I dated this boy who was my first real love...we dated for a year but spent everyday together. I left all my friends for him. We fought a lot but regardless I loved him more each day. We were craZY IN LOVE. It got to a point where I needed to end it because we were crazy and we decided down the road we would be together agian. I continued to see him while i was seeing a new guy and 3 months after breaking up i started dating my new man because i couldn't stand being single. it has been a year now that i am with my new man, but have never stopped loving my ex, and we both talk about how we still love each other and wanna be together. He just came back from boot camp and will be leaving for the army in 9 days but wants me to be his girl. I don't know if I am wasting my boyfriends time, because I can not imagine being with him forever. Because I know I will never get over my ex. I need advice because I don't wannna hurt anyone...I am always pleasing everyone but my self and I need help!!!
2006-10-18 03:54:52 · 9 answers · asked by lovergirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You have to let your current boy friend know what's going on. He may not want to be wasting his time believing it's going somewhere. Good luck.
2006-10-18 03:59:12 · answer #1 · answered by Joe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't listen 2 people who say it couldn't possibly work, cos anything is possible.
HOWEVER, if I were u, I'd try 2 remember the reason u split in the1st place. 'CRAZY IN LOVE' doesn't sound healthy. Did u ever use the excuse that he only hurt u (emotionally, physically...) cos he loved u so much?
There r loads of issues here:
1.) U need 2 assess y u couldn't b happy as a single girl. Maybe u need 2 have more going on in ur life 2 stop the pattern of dependance on men.
2.)U have 'been' wiv another guy since u & ur ex were 2getha. He's probably been wiv some girls 2. As much as u may say it wouldn't bother u, ur relationship won't b the same as b4, as u'll have both experienced different things. It may bother him 2.
3.) U r thinkin of this in the short term, as he'll b gone in 9 days anyway. The situation as it'll stand in 9 days sounds like when u guys 1st split. U'll b lonely, but pining 4him, & ur present bloke will b around 2 distract u.
All this aside, if u really do love him, he loves u, & u think u can get over any forseeable problems, includin the lonely nights while he's away, then the best advice I could give would b 2split wiv ur current guy (sounds like it's inevitable 1 day anyway) & give it a shot wiv ur ex. But don't 4 1 second believe u'll NEVER get over ur ex. B wiv him cos it's what u want NOW, not cos u never grieved 4 the broken relationship a year ago.
It's better 2 regret the things u did in life: not the things u didn't do.
Good luck, x
2006-10-18 04:15:31 · answer #2 · answered by viv friend 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may have a mental or personality disorder that is causing him to act this way. I mean I'm not sure there is always an easy to see logical explanation for the things people do. Maybe it's a mental or personality disorder like I said before, or maybe something traumatic happened to him when he was younger, and this is his way of dealing with his unresolved issues? I don't know, I'm not a psychologist, it's just what I think. I think you did the right thing by ending the relationship, it didn't sound like a healthy one, and he definitely needs to work out his sex and commitment issues.
2016-05-21 23:30:14 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting back with you ex is not the right decision right now. He is getting ready to leave and you don't know where he will live after boot camp. Ususlly people in the military marry before the person leaves and when boot camp is over they move together where ever the military stations them. Usually people in the military have relationships with the people who are in the area they are stationed. Maybe you can wait till he is out of the military and give yourself some time to figure out what it is you want out of life and love. You shouldn't be in a relationship right now. Take some time out for yourself and get your life together so when your ex comes home you will have more to offer he is doing something with his life.
2006-10-18 04:17:33 · answer #4 · answered by barbie2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
firstly tell your current bf the situation and the truth...depending on what he says..but if he really loves you he'll understand your situation and your real needs..it is time to change and please yourself in this matter..it is you who will suffer for life if you do not make the right decision. follow your heart.
2006-10-18 04:05:08 · answer #5 · answered by choc addict 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You wasted a year of this guys life, it is unfair to him. He is being used, let him go.
2006-10-18 03:59:52 · answer #6 · answered by Eyes of Green 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to stop trying to please everyone else and worry about your own happiness. I f you can't make yourself happy how can you make anyone else happy?
2006-10-18 04:02:20 · answer #7 · answered by pirategirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
all you have to do is to be real to what your heart and mind saying..just be smart girl!
2006-10-18 04:03:56 · answer #8 · answered by lala 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please, you sound like a sl-t. You are using someone for sex.
2006-10-18 04:02:47 · answer #9 · answered by Karen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋