rapped with the prettiest paper and ribons but you can open it and it's any epty box or a pair of socks if that makes any since to you. In other words looks are not as important as you think besides that look at it this way nomatter what you are who he goes home with not that girl that walked by who he saw for what 5 seconds and will never see again. Another way to explain it si hey everybody thinks Brad Pitt, Ben Afflick and so on are hot nice bodies and all and if they walked by I don't know any one who wouldn't look but that doesn't mean we love are boyfriends any less. Just a suggestion but you might also what to let him know how some of this makes you feel that he does and maybe you can comprimise and meet half way and it may help you understand him a bit more and why he may do those things. The key to all relationships is open comunication. Hope I was able to help out.

Answer 2

The problem here is with you and not with your boyfriend. Men look at other women and that is a fact. Many men also look at porn and go to strip clubs, that doesn't make them cheaters or mean that they want someone else. You need to be secure with who you are in order to let your boyfriend be himself, otherwise, you are going to push him away, just as you fear will happen. If you think counseling might work give it a try. You say you love this man to death so do whatever it takes to show him before its too late.

Answer 3

he's shy because of the fact of his emotions. He needless to say likes you. He needs he could have you ever. in case you % a similar open as much as him and make him experience particular. Thats what you may desire to do. confident he's shy. which ability he perspectives you as important whilst in comparison with different ladies. If he did no longer he could manage you like he often does. however the seen having you as his makes him experience insecure. you're extra effective than he's whilst it includes that he can in any different case basically forget approximately it because of the fact it is an extra ordinary subject to do. So confident he's shy approximately what he needs.

Answer 4

Insecurities are a big thing in realtionships. I do no think you are wrong for feeling like this. It happens to alot of girls. I think you need to sit down and tell him that you don't like the way he looks at other females or any of the other things that he does and makes you feel this way. If he truly loves you.......no other female would catch his attention. You don't have to be controlling.....but you have to put your foot down when it comes to men, sometimes they don't understand certain things...good luck.

Answer 5

You are insecure in yourself. There is absolutely nothing wrong with him looking at other women as long as he isn't touching. Men are very visual and they just look by nature. You are the one he wants, you shouldn't feel threatened by women he is just looking at. If you don't find some security in yourself, you could end up losing him.

Answer 6

insecurities are hard to fix...you have to start with yourself cause you are the only one responsible for you. Be happy with who you are and respect yourself..Guys r Guys and they always look-my boyfriend of 3 years looks..but if there is no phone calls or emails or secrets between you, him or anyother person he interacts with then, focus on you and trust him.