He says he knows exactly what and when and how to do what feels best. I've even told him it would be okay with me for him to guide me either by telling me or showing me what feels good to him. He thinks that makes things too awkward. I'm left feeling very sad and inadequate., with a huge hit to my ego. Any suggestions. Only serious replies please.
2006-10-18 05:02:25 · 9 answers · asked by rebeccalynnrocks 3 in Health ➔ Men's Health
I failed to say that he absolutely does pleasure me prior to this happening. He makes sure that I'm totally satisfied! However, what he doesn't understand is that part of my pleasure is pleasing him.
2006-10-18 05:16:39 · update #1
You should convince him that "it takes two to tango", meaning
to say in sexual intercourse, both partners need to reach
orgasm together and not him alone which is seen as a selfish
act.
Also, tell him that it's not right and proper for him to masturbate
himself when both of you are involved in sex.
You should take the lead to show him the way of reaching for
orgasm together.
I hope he'll understand.
2006-10-18 05:14:07 · answer #1 · answered by steplow33 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This can happen... and at least you are open for suggestions! I know it is really hard to handle when you are told you're not doing something quite right, but then again I'm sure your husband has been in that position too at some point in his life. What you could do is to let him do the actual manual job, but you can also still do stuff. I mean, you have both hands and your mouth free so you can pleasure him on every other area of his body. It's also a great turn on for him as he can also touch you and kiss you back. It makes you a part of it anyway. I hope this helps!
2006-10-18 12:06:12 · answer #2 · answered by Bex 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is so right that HE and ONLY he can know what feels best & what works. Same goes for women , too. You should just give him good sex with the vagina, when he wants it. but when he craves jerkoff, then LEAVE HIM ALONE!!! You can't do it nowhere as good as he can. Give him good oral, too, and let him have his own space, sexually. There's fun in together intercourse, & fun in private sessions. but he SHOULD NOT masturbate with you present. that's not right. this is like he's putting on a show for you. both of you should masturbate PRIVATELY, alone., not together. Get together only for the real deal.
And don't be so shocked that he comes easier alone than with you. Millions of women say the same, that they can come alone through masturbation much quicker than with a man inside them. so it's a common thing. there will always be certain activities one can do best ALONE, and that's that. my only concern is: WHY is the vaginal sex & the oral not exciting him enough??? Talk to him about THAT, not about j/o. And this a very, very serious reply.
2006-10-18 12:42:17 · answer #3 · answered by blackbird 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be feeling too insecure about himself to tell you what he wants. This is a fairly common problem for both men and women (more so women). Start trying different things.... and encourage him to speak up. If you continue on this path, your sex life will eventually suffer because no one wants to be left feeling inadequate.
2006-10-18 12:06:20 · answer #4 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has a problem with intimacy. He is more comfortable with himself than with a real woman. This happens to guys who spend too much time masturbating to porn. They are unable to achieve the same excitement in real life as they can by fantasizing. This is not good at all, as he will not come out of it on his own. I suggest you try and get him to go see a sex therapist together.
2006-10-18 12:58:53 · answer #5 · answered by john c 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't take it personally. It sounds like he is a little insecure and perhaps can't fully express himself with you. It's good that you are talking about it with him. Maybe he just lacks self-confidence. It's got nothing to do with you or "technique".
2006-10-18 12:12:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Massarge is the answer just tease him a few times, then move in for he kill works a treat
2006-10-18 12:34:35 · answer #7 · answered by Ian Mac 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that means he's pleasured himself to much his organ has became unsynthesized by being handled to much and probabley to hard. he needs to lay off the ole organ awhile so you can do it for him.
2006-10-18 23:20:34 · answer #8 · answered by coolray44 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe its just him. i would feel hurt too. every1 that ive been with has let me pleasure him
2006-10-18 12:46:29 · answer #9 · answered by Sm@rtAs$ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋