I'm an student studying abroad and I'm living with several girls from a different country. It's been over a month that I've lived with them and we've had so many conflicts. They expect to share everything and do everything together. They are constantly trying to control what I eat, how much I study, and where I go. The worst part of this experience is that everytime I tell them I don't want to go somewhere, do something they want to do, or eat what they want me to eat, they say things like you're a bad friend, and if I defend myself they tell me to shut up. I don't deserve this and I can't seem to get through to them. Moving is not an option, and I'm stuck here for another 11 months. I don't like people who try to manipulate me and if they can't respect my right to choose things for myself, then they are not really my friends. I've tried to talk to them and work on a compromise with them but no luck. I'm trying to make the best of the situation. Any suggestions?
2006-10-18 03:54:01 · 8 answers · asked by Secrets are best for one... 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Put a lock on your room, or your closet, and lock up anything you don't want to share with them. I had to do this with roommates who borrowed everything without asking - and it just got OLD.
Stay away from the house as much as you can, study in the library, go out with your own friends, stay busy.
When you are at home - cook for yourself, buy your own food and label it, or get a mini-fridge for your room for your food. We left a roll of tape and a marker in the kitchen so we could label all our own food. We weren't supposed to eat anyone else's stuff.
When they tell you where to go, what to eat, IGNORE THEM. Tell THEM to shut up, and tell them to stop being so rude to you. Or just don't say anything, and when they tell you to eat pasta, cook up some chicken and eat it, or whatever. How can they tell you what to eat or where to go?
When they accuse you of being a bad friend, shrug your shoulders and leave the room. They can't control you unless you fall to their peer pressure, so just do your own thing and stop talking to them. Heck, walk around with ear plugs in your ears and pretend to be listening to an ipod, even if you aren't. Just make it evident that you aren't listening to them anymore and block them out as much as you can. They sound really annoying and immature.
They are your roommates, that doesn't mean you HAVE to be their friend. You are just sharing living space, it doens't make you BFFs
2006-10-18 04:00:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would try to make the best of the situation. You only have 11 months to go. The time will go by fast. Don't let them munipulate you. Do your own thing, but try to hang out with them once in a while just to keep the peace. Don't try to talk to them about it anymore, just put yourself first and if you have extra time, spend it with your roomies.
2006-10-18 11:08:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell them that you are a loner and don't want to be included in their plans.. You appreciate their friendliness, and respect the fact they are trying to include you. Tell them you are not just one of them and that you like to make your own decisions.
You must stand up, and when they are rude, call them on it and don't be silent about it.
You are paying your way just like they are and you deserve the right to make your own choioces.
They are not your parents and you are not their pet, so back off.....I think you have been a little too meek in this situation and it is time to bring out
the stonger side of you and let them have it.....
2006-10-18 11:01:44 · answer #3 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you already answered your question. They are not true friends, if they were, they would consider your opinion and view point, and it would be best to just consentrate on your school work and try to advoid them when and if you can.
be nice, even when they aren't, they may take it differently than you, but you know what you need to do to keep the peace, you aren't being weak, you are actually showing your strength and resiliance. Thier oppinion of you doesn't matter.
Stay strong and stay safe.
Don't let them bully you out of your future!
God bless, Shannon
2006-10-18 11:00:06 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you must feel awful, try cooking for them, feed them some totally different dishes, maybe they wont like them, you might be able to explain how certain foods up sett you. If you don't want to go out with them and don't know how to tell them, offer to clean up, they will be happy, you will be overcome with exhaustion, but at least they will be off your back, smile, they want you to have fun. be honest in a nice way. good luck.
2006-10-18 11:00:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest one of two things, either give it right back to them or just try to avoid the situation. You should tell them that your values of friendship are slightly different then theirs. Tell that in your world, friends respect their friends opinions and decisions, they don't call them a bad friend because of it. Let them know that by name calling and by pushing their preferences on you they are the ones who should question their true friendship.........not you.
2006-10-18 10:59:25 · answer #6 · answered by heaven o 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
try to get them to do the stuff you wanna do,eat etc. and if they don't want to say see thats how i feel.
2006-10-18 11:03:01 · answer #7 · answered by Clark H. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
bla bla bla bla ........................dont have time ....hope u will get a better & best ans.........!!!
2006-10-18 10:56:17 · answer #8 · answered by equrab s.a 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋