Wife afraid of intimacy Why??

Question

I have been married 6 yrs and she doesn't want to have any kind of intamacy except for you know what.I am at my witts end and need help

Answer 1

I am currantly asking a similar question...why don't women have sex with their husbands?

Being a woman, I can tell you that at times I feel a little taken advantage of. I do the laundry, the dishes, clean, shop for groceries...etc & I work a full time job. I hate asking my husband to do thinks like take out the trash (which is the one thing that I refuse to do...and it getting really bad) I feel that we are both in this marriage together and by him not helping me, it shows that he obviously doesn't care....
I think that women are more detail driven then men, so they can't just let the house fall apart, where most men don't even notice the huge pile of dishes in the sink. Even though women shouldn't do this, I think a lot of times they lump you helping her (with the house work or what ever) to Her helping you (with sex).

Intamacy could be a large number of things. If you want your wife to open up to you more in that way, help her around the house, suprise her with flowers, leave her a note on the mirror. help her to feel how much you love her and want to be with her and eventually she will open up. If not, maybe you should seek counseling.

Answer 2

Six years, huh? I don't understand this from my perspective, but obviously, she's got some major hangups. Now I'm going to ask you a few personal questions. Do you get ready for her (I'm not saying you can't be spontaneous) before you go to bed. Do you shower, shave, brush and floss teeth, use deodorant, a little mild cologne. Do you change your clothes every day and keep them laundered. Do you help her around the house--clean up after dinner, or cook and clean up after dinner. Write her a little note about some of the other things that you would like to do in intimacy other than "you know what" and ask her to talk with you about how you can achieve them. Buy a vibrator. There are very few women who can have an orgasm only by regular intercourse. That might be why you are limited in your intimacy. You need to talk about it, and if she can't make an adjustment after you express your wishes, then only you can decide if the rest of the marriage makes it good enough to hang in there. Good luck. Some people are just selfish and self-centered. I hope this is not the case with your wife.

Answer 3

This is nothing more than a symptom of something else. Your wife doesn't want to be intimate with you probably because you have fuched up somewhere down the line. Now you can bury your head in the sand and do the you know what until she gets tired of your arsh and divorces you or you can seek professional counseling and try to move back into her life. She fuches you as a duty or because she wants sex...Intimacy is her giving of herself...and she doesn't want to give herself to you for some reason. You'd better find out before its too late.

Get counseling.

Check out the following website. It can answer your questions better than I can.

http://www.condomsbrasandstraightjackets.com/

Good luck

Answer 4

Is there a chance that maybe she's just afraid of trying new things or maybe she feels that things between you are fine and thats all that is needed to keep it going. Maybe you should sit down with her and talk to her about your feelings. You've been married awhile so maybe confessing some of these feelings might allow her to tell you whats really going on and why she doesnt want to do that.

Answer 5

Are you saying she only wants to have sex? Does that mean she doesn't want to hold hands, kiss, get/give a massage, talk, play footsies, dry hump, have phone sex, or anything else that could be considered intimate? Ask her what's up? She needs professional help. There is something making her resist other forms of intimacy with you. Don't give up on her. Be patient.

Answer 6

Are you talking about physical intimacy? Or emotional intimacy?

Most women can only feel physically intimate, if they first feel emotionally intimate.

Little things throughout the day that make her feel cherished and adored and desirable will go a LONG way to enhance BOTH kinds of intimacy.

Answer 7

I can't answer your question on why because I don't know your wife nor what she goes through. Maybe u should sit down and talk with her. Maybe she's had problems in the past. I know you are her husband but she can't possibly be telling you every single thing she's done or has had done to her in the past. Hopefully things will work out! good luck!

Answer 8

Basically, she enjoys the sexual aspect of your relationship. Have you tried talking to her about the issue? Have you tried telling you that you really enjoy that part of your relationship, but you as well, have needs and wants. Tell her what you enjoy. Tell her, that you want more of those things; just like she has wants and needs...you obviously fullfill them. Air them out. Try and work these things through. There is more to a relationship than meets the eye.

Answer 9

Before you met, did your wife have a lot of guy-friends (was she just one of the guys?) If so, she could be like me. I had to start seeing a Crazy-Doc because of my intimacy issues. I could bring myself to trust my husband enough (which he didn't deserve because he is wonderful) As much as I wanted to trust him, I would remember all the crap my buddies used to do behind their wives' backs (even the guys I thought would NEVER do things like that) Even thought you would never do anything to hurt her, she might be worried (like I was) that she is just misjudging. Try to get her to talk to someone about it, or suggest couples counseling (even if you have to bribe her with jewelry)

Answer 10

sit down adn talk to her!!! There may be something else going on that she needs to talk about but is afraid to do so. Maybe something happened to her that makes her shy away from being intimate with you