im so confused about what my hubby wants.One minute he wants me to get my tubes tied and when i FINALLY made the appointment to have it done he says hes not sure if thats the right thing to do.He told me i should just take birth control for a few months and play the "we will see" if having another child is right for us.Problem? Well im sick of "waiting" he nagged me and nagged me to get them tied and now HES changing his mind?WHY?Hes the one that should be getting fixed, right?i mean it WAS all his idea?Im not sure how to take all of this.Im not really for birth control anyways, too many side effects,too much weight gain,ive been on them and i do not like them.They arent healthy and i hate birth control.Id rather use a condom then be on them.So why should i compromise my feelings.I dont want to and i shouldnt have to.I want him to say either get your tubes tied and be done with it, or we will have another one.in all reality those are the only options.either you have another or not.
2006-10-18 04:58:08 · 18 answers · asked by jess_n_flip 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Of course i want one more child, but im sick of trying to "convince" him that we can have one more. He never wanted anymore so he pressured me to get my tubes tied. So one say i gave in, made the appointment, and now hes telling ME hes unsure!!! HOW FRUSTRATING!!!
2006-10-18 05:02:53 · update #1
Sweetie Please do not tie your tubes! I made that terrible mistake and I am regretting every day!!! I moved on from the relationship of eleven yrs, the father of my girls was a total jerk and so I tied them because I was very fertile, when I was with him, I also thought I was going to be with him forever! YEA RIGHT! I had a tubaligation done 13 yrs ago and 5 years ago I fell in love with my best friend I've known since I was 9! This man is awesome we have been together for the last five yrs and absolutey adores my girls ages 17, 15, and 13. they are all teenagers! But he has never been married and has no kids! I would want nothing more than to be able to make him a daddy and he always talks about having a son, he knows I can't unless he decides to pay for it, INVETRO or something! He has money but we haven't really talked about it! He's upset that I burned them, but what can I do? So please even if you plan to stay with your hubby, don't tie them! Unless you are absolutely positively sure! I would give anything to be able to have a baby for my hunny and I can't! :( By the way I'm soon to be 36 this December... Contact me if u'd like... Good Luck!
2006-10-18 05:09:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly I think that a relationship is a two-way street, so if he wants you to sacrifice something to please him, you should find out if he is willing to do the same thing for you. It is your body, and it is you who will be bearing the pain so the decision should be completely up to you. If you are afraid that the birth control pills will increase your weight, there are new pills that do not increase your weight but in fact they help you to maintain or loose it and they keep you healthy. So I really think that you should ask your doctor about those. I totally agree with you that he should be the one getting the operation, because if he is so persistent about getting your tubes tied and then changing his mind, tell him to go ahead and have the operation because his can be easily reversed. From my point of view, he is not thinking about your feelings, he's just thinking about himself and what he wants. If he really loves you, he would not put you through this, no matter what the consequences would be. As a female I think that you shouldn't do it and in the long run you will regret it because if this relationship was to end and you found someone else who really loves you and wants to have a child with you, you will be at lost. Just use the condoms or go right ahead and get another child but do not get your tubes tied. If he cannot make a decision that is going to make the both of you happy, I suggest that you leave him and find someone better. It may seem hard at first to leave him, but every woman has an inner strength and you can do it.
2006-10-18 05:33:49 · answer #2 · answered by LaCutie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would sit down and have a heart-to-heart with your husband. Both of you need to come to a decision about whether or not you are having more children. There are other options for birth control beside a condom or the pill. An IUD, the Depo Provera shot, and many others are available if you talk with your OB/GYN, and they are a lot more reliable than a condom. Getting your tubes tied, or him having a vasectomy, is permanent birth control. The cost involved with reversing either procedure is tremendous, and the results are not guarateed. Before you make a decision that you end up regretting, talk and decide together. And keep in mind, that adoption is always an option if you do elect to use a permanent form of birth control and then change your mind about having another child.
2006-10-18 05:05:14 · answer #3 · answered by kc_warpaint 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your body so in the end it's your decision what to do. However, that is your husband and you should respect him but you have to do whats best for you. If you do not like birth control, don't take it, there are other options. How many kids do you have already? if you are absolutely sure you don't want anymore than maybe you should get the operation or consider him having a vasectomy. just don't do anything you are not comfortable with. Good Luck.
2006-10-18 05:03:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well sweetie there is one thing to do. sit down, talk to him and tell him that you've decided that you do not want to get your tubes tied because after that you will not ever be able to have children, there are too many side effects to birth control and after putting much thought into it you've decided that since his so sure that he doesn't want kids you've scheduled him a doctors appointment for him to have a vasectomy. And of course before talking to him -call a doc and schedule an appointment for him.
2006-10-18 05:08:12 · answer #5 · answered by A Lady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you so concerned about what he wants. Do YOU want more kids? Are you absolutely sure!?!? If you know you NEVER want to be pregnant again (I was so sure after my last one) then go do it!
BUT, if you think you might, maybe, one day, possible want another baby. Don't do it. There are other options.
If he is so adamant about the whole tube-tie-ing situation, tell him to go get it done. It's less invasive for him, has a quicker recovery time, and is reversible.
2006-10-18 05:04:05 · answer #6 · answered by baby_girl_8881 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to get fixed, or hold that pill between your knees until he does. It won't take long. If you two have discussed it and don't want another child, who cares who gets neutered or spayed? If either of you are thinking of the future without your mate, you have more serious issues than just this one. Talk it over between yourselves, make a decision you can both live with and stick to it. Good luck, honey.
2006-10-18 05:01:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know, I'd have to talk with hubby. Have him contact me and I will advise him on how to win you over. Or I'll explain to him that one must be decisive and not wishy-washy when considering such important matters. Perhaps he only lives in the moment and making a long range decision is foreign to him. If that is the case, you knew it when you got with him and it ain't going to change without training in how to make decisions and stick by them. It is a matter of emotional maturity. Good luck.
2006-10-18 05:02:31 · answer #8 · answered by ALWAYS GOTTA KNOW 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you'll get your tubes tied if he gets a vasectomy. It's a lovely compromise.
2006-10-18 05:03:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the question is do you want another child ??? if not then get your tubes tied. If so then don't.
2006-10-18 05:01:23 · answer #10 · answered by Rainy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋