What do I do???

Question

I need help please. I recently split with my girlfriend 4 days ago after an up and down relationship. We have split up 4 times in 5 months so something tells me we won't work out. My ex-girlfriend is very emotional right now and I'm worried for her. She has 2 kids. She keeps saying stuff like "i cant do this without u" "im gone" and I can't help but worry that she'll do something stupid if you know what I mean.

She has asked us to try again loads of times but I can't do it no more so I'm being honest with her and saying it won't work but in time I'm willing to be friends if it's not too much to handle. We were friends before.

I have text certain members of her family who see her fairly often but I am so worried sick that she'll do something stupid.

Any advise please.

PS the kids aren't mine. Last thing she said to me was enjoy my life and that she's "gone".

Answer 1

she needs to get over this, so you are right not to go back there in the hope she will be happy. if it is not going to work then it will only make her feel worse. if she has family and friends around her they will help her and you have told others to look after her so she is definitely not alone. unfortunately there is not a lot you can do to stop her doing any if she is serious because you cant force her to go to get help, however if you have concerns for her safety you can call the police and get them to check her. if they have concerns that she will do something they can get her to a hospital for assesments, it seems harsh but if she really wants to hurt herself then its one of the only ways to go about it. i really hope things are ok and she is able to move on and see that just because things have ended with you she still has a life , especially for the sake of her children. also continue to be strong and dont blame yourself, if the relationship had to end then it obviously was not meant to be and it is good that you were strong enough to see this and eventually she will have the strength to accept it.

Answer 2

Emotional blackmail is a depressive's biggest weapon. You need to try and back away or she will constantly hold you under a cloud of threats and mystical comments. I know how hard that will be for you but if you can let her family know exactly what you are doing and severe all contact with her she will have no choice but to face it on her own. It will be the best thing you have ever done for her. Or, she needs to realise that you have a life you want to get on with and she could have been part of it, but if friendship is all you can offer then she should be grateful she is getting that. I know I sound like a harsh woman but it angers me when people do this to others. You have two options honey, walk away or try and be a good friend to her.

Answer 3

well, don't leave her behind in the dust just bcuz it wasn't really work in' out 4 ya. yes, i think u guys should still b friends, and if eventually if u feel like u can handle the roller-coaster again go 4 it! but if she starts talking about suicide, thats something serious and should b confronted right away. if she says it's bcuz u won't come back 2 her, u should definitely have a serious conversation with her. explain ur feelings about the situation and also let her vent her problems to u. but don't fell like ur bing pushed 2 make a decision in this. take ur time and think about it, don't rush! if none of that works out and she still feels like doing the "dumb thing" don't get mad at her. sit down and remind her she has 2, small, beautiful children that need her to stick around for them. hope this helps. ~annalise

Answer 4

It's not easy. But it's in her best intrest if you just leave her be for a little while if you really don't want it to work out. Are the kids yours? Tell anyone in her family that you think she may try something stupid. Someone that she trusts and she feels comfortable with talking about what has happened with the two of you.

Answer 5

keeping in touch is the worst thing you can do as she will cling on to the hope that you will come back. If she has family around her she will come through the other side eventually. She is basically trying emotional blackmail as you are her safe zone. She will get through it and it is heart warming to find someone who does care about her well being after a break up. Good luck

Answer 6

Your ex-girlfriend should be old enough to get over a relationship as she got over her other relationships. You are worried for her coz you still care about her. Maybe you should ask one of her friends to keep an eye on her but for you, I think it is time to leave the past behind and start a new life. If you were spliting up every month, I honestly don't think it was love but dependence.

Answer 7

Something is telling you it won't work out for a reason. Its good that you are trying to help her through her emotions right now...but, what about yours? How are the kids involved? Are they attached to you as well? It's not always so easy, when children are involved. If they are not your children...you may be wanting that...and a life of your own with someone else, someone special. If they are your children...you will always be in contact with her...and she may need some help dealing with this. It was good to be honest, with yourself and her.

Answer 8

This is a tricky one. I have a cousin who committed suicide just two months ago. He kept telling his girlfriend for an entire week that he'd do it (they were in a big fight) and she never told anyone. And he did it. So yeah I strongly advise you to contact her family/friends. The thing is you shouldn't have to stay with her out of pity at all. But please make aware her family members of what is going on.

Answer 9

Talk to the members of her family and let them deal with her you need to be out of the picture in order for her to get her act together.

Answer 10

She is using you. She is an adult with 2 kids and responsible enough to take care of herself. You tell her curtly and move on. Do not worry about trifles. You will have many more major things to worry about in time to come.