My beau is gradually becoming more and more control of me. We had a row yesterday when I refused to agree for the bathroom door to be removed. He is now demanding that I wear knee-length skirt or dress 24/7 to hide my legs from public view. I am now wearing tight and stockings 24/7 and a lockable anklet bells when I am in our flat.
I am not sure whether I can comply any further with his demand and control, I feel like breaking down soon, maybe our relationship is not working anymore. When I first met him, he was so nice and sweet, not a control freak as he is now. I still love him but what should I do?:(
2006-10-18 04:40:31 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Wow! That is really over the top. Sometimes you just need to know when to say when. It's true that people are the best versions of themselves when they first begin dating someone, and gradually their personality reveals itself. This is very extreme and I think it's time for you to move on. Just make sure you are safe; people who are that controlling tend to do crazy things to keep the one they're with. At some point you just know it's not going to work and things have to end. I know it's going to be hard, but I think it would be best for you. Imagine having children with this person-controlling people usually turn abusive. Would you like your kids to have to watch you get beaten? Would you like to see him hit them or even just do crazy things to try and control them?
I think of relationships this way: If you had a daughter, are you with the type of man that would be good enough for her? Would you wish the man you're with on your children? Even if you don't plan on having kids, it's a good way to view things. Be careful and make good choices. This is the only life you've got.
2006-10-18 04:56:30 · answer #1 · answered by TermiteChokinOnASplinter 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
For some women this will be a quite suitable arrangement. But the very fact that you are raising this issue in public tells me that this arrangement is not for you.
You need to sit down and talk through all the issues. But, if after that, you retain such different viewpoints, then you need to end the relationship.
Life is too short for avoidable unhappiness
2006-10-19 13:17:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats too much. I think he is very insecure to the extend that will hurt you. Can u talk to him and ask him why is he doing that. Tell him how u feel about him and all these things he is doing to u.
Tell urself how much and how long can u take. Once the line is crossed then you have to leave. I know its hard but pls don't lied to urself... u can't let him do anymore such things. Pick urself up... love shouldn't be this way.
2006-10-18 05:12:19 · answer #3 · answered by Sob Sob 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you told him this is a problem? If you've already tried discussing it, or you instinctively don't feel safe discussing it, then get out. If you haven't told him it's a problem and you are comfortable doing so, try that, and then if it continues to be an issue, leave. Control freakness is not the kind of thing that changes easily, and it is a major warnign sign of abuse. You are smart enough to see it, be smart enough to get out.
2006-10-18 04:45:05 · answer #4 · answered by Beneficentia 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is your beau, your lover, your boyfriend - not your owner or your jailer. You have every right to wear what you want and to take a leak behind closed doors!! He sounds very insecure and borderline dangerous.
Tell him you want a mature, loving, trusting, equal relationship - not to be his possession or slave. If he can't cope with that, pack up and leave immediately. You deserve someone who will treat you like a person, not their property.
2006-10-18 04:48:45 · answer #5 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pack your stuff while he is at work and get out before it gets worse. Guys like him just want more and more control. Has he started to tell you how to feel about things? If not he will. Really get out before he hurts you!!!!!!!!!
2006-10-18 04:43:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like he's very insecure. You should try to talk to him and reasure him. If that doesn't work I think you should leave him, and find someone else who will allow you to be you. Good luck x
2006-10-18 04:44:03 · answer #7 · answered by Poppy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well (i have a friend named beau) you need to talk to him adn ask y he is bn so diffrent from when you first met
2006-10-18 04:44:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
get out while the getting is good
2006-10-18 04:45:28 · answer #9 · answered by dreamy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋