How do i help a girl overcome depression?

Question

1. We are just friends.
2. Her close grandmother is in hospital.
3. She suffered from gastric attack lately
4. She have problem at work and alway late for work.
5. She received a ultimatum if she ever late again she will be fired.
6. She broke off with her bf 3 mth ago.
7. She dont have any plan for the future.
8. She got problem having her meal regularly and she dont know how to cook.

Any suggestions?? Thank You

Thanks guys... To add

I have been giving wake up calls to her daily.
Remind her to take her meal.
Sending messages to console her.
Tell her to visit her grandmother often.
Help her select her diet.

I want to be there for her but she is so vunerable now and as a guy I dont want to get too close. Cause i m afraid she may fall in love with me even though i dont have a gf.

how about that?

Answer 1

There's not much you can do to help her unless she is ready to make a change herself. There are some similarities in the behaviours between an addict & a depressed person.
I am suffering from depression, & have lived with an alcoholic, so I am giving you this advice from my own experiences & perspective.
For her to get help for her depression, she needs to be aware that she actually has a problem. She may be aware but won't seek help for her depression until she reaches a "bottom" in the same way an alcoholic needs to reach his/her "bottom" before accepting help or treatment.

When we try to "Help" we sometimes interfere with the person reaching their personal "bottom" & unintentionaly prolong their suffering by cushioning the fall. For an alcoholic, we may bail them out of jail, while waking up sober in a jail cell might have been what they needed. Or in the case of your friend, you might be tempted to go over to her house & chase her out of bed to prevent her from losing her job, when she may need to actually be fired to realize that she needs help. (Don't know for sure, just an example).

The best thing you can do for your friend right now is to try to help her be aware of her condition, & see if she takes the necessary action to get help on her own. If she remains in denial, then all you can do is accept that, & decide what you want to do for your own personal good. If you can't stand by & watch her suffer, & she persits in not getting any help then you will have to withdraw yourself, or completely detach until she either see's the light or dies.

As a depressed person I recognise that she may be willing to accept help, but could be too depressed to actually take action on her own. If you recognise that she is in that place, then by all means offer to help her get to the help she needs just to get her started. But for the most part she will need to decide to do this on her own to be able to make a permamnent change in her life.
I wish her & you well.

Answer 2

I have a bf who is painfully shy and it's a great match because I absolutely ADORE quiet men. Loud men don't appeal to me and never have. My bf is a writer/journalist/reporter/press correspondent and, because my interests are aligned with his, we have much to talk about! Citing your pain/feelings/frustrations, I can honestly place myself in your shoes, but don't lose heart. You're 19. Seems like an eternity to wait around for the right one, eh? Don't lose heart. Get involved in some organizations and, without losing your identity/quiet personality, attempt to take the initiative to approach some women in, say, a computer lab group (if there is such a thing). Join organizations that interest you and see if any women are members. There must be something other than computers that you like. Maybe chess? Backgammon? Lacrosse? Join groups such as those, or the like. Give yourself some time to meet people. When you do meet someone, don't jump. Take it slowly. Friends first is always the best way. Don't listen/pay attention to those who insist you to be gay. They're opportunist and will jump at the chance to try to bring others down only to make themselves feel better. I hope that some of this helps. Good luck.

Answer 3

The first step toward defeating depression is to define it. But people who are depressed often have a hard time thinking clearly or recognizing their own symptoms. She may need your help. Check the following to see if a she may have had any of these symptoms persisting longer than two weeks.
Does she express feelings of:
Sadness or emptiness?
Hopelessness, pessimism, or guilt?
Helplessness or worthlessness?
Does she seem:
Unable to make decisions?
Unable to concentrate and remember?
To have lost interest or pleasure in ordinary activities -- like sports or band or talking on the phone?
To have more problems with school and family?
Does she complain of:
Loss of energy and drive -- so they seem slowed down?
Trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, or getting up?
Appetite problems; is she losing or gaining weight?
Headaches, stomach aches, or backaches?
Chronic aches and pains in joints and muscles?
Has her behavior changed suddenly so that:
She's restless or more irritable?
She wants to be alone most of the time?
She's started cutting classes or dropped hobbies and activities?
You think she may be drinking heavily or taking drugs?
Has she talked about:
Death?
Suicide
...Find Someone Who Can Help!!!
By showing friendship and concern and giving uncritical support, you can encourage your friend to talk to his or her parents or another trusted adult, like a teacher or coach, about getting treatment. If your friend is reluctant to ask for help, you can talk to an adult -- that's what a real friend will do.

Answer 4

Listen you have listed eight things here, and I'm not insensitive, but many of us has gone through many of these types of situations, but the important thing is the way in which you deal with these things...it's called life, but if it's not working for you, you try and fix it.....you cannot fix her, but you can support her, and encourage her that she cant continue like this well she needs to look at the problems that need addressing like always being late for work...how old is she?....she will have an even bigger problem if she looses her job, sounds to me she desperately needs to develop a backbone, and get motivated, a good place to start is to get her outside to jogg, you can jogg with her, the exercise will release the happy endorphins in her brain, that is a starting point for her, and all you can do is support her. Good Luck.

Answer 5

You are going to have to spend some time with her. She needs physical activity. Get her out the house. Take her to a cooking class. She needs to care about something. Perhaps a pet? The gastric attack is probably stress related. I suggest walks, kick ball, swimming, bicycling, kiting. Break up the routine.Pick up Granny's friends and bring them to visit. Spend some time in the kitchen. Show her how to shop for her food. Activity is the best.

Answer 6

If she is seriously depressed then she may need to see a doctor. If she is just going through some rough patches and temporarily depressed, all you can do is to be their for her. You can encourage her to make a plan, follow her dream, or take some cooking classes. Just being her friend is really about all you can do.

Answer 7

I think that you should be there for her as a friend and listen to her when she has a problem - cause i know that listening helps. But i also believe that people have to learn to stand on their own two feet bacause the world can be a cruel place. She needs to learn to look after herself.

Answer 8

Well if you are a very good friend and let het know that you will be there for her,,, and remember that no problems last forever they will go but friendship will last....I have had mamny people that I have talk to over the years but avery few realy friends,,,,

Answer 9

wow you are a good friend.
hmm the way you can stay platonic friends, if indeed, will be to always show and see the bad points in each other and magnify it so much so that it displeases you. that way she wont fall for you that easily.

Answer 10

I suggest you don't try to fix her. Unless you like a lot of drama in your life.