anyone got any idea how i preform i tripple heart by pass at home, my dads wants the surgery but we cant afford it so thought i'd give it a try myself, cant be to hard. i got a few straws for the bypass and been watchin ER all week, just need a bit of help on how to get started, should be alright from there in.
Also is selotape ok to hold the wound together, reckon if i use loads it sould be ok.
The doctor told him he was stirile a few years back, so i should need to sterilise the knife, right?
2006-10-18 04:19:46 · 14 answers · asked by mboylan86 1 in Health ➔ Alternative Medicine
Yep, you can do the cutty thing all by yourself. All you need is the sharp edge of the lid from a can. A few nails to hold the skin back while you work, a hacksaw to cut through the ribs, some piano wire to put the ribs back together, a few pipe cleaners to clean the plaque from his arteries, a drill to help the pipe cleaners spin (I recommend a Dewalt cordless), and a tarp (in case things go a little wrong). Be sure to keep a shovel handy. A couple of quick blows to the head will make a good pain killer, or it might come in handy with the tarp (you know... if things go a little wrong).
2006-10-18 04:29:06 · answer #1 · answered by IAINTELLEN 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha Ha Ha....funny.
Murder Charges might be in store.
Actually a by pass in the heart, they don't replace the bad area of the vessels, they just make a little by pass around the bad area. The bad area can still have blood flow through it but its substancially less, as blood goes the path of least resistance.
Also the blood is routed through a machine that keeps the blood in circulation, and from clotting.
I am however assuming you're posting this out of humor.
2006-10-18 11:25:43 · answer #2 · answered by washington_maverick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't be serious???!!! Surgery is extremely complicated and done in hospitals for a reason. Do you have an anesthesiologist to put your father to sleep during the operation you want to perform? Do you have extensive knowledge about the veins, arteries and functions of the heart? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU"RE SAYING?? You're much better off letting him die of a heart attack than trying to slice him open and play doctor yourself.
2006-10-18 11:24:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have lots of really sharp knives and I am a Doctor. Don't worry about the kill joys here who tell you not to attempt this at home. I have done dozens of cases of open-heart, not to mention open-liver, open-spleen, etc operations at home. Just give me a shout and I'll bring my knives.
Mwhahahahahaaaaaa!
Mwhahahahahaaaaaa!
Mwhahahahahaaaaaa!
2006-10-18 11:29:05 · answer #4 · answered by dr evil 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seal the incision with Duck Tape (not Duct Tape)... If you're going to operate like a quack, you need the right tools in your toolbox.
2006-10-18 11:23:14 · answer #5 · answered by Mark 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You're joking.
You can't just perform a by pass with no previous experience.
It'll be like torturing him to death.
2006-10-18 11:24:00 · answer #6 · answered by chaos200622 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Okay, don't do a heart by pass surgery on your dad unless you want to kill him and get arrested for murder! You must be stupid to think you can do that! don't do that! you can't!!! you'll kill him! Now don't be stupid! AHHHHHH!!! find a way to get some money instead! itll help!
2006-10-18 11:23:22 · answer #7 · answered by Juice 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Silly kids... I hope you're having fun!
2006-10-18 11:28:42 · answer #8 · answered by HoTbOd sWiMmeR 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
please try this all selotape and other on your own arm or feet
and if you think it is good then try with fathers by pass
2006-10-18 11:24:17 · answer #9 · answered by pankaj ji 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
please dont do this
you dont want to be the one to kill your father
medicare should cover some cost of the surgery and you can fundraise too!!
2006-10-18 12:58:39 · answer #10 · answered by ChicaInquisitiva 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋