live-in boyfriend/girlfriend?

Question

for those of you who answered my previous question, my boyfriend and I have decided that in 8 months, when our leases expire, we will move in together. I have lived with a bf before and it didnt work out too well. I was wondering, for all of you who have lived with a bf,gf, what are some ground rules that you would set to help from getting into any stupid arguments. You know, like "if you're going to be out longer than I thought, give me a call, so I dont worry." or "clean up the water on the floor after you take a shower so I dont slip and fall and crack my head open on the toilet" or "I wont yell at you for drinking out of the milk jug if you dont yell at me for my clothes all over the bathroom floor." You know, that kind of thing...any advice from your experience?

Answer 1

I have lived with three men in my life; the first for five years, the second I married after 14 months and the third I am currently living with now and will marry next year after a year.

I believe this - I forgive the mess issues very easily. The reason for this is because I am not perfect either and there are so many ways in which he is perfect to me that to dwell on little things is plain stupid. The only real ground rule that you need is CONSIDERATION. I would do anything at all to make him happy and he would do anything to make my life wonderful. Therefore, I pick up after him gladly, clean the bathrooms, make meals, bring him treats when I think he might be hungry or thirsty, bring him flowers on my way home from work, leave him candy bars on the nightstand, whatever. He is so good to me in so many ways, running my bath, tucking me in, loving me all the time, listening to me, doing whatever I want, ironing my clothes, picking up after ME, making me chicken soup when I don't feel good, etc.. We never have had even a disagreement because we each put the other first. He is mature and competent and we are so grateful for what we have that neither of us wants to cause the other even the slightest amount of unhappiness. The advice I would give is put each other first - you will always come out ahead. Never snipe over the little things - they just don't matter - they don't!

Answer 2

Well, I have lived with my bf for almost 3 yrs already (Nov will be 3 yrs) & I'll tell you one thing, there are somethings you can't change. I love him with all my heart & am very happy with him but I realized that there's no way I will ever make him change his "habits". Both you & him will discover "bad" or "annoying" habits from each other & the only thing you can do is get used to it. You can sit there & ask him to do everything your way but trust me, it's not going to happen. I mean, he might pick up after himself every now & then as will you (change what he finds annoying) but after awhile you'll both go back to your habits b'cuz that's what both of you are used to. You can't change your man, if you can, congratulations!!! You'll learn something new about him everyday as he will learn something about you too. Regarding arguments, those will always be there, there is no such thing like a perfect relationship without an argument, and you will learn that all you argue about are stupid little things. Moving in with someone could be nerve wrecking, but take it one day at a time, have patience, and you'll see if this is what you both want. Just remember to communicate & tell each other about any "habits" that neither of you can stand. All I can say is Good Luck!!! & if you really love this guy, & he loves you, it will work out, no matter what anyone tells you!

Answer 3

I have been married for almost 19 years (Nov 27th). We did live together for about 5 months but I can honestly say that I learned absolutely nothing during that time that helped us during our marriage. What I do know is trust is a huge factor and unconditional love. Being able to forgive anything is a huge component to a long lasting marriage. You have to forgive. Being right is a sure way to divorce court. We have survived financial, emotional, and health issues through out our marriage. We have each done things that others would have gotten a divorce over. I would recommend an engagement period without living together to figure out if you are ready for marriage. Remember it is hard, very hard to make a marriage work. That is why so many marriages end because people stop working at making them work. Good Luck & God Bless.

Answer 4

I lived with a boy when i was 18. ahhh did not work..
My current bf and I want to move in together but arent' ready yet..
Set the ground rules and if you love eachother you will try and respect that...i would say i love andrew..i'm going to pick my thong up off the floor..or take the garbage out...
sometimes it's not that easy but thats how i get along with my bf

Answer 5

Live with my bf now, is working out great, communication and compromise is the keys to success: when in doubt or angry, sit back and talk about what the problem is. Most of the time the answer is so simple that you were actually overlooking it. If need be make lists & post them for each other, as to what you would each like from the other.

Answer 6

Before you move in both of you should discuss and go over the ground rules. Make note of pet peeves you might have and the other know. Communication is the key if you want to avoid arguments like that.

Answer 7

You should sit down and talk to your boyfriend . Just you know don't demand things from him but just tell him there are things you need to say about you guys living together. You know no one is pefect and every on ehas there arguments sometimes it's avoidable but you should be honest with him and just let him know how you feel.

Answer 8

I think it just boils down to how compatible you are as roomates. You could live with the same sex and have tons of problems so the roomate thing comes down to compatibility and respect. You probably have a good idea now how you'd get along as roomates, follow your instincts.

Answer 9

I would advise against people living together without the benefits or protections of marriage. Not on any moral grounds- but when you live someone you give up so many benefits of being your own person with your own life and schedule and interests and activities- one can even sometimes lose themselves totally...all for someone who can easily just walk out the door....

Answer 10

how about this, neither one of you sweat the small stuff. be considerate to one another. If that doesnt just come natural then you dont need to be living together.